Matt Hancock has revealed how he "dreaded" telling his ex-wife about his affair as he was publicly shamed for breaking his own social distancing rules.
The former Health Secretary was caught kissing his former aide Gina Coladangelo after CCTV footage from his office was leaked.
They have been in a relationship ever since, and Gina even went to Australia to greet Matt after he came third in I'm A Celebrity - a move which was branded 'controversial' as he was suspended as an MP because of it.
The Mirror reports that Matt has now written a new book in which he details his affair and his feelings of 'black dread' when he told his ex-wife Martha and their children.
About his affair, the Tory MP wrote: "Accompanying the joy of falling in love – if you are supposed to be happily married – is the turmoil. You know, with terrible black dread, that sooner or later the relationship must be revealed and everything will come crashing down."
He says that the pair "knew the devastating implications of our feelings for each other" - but they "were trying to work out the least painful way of being together".
After being contacted by the Sun, Matt knew he had to tell Martha and the children before the news of his affair went public.
"I also knew I had to tell the children – it was going to be incredibly painful, but I couldn't hide away from them for ever," he wrote in the Pandemic Diaries, serialised in the Mail on Sunday.
"They deserved to know, too. Having the Health Secretary for a husband or father during a global pandemic has been incredibly tough for the family, and I feel wretched."
Before heading to see his family, Hancock says he told then-PM Boris Johnson who was "thoughtful, considered and as supportive as he could be for everyone involved".
He also told of how "horrific" his life has been after the scandal erupted, writing: “As a consequence of our decision to live life, we have had a shockingly awful 18 months. It’s been absolutely horrific. I’ve had an absolute bucket of s*** poured over my head. The even bigger bucket of s*** has been poured over Gina’s,"
Matt was forced to resign from his role as the Health Secretary after the footage was leaked. He left his wife that night, and has been with Gina ever since.
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