For years, winning a place to live at the
Playboy Mansionwas the ultimate dream for Holly Madison.
The former waitress - who turns 43 today - could hardly believe her luck when she finally moved in and became Playboy boss Hugh Hefner 's 'number one' girlfriend.
But the fantasy proved to be wildly different from the reality, as Holly admitted she felt 'freaked out and ashamed' after taking part in group sex sessions, and was so traumatised by her time at the celeb-packed pad that she developed a stammer.
The star was the late Hefner's main partner for six years, but claimed that behind the glitz and glamour, the late publisher was a 'cruelly manipulative' man who stripped her of her self-worth and offered her 'thigh-opening' drugs.
"The sexy fairytale Hef would have you believe in was a bedazzled, twisted, toxic prison. And I know that because I spent six years as Girlfriend Number One to a man old enough to be my grandfather," said Holly, who was just 21 when she got with Hefner in 2001.
"How could I justify such a thing? 'I'm here for adventure, a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I'm here as a stepping-stone to something else,' I told myself. And then perhaps the biggest illusion of all: 'I'm here for love.'"
In her 2015 biography, Down the Rabbit Hole, the blonde Girls Next Door star described how she first met Hefner after scoring an invite to a Playboy party during whilst working as a busty waitress at Hooters in LA.
Having moved from Oregon to study at college and make it as an actress, she hoped the invite could at least secure her an audition for the magazine.
The dress-code specified 'sleepwear', so she spent what little money she had on a black corset, garter belt, stockings and a short silk robe, and soon found herself partying alongside many Hollywood stars.
However, she wrote that the host was slumped in a corner, leading Holly to wonder if he was 'senile'. And when she introduced herself, she scored a simple 'nice to meet you darling', before he moved on to the next person.
The party invites kept coming though, and a year later she was a regular. Already dreaming about what it would be like to live in the mansion full-time, Holly said she couldn't understand why none of Hefner's girlfriends looked pleased to be there.
She wrote: "His harem of girlfriends would trickle down to take their seats next to Hef at the dining table. I could never understand their lack of enthusiasm. Initially, I assumed they were spoiled, jaded, or just not a good fit in Hef's world. This may sound naïve, but I didn't immediately realise that they were actually required to sleep with him."
With the lease on her apartment about to end and her acting career still a non-starter, she decided that becoming a 'girlfriend' could be the answer.
She got her big break when Hefner invited her to a club night with six other women, however despite the glamour of their all-expenses paid VIP area, she described her companions as looking 'vacant'.
Then she claims Hefner held out his hand and offered her sedative pills called Quaaludes, explaining they used to call them 'thigh-openers' in the Seventies.
She declined, but on the car journey back, one of the girls warned her they were all expected to join Hefner in bed. Reluctant to relive what happened next in detail, Holly admitted she was drunk and woke up the next morning feeling 'freaked out and ashamed'.
But she was desperate for somewhere to live, and despite what had happened, the next morning she asked Hefner if she could move in.
It soon became clear that life at the mansion was very different to what she'd imagined.
The grand staircase was covered in pee stains from his nine dogs, and there was a strict routine, with the girls required to attend club nights on Wednesday and Friday, followed by a buffet dinner and movie night on Saturday and a pool party on Sunday. When they did get time off, the girlfriends had to be back at the mansion by 9pm.
The worst part, according to the reality star, was the way Hefner allegedly tried to turn the girls against each other to create the impression that he was being 'fought over'.
He also berated them, ordering Holly not to wear red lipstick again because it made her look, 'old, hard and cheap'.
Her trauma levels were so high that she developed a stammer, but that only endeared her to Hefner even more and in less than 12 months she was promoted to the role of his main girlfriend.
Meanwhile, the situation with the other girls spiralled. Holly claimed drug use was rife, and that one even asked her if she'd be interested in earning extra money as an escort.
Nonetheless, after six long years, she'd convinced herself she was in love and ready to settle down, although at 70 years of age, Hefner was by then infertile.
And after a series of subsequent bust-ups, she decided it was time to make her escape and leave the mansion for good.
