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The Latest Breaking News from The Mary Sue

An ode to the best Star Trek franchise

Don't make me lose the little hope I have left.

The Mary Sue

‘Bye, Andy!’: Andrew Cuomo should move to Florida, as promised, after losing the New York Mayoral elections

Months ago, Andrew Cuomo teased that he’d pack his bags and head to Florida if Zohran Mamdani won. Now that New York City has chosen its Mayor, the former governor should check if his suitcase is missing anything.

The Mary Sue

‘He wants Republicans to cheat’: Trump calls for ‘VOTER REFORM’ right after his party got swept under the rug in elections

Hours after GOP losses in major races, including Zohran Mamdani‘s New York mayoral win over Andrew Cuomo, Donald Trump‘s reaction wasn’t introspection. It was to rewrite the rules with a “voter reform.”

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‘He is throwing ketchup tonight’: Donald Trump claims Republicans would’ve won elections if his name was on the ballot

Candidates endorsed by Donald Trump were wiped off the polls during the Nov. 4 elections, including in New York City. So, he declared that Republicans lost because his name wasn’t on the ballot. Which, conveniently, is how things will be for every election from now until the end of time.

The Mary Sue

‘I hope he doesn’t give Trump heart attack’: Newly elected NYC mayor Zohran Mamdani has four words for Donald Trump, and it’s not what you think

In perhaps one of the biggest blows to the Republican Party in recent memory, Democratic socialist candidate Zohran Mamdani won the NYC mayoral election on Wednesday, becoming the city’s first Indian American, first Muslim, and the first millennial (youngest mayor in over a century) mayor-elect. He is set to take…

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‘You should’ve been paid for this’: Lesbian goes undercover on Tinder. Then she shares her shocking finds after talking to 1,000 straight men

Some people swipe for love, but this woman swiped for data. A lesbian TikToker is going viral after going undercover on straight Tinder and chatting with over 2,500 men in the name of science (and mild chaos). Her research question? Asking every single man their most controversial opinion.

The Mary Sue

Whoopi Goldberg shouldn’t have to apologize for making a harmless joke

During Monday’s episode of The View, co-host Whoopi Goldberg made an offhand–and frankly rather inoffensive–joke about President Donald Trump using an autopen. On the heels of the Trump administration wanting to null and void former President Joe Biden’s pardons because he used an autopen, it is actually the perfect place…

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‘The absolute irony of PVO standing for Positive Vibes Only’: Colorado women go to mall to shoe shop. Then PVO store owner threatens to hit them

A woman had a peculiar encounter while shopping at the Citadel Mall. The reason why? She got yelled at by a PVO Xclusives store owner for trying to explain Colorado’s dog leash policy.

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‘That girl takes her job too seriously’: New York woman goes to Costco. Then the cashier takes one look at her card—and ‘does her dirty’

A woman taking a quick trip to Costco was baffled when an employee told her she couldn’t come back if “he’s” not with her. “He?” she asked. Who was the employee talking about?

The Mary Sue

‘Krusty Kreme’: Former Krispy Kreme worker goes to Walmart. Then he exposes the truth about the Krispy Kreme donuts

When you’re craving a Krispy Kreme donut and there isn’t a location nearby, some grocery stores carry them in designated areas.

The Mary Sue

All hail Marge Simpson, the new queen of ‘Fortnite’

I just think she's neat!

The Mary Sue

‘Ratings are in the toilet’: Seth Meyers gives it back to Donald Trump after he called him a ‘deranged lunatic’ for talking about ‘electric catapults on aircraft carriers’

Donald Trump is not the strongest advocate for free speech. Throughout his second term as President of the United States, he has repeatedly shown how far he is willing to go to silence critics. His latest targets? Comedians. First, it was Jimmy Kimmel, and now it’s Seth Meyers.

The Mary Sue

Everyone’s favorite Netflix love story is coming back for season 3

Netflix has revealed what’s going on with Nobody Wants This Season 3. Everyone’s favorite love story just got a massive update right from Kristen Bell herself and the Internet is absolutely buzzing. She sat down with the rest of the Nobody Wants This cast on Zoom and revealed that Season…

The Mary Sue

Max Landis is trying to rebrand. Don’t let him

Let's not forget who Max Landis is.

The Mary Sue

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‘Alanis definitely changed the formula’: Ozarks woman takes a sip of Peach Alani. Then she buys the same can—but it has a different taste

As far as energy drinks go, Alani Nus do feel a cut above the rest—but according to one TikToker, the peach-flavored ones might have an extra little kick.

The Mary Sue

Brendan Fraser is returning for everyone’s bisexual awakening franchise

I could not be more seated.

The Mary Sue

‘I don’t know anything about it’: Mike Johnson uses deflection yet again, says he knows nothing about Trump pardoning money laundering crypto billionaire friend

If there is one thing that Speaker Mike Johnson likes to do the most, it is to deflect. I wouldn’t say that he is the best at what he does, but he definitely aims for the stars.

The Mary Sue

10 actors who should always play weird characters

Type casting be damned!

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‘Men are gonna tip you more’: Arizona Twin Peaks worker tries to hide her pregnancy. Viewers are encouraging her not to

At restaurants like Twin Peaks, where uniforms and appearance are part of the brand, pregnancy can add a complicated layer to the job.

The Mary Sue

An ode to the Denny’s we are surely to lose: In memoriam

Denny’s we hardly knew ye. This week, the popular restaurant chain announced that they would be taking the company private on the stock market. Denny’s is a part of a $620 million deal with TriArtisan Capital Advisors, Treville Capital, and Yadav Enterprises. That’s private equity for those of you playing…

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‘Just words on paper’: People troll Mike Johnson as he brags about having ’60 or 70 pages of ideas” for healthcare reform, but no concrete plan

House Speaker Mike Johnson has made a name for himself in American politics for all the wrong reasons. Since Trump began his second term as President of the United States this year, Johnson has appeared in front of the media and people on multiple occasions and blatantly lied. His most…

The Mary Sue

‘Poor baby’: Trump goes on an infantile self-boasting rant after he discovers his collapsing approval ratings, calls them ‘fake’

Donald Trump discovered his approval rating had fallen through the floor, so, naturally, he called the floor fake. And he decided to congratulate himself, sitting at the same Oval Office that 63 % of Americans say he’s ruining.

The Mary Sue

Elon Musk flips just a week after he called Zohran Mamdani the ‘future of the Democratic Party’

Donald Trump and the Republicans are feeling the pressure of the NYC mayoral elections. With multiple sources predicting a win for “communist” and “socialist” Zohran Mamdani over sexual assaulter Andrew Cuomo and Republican representative Curtis Sliwa, billionaires like Elon Musk are doing everything they can to sway the results in…

The Mary Sue

‘Completely wipe out’: Nobel Peace Prize wannabe Donald Trump wants to add Nigeria to his war portfolio

After allegedly ending eight wars, United States President Donald Trump now has his eyes on preventing a ninth conflict currently happening in Nigeria. Trump recently expressed his views on this issue while speaking with journalists aboard Air Force One.

The Mary Sue

‘Textbook example of gaslighting’: Mike Johnson’s delusion reaches record levels of high as he blames the media for supporting the Dems

Mike Johnson refuses to accept that the majority of Americans believe the ongoing government shutdown is due to the Republicans. Instead, he is once again placing the blame on the Democrats and accusing the media of twisting the facts.

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