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The Latest Breaking News from The Mary Sue

‘The bar wasn’t low enough’: Donald Trump endorses Jake Paul for political office, proving anything is possible

In an unexpected move, President Donald Trump endorsed boxer and YouTuber Jake Paul to run for public office. This is not a South Park episode.

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Doctor says you should buy Sensodyne and Arm & Hammer toothpaste. Then he reveals what sets them apart: ‘Both have the key’

Dentists recommend that you brush your teeth twice a day and floss at least once.

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Boston girl invites a guy for ice skating, ghosts him, then backtracks to ‘just friends’ when he cancels for a family emergency

Dating in the modern era is often a high-stakes game of energy matching. For TikTok creator Jay (@injaywetrustdenver), a planned date to the Boston Commons became a masterclass in reading red flags.

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Connecticut woman attends a cloth swap at a friend’s house and finds her phone missing. Then she figures a 7yo girl was the culprit: ‘What even’

Clothing swaps are supposed to be about finding new treasures. But what if you lose the one most important treasure (your phone) while trying to update your wardrobe? Sadly, that’s exactly what happened to TikTok creator Kate (@moretolovski).

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Cillian Murphy Is Back as Tommy Shelby, And the Casting of His ‘Peaky Blinders’ Son Came From an Iconic Text.

Happy Father's Day...

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Woman says date made her walk on injured knee. Then he reveals he’s moving to Nebraska. The cherry on top is when he rips a Zyn at dinner

First dates are sometimes unpleasant, and other times so bad you end up telling the story for weeks. One woman says her recent date definitely falls into the second category.

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Longhorn Steakhouse server says lamb chops are back—and customers are insufferable about it: ‘I’ll be there for my crusted cheese water later’

Early this month, Longhorn Steakhouse brought back its beloved lamb chops to the menu, also available with a Parmesan crust option.

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Grey’s Anatomy Star Returns to Limelight to….Go to Mar-A-Lago?

Why would you go there?

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Woman books trip to sister’s wedding. Two days before the wedding, she gets a call: ‘I am too European for this’

Work should be the last thing on your mind during an important event. And weddings aren’t an exception. Nothing should interfere with witnessing a loved one committing to their forever person at the altar.

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Woman goes for a tan at Planet Fitness. She looks up—and sees something shocking: ‘Absolutely report it to the police’

A woman has gone viral after allegedly making a disturbing discovery while going for a tan at Planet Fitness. And rest assured—viewers were horrified.

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No, People Aren’t Suddenly Dressing Like Carolyn Bessette. The “Old Money Aesthetic” Just Got A New/Old Muse

Weren't people already doing this, and with a much darker connotation?

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New York woman orders $600 bag from Revolve. She sees it came with a potential biohazard when she opens it: ‘I actually have no words’

Unboxing a $600 designer bag should feel glamorous, not like opening evidence in a crime scene. But that’s exactly the vibe one New York woman says she got after ordering a sleek Cult Gaia piece from Revolve.

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Nurse asks coworker to witness a medicine disposal that she already threw away. The coworker never spoke to her again: ‘I GOT A LICENSE’

In the medical world, a signature is not just ink on paper. It is a legal bond and a vow of accuracy. For TikTok creator and nurse Angel (@angeltrensetta), that vow was tested during a routine shift. Rightfully, she chose her license over loyalty for a co-worker.

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‘Isn’t this DEI?’ Erika Kirk’s U.S. Air Force Academy Board Appointment Draws Public’s Skepticism

Conservative podcaster Charlie Kirk’s wife, Erika Kirk, has been appointed by President Donald Trump as a board member of the U.S. Air Force Academy. Prior to his death, her husband was also appointed by Trump to the same position.

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IEA’s ‘unprecedented’ oil release was supposed to fix everything, yet the market had a chilling response

The International Energy Agency (IEA) announced this week that its member countries unanimously agreed to release a massive 400 million barrels of oil from their strategic reserves, an unprecedented move aimed at stabilizing soaring prices, but the market’s response was, frankly, a bit chilling. Despite this huge injection of potential…

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Virginia mom goes shopping at Five Below, checks out, and walks to her car. Then an employee came accusing her of stealing her bag: ‘I turned so red’

Shopping for a bargain usually feels like a win. But for TikTok creator Claire (@over30momtips), a trip to Five Below turned into a public nightmare. All because she wore her favorite designer puffer bag.

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‘Incoherent and incomplete’: Sen. Chris Murphy Takes a Dig at Classified Trump War Plans

Sen. Chris Murphy from Connecticut emerged from a briefing about the war in Iran with more questions than answers. The senator took to X to express his confusion about Trump’s war plans.

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Tipping culture under fire as a new survey claims businesses are using it to shift the burden of wages onto customers

Americans are absolutely fed up with tipping culture, and a new survey just dropped some big news about why. It turns out nearly nine in 10 people think the whole thing is “out of control”! A whopping 83% of Americans are even backing a ban on those automatic service charges…

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In a move as tone-deaf as it gets, Trump’s World Cup welcome for Iran collapses after a blunt statement from the nation

Iran’s sports minister Ahmad Donyamali, has officially declared that the nation cannot participate in the upcoming FIFA World Cup after the United States killed its Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. This firm statement comes after weeks of escalating conflict and marks a definitive withdrawal from the global tournament.

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Utah woman randomly logs into her bank account and sees 5 new accounts and a $21 million balance: ‘I would’ve fled the country’

Everyone jokes about a bank error in their favor so they can leave the country and never come back. But for TikTok creator @brooklynandbailey, that daydream turned into a reality. One morning, she woke up a multi-millionaire with $21 million in her account.

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Arizona woman finds her ‘secret stash’ in her childhood bedroom but it’s ‘not that kind of secret stash,’ it’s better

For many, a childhood bedroom is a time capsule of questionable fashion and phase-specific hobbies. But for TikTok creator Katie (@katie.org), it turned out to be a warehouse for her secret stash of 2000s infomercial history.

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A New Live-Action Scooby-Doo Has Fans Asking One Important Question: Who Owns Scooby?

Shaggy, right? RIGHT?

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‘Being alive is expensive’: TikTok User With Three Jobs Can No Longer Pay Her Bills

When three jobs no longer pay the bills, something must be deeply wrong with the system. TikTok user ‘himynameissimone_’ posted a clip to express her exasperation at the rising cost of living in the United States.

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Ethan Hawke Reminds Us the Kind of King He Is: “But I Don’t Eat Food”

Finger sandwiches? Spinach dip? What does he mean?

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Unqualified Erika Kirk Now Has a Job in the Government. All Because She’s a Widow?

What makes her qualified?

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