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The Latest Breaking News from The Mary Sue

‘Beyond parody’: Tone-deaf Donald Trump flaunts his new White House ‘marble shitter’ after withholding SNAP benefits for 42 million people

On day 31 of the government shutdown, Donald Trump decided to give America a house tour of his bathroom. When 42 million people are losing SNAP benefits the next day, his intellect told him it’s the best time to flaunt his riches.

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‘I believe in the Christian gospel’: JD Vance called his devout Hindu wife ‘agnostic’ and wants to convert her

For JD Vance, apparently, his wife, Usha Vance’s religion needs an upgrade for him to stay politically relevant. While speaking at a Turning Point event, he accidentally exposed how faith has become a tool for his political ambitions in MAGA land.

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‘What in the horror movie’: It’s the morning of her best friend’s wedding. An unexpected home repair has people saying they should cancel it

Every wedding has its hiccups, but this one looks straight out of a horror movie. A TikToker is going viral after posting a video of her best friend’s big day, starting with a full-blown disaster.

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‘One of the girls looked at me’: Indiana Chili’s customer orders Classic Nachos. Was she wrong to send them back for looking like this?

When you go to a restaurant, you expect a certain standard—even in casual dining spots like Chili’s. So, when TikToker Amy (@blessed_greatful_crazy) received her Classic Nachos order, she wasn’t particularly impressed.

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‘I guess I will be using Postmates’: Arizona woman orders $50 Sbarro pizza on DoorDash. Then her Dasher robs her. But he made this one huge mistake

An Arizona woman orders Sbarro pizza on DoorDash after a grueling 12.5-hour shift. However, her Dasher doesn’t deliver the pizza, leading to a hilarious viral interaction with her neighbor, who helped crack the case.

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‘I bout fell out’: Illinois woman passes on Dubai Crumbl cookie after seeing price. Then she goes to Dairy Queen

Whether it’s a fast-food lunch or a coffee shop pastry, eating out in the U.S. feels like it costs more with every passing month. Even small “treat yourself” moments, like grabbing a cookie or a cone, can now run close to what used to be a full meal.

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Real life villain, Greg Abbott, compares himself to Marvel hero because everything sucks

Texas Governor Greg Abbott got some comics fans riled up on Twitter today. On the social media platform, the politician used Grok to render a picture of himself as one of the Marvel X-Men characters. From there, things got weird.

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‘I make sure to have common sense’: Texas server shares the things she always does when she’s the customer—here’s why they’re so uncommon

If you’ve ever wondered how to score special treatment at a restaurant, take notes from someone on the inside. A Texas server on TikTok is spilling the special measures she always takes when she’s the customer. Except, they aren’t really that special. She lists things like basic manners that, shockingly,…

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‘Let’s normalize getting Police involved’: Pennsylvania woman leaves hotel room. Then she comes back, sees her security hack was tampered with

When it comes to hotels, safety and security are paramount. Being able to feel safe is essentially the bare minimum that a hotel should provide. However, for TV show host Egypt Sherrod (@egyptsherrodofficial), this expectation wasn’t met.

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‘I was today years old’: Miami woman gets ‘gummy bear’ implants. Then she finds out something shocking when she gets a CAT scan 4 years later

A Miami, Florida, woman decides to get “gummy bear” breast implants in 2021. However, she discovers that her surgery didn’t go as agreed after she gets into a car accident.

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‘Chad Powers’ is, spiritually, a lot like my favorite off the wall comedy franchise

'Chad Powers' is an unhinged comedy in the best of ways, like an iconic franchise.

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‘This guy is not moving’: New York woman calls Uber. Then she gets to him before he has a chance to ‘scam’ her

How do you know your rideshare driver is trying to scam you? A New York woman says that she realized her Uber driver was running a scam, so she confronted him. But some people aren’t buying it.

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10 perfectly funny Lestat quotes from ‘Interview with the Vampire’

You don't get a nickname like the Brat Prince without a good sense of humor.

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No, a show depicting something bad does not mean that it’s endorsing it

A new season of Prime Video’s Hazbin Hotel has arrived, and with it, a fresh wave of recycled discourse.

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Why are all the studios trying to eat (buy) each other?!

Why is this constantly a thing now?

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‘American lives are not a political game’: Rep. Melanie Stansbury makes some strong arguments while accusing President Trump of playing with Americans’ lives

The Trump administration is ready to go to great lengths to ensure the government functions on their terms. If the ongoing government shutdown wasn’t enough, Trump is now trying to pressure the Democrats into conceding to his demands regarding the funding bill.

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‘That’s the difference between leadership and lunacy’: Jasmine Crockett shuts down Republicans blaming the Democrats for government shutdown with facts

While the government is still in shutdown due to a deadlock between Republicans and Democrats over a crucial funding bill, both parties are engaged in a blame game. The Republicans seem to be doing most of the heavy lifting in this situation, but the Democrats are also not giving in.

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‘Has he met the President?’: Mike Johnson is mad about Democrats dropping F-bombs when Trump has been doing it live for years

In his latest pearl-clutching performance, Mike Johnson is scandalized by Democrats using the F-word. Which is adorable, considering his party leader uses it like punctuation. Ever heard of selective outrage?

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‘Y’all really don’t care about the no-fly list’: Woman sees $125 pet fee to bring dog with her on plane. So she takes drastic measures

A woman could’ve gotten herself in trouble after taking a risky flight with a surprise guest. Instead, she brought her dog onto a plane without saying anything and saved herself $125.

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An MTV staple has been canceled

MTV just cancelled one of their staple shows as the Paramount restructuring continues. Ridiculousness, starring Rob Dyrdek, is no more as the entertainment giant scrambles to cut costs. TMZ reports that MTV has made the decision this week. This current season will continue, but after that it’s time to hang…

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Okay fine, the “Beez in the Trap” meme is the best

May we all find the perfect duo for this trend.

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‘At first i thought this was a reach but what the……’: Woman buys new Hatch sound machine. Then she throws it away over ‘demonic ties’

It’s the spooky season—but not everyone is down to get haunted.

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Kim Kardashian cites TikTok as her source while talking about debunked moon landing theories

2025 has been a lot of “sure, why the hell not?” and the recent statement from Kim Kardashian is just another tally on that list. Because sure, why the hell not, let’s bring back the faked moon landing discourse in 2o25 because enough historical parallels aren’t going on right now.

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‘It tasted funny’: Washington man reports Minute Maid lemonade to Burger King worker. Then she gaslights him

A family in Elma, Washington, claims that a Burger King employee “p-ssed” in their Minute Maid lemonade. Outraged, they tried to bring it up to an employee, only to get gaslit and told that they were seeing —and tasting—things wrong.

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‘How’s that for a tip?’: Server cracks a joke to table that racked up $250 bill. Then it costs her a good tip

A tip is crucial for how servers make ends meet. Since these are optional, servers try to win their customers over with tactics like small talk or compliments. Occasionally, they’ll throw in a couple of jokes. Of course, there will be customers who don’t take kindly to this because humor…

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