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The Latest Breaking News from The Mary Sue

‘Free speech guy wants to shut down freedom’: Elon Musk is shamelessly calling for Trump to invoke the Insurrection Act in Minnesota

Elon Musk has spent years branding himself as a free speech absolutist. On Thursday, he demonstrated exactly how conditional that belief really is. The tech guy is bored, so he wants his president boss to invoke the Insurrection Act for fun. Great America, here we are.

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Donald Trump confirms he has short-term memory loss; he can’t even name Maria Machado after taking her Nobel Peace Prize

Donald Trump stood in front of the press and talked for minutes about the Nobel Peace Prize he just received. But he never once managed to name Maria Corina Machado. The president is never beating the dementia/Alzheimer’s allegations.

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After USDA’s Milk Mustache Trump, the White House posts an even weirder whole milk promotion

Just when it seemed like the government had exhausted every possible way to make milk strange, the White House escalated. We now have Donald Trump as a milkman and a new GOP slogan: “Make Whole Milk Great Again.” Sorry, what was wrong with that earlier?

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Katie Miller makes an ‘Extra ICE’ joke with her Starbucks, but the internet is one step ahead, as always

Timing is everything. And on January 17, Katie Miller managed to pick the worst possible moment to post a joke about “extra ICE.” Miller logged onto X, snapped a Starbucks photo, and decided irony was appropriate. It wasn’t.

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French President Macron is invoking the EU’s most powerful trade weapon against Donald Trump’s threats

The world thought trade wars between the United States and its allies were relics of the past. However, Trump then threw another tantrum about Denmark not selling him Greenland and announced tariffs on European countries. Macron’s response? Anti-coercion Instrument.

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‘Make America Go Away’: People in Greenland are now wearing MAGA hats, but it’s not what you think

On Greenland’s protest lines, the famous MAGA slogan has been flipped into something intentionally spiteful and unmistakably clear. The bright red Trump hats now read “Make America Go Away.” It started as a cheeky political parody, but has morphed into a massive public statement.

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Miami man goes to Crumbl. Then he catches a worker doing something that changes his mind about eating there: ‘Insomnia cookies would never’

A Crumbl Cookies shopper in Miami noticed a potential health hazard that’s making him reconsider the company’s soft, tear-apart treats.

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Jimmy Kimmel Used His Awards For a Good Cause: To Bribe Donald Trump to Get ICE Out of Minnesota

Hopefully he takes the bait!

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One Player on ‘The Traitors’ Has Fans Talking With His Grammar Lesson

A hot grammar lesson!

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This conservative influencer got a rude awakening at his Minnesota ICE rally

Who is Jake Lang?

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New York City woman needs mosquito repellant. So she goes to the Victoria’s Secret perfume counter

Pefume has the ability to attract or repel people. Does the same thing apply to bugs? After her travel doctor recommended a specific perfume brand to keep mosquitoes away, she embarked on an adventure to her local Victoria’s Secret to find out for herself.

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35-year-old Texas woman ‘grossly abused tanning beds’ in her teens. This $8 serum from Trader Joe’s has saved her from ‘crepey neck’

A Texas woman says she was considering a pricey laser treatment for crepey skin on her neck, a result of tanning beds two decades earlier. However, an $8 serum from Trader Joe’s may have fixed her concern and saved her thousands.

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A woman gets her lip filler dissolved. Then she’s rushed to the hospital in an ambulance: ‘Did they dissolve it with a baseball bat?’

As lip filler ages, it may migrate to other areas of the face, creating an undesired look. While it’s usually fixable with a simple dissolver procedure, one Australian woman shares her scary experience as a heads-up to others.

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Man walks into Hermes with no purchase history. That didn’t stop them from taking him to the VIP room: ‘Consumerismcore?’

A man has managed to do the ‘unthinkable’ by getting into the Hermès VIP room with zero prior purchase history.

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Woman wants designer shopping bag but doesn’t want to spend $125. Then she finds out Aldi has a $30 dupe: ‘Target has one for $12’

Most people are aware of how expensive designer products are. Easily exceeding hundreds (and sometimes thousands) of dollars, one glance at the price tag is enough to feel the money draining from the wallet. Those who desire brand-name products don’t want to go into debt to snag them. Instead, they…

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‘Please bring a sandwich and a chair’: Bride sends out her wedding invitations. Then she receives a shocking anonymous letter

An RSVP matters when you’re planning a wedding. They don’t just help you figure out how many plates you’re serving, but also how the venue sets up the space, how much food you’re paying for, and whether your night feels full or oddly empty.

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Woman goes to her ‘favorite’ coffee shop weekly to study for the MCAT. Then a barista kicks her out for not buying anything. So who was in the right?

A local coffee shop and one of its regulars are trading words on TikTok after the customer was allegedly kicked out for not buying anything. It’s not every day you see a small business and a customer openly beefing in 4K, and the drama is sparking a ton of discourse…

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San Diego social media expert helps boyfriend become an influencer. Then he dumps her: ‘I truly thought we were building a life together’

Every year, it seems like we collectively invent new and improved ways to make dating more difficult.

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Woman with $22 to her name orders croissant, coffee at birthday brunch. She wasn’t ready for the bill to be split evenly: ’It’s $118 each’

Discussing how to split the bill is awkward enough, but when you’ve ordered significantly less, it’s even more excruciating. This was the dilemma TikTok user Flor (@sidehustleswithflor) faced when she was expected to pay an extortionate amount for a considerably light brunch.

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Starbucks barista draws John Pork meme on LASD officer’s cup. Then they get fired: ‘Cops are so sensitive’

A Starbucks barista got fired for drawing John Pork, a popular meme, on a LASD police officer’s Starbucks cup.

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‘Who would’ve thought?’: Texas woman buys $60 Dior Saddle Bag dupe from Canal Street in New York. Then she shows why she should’ve only paid $20

New York City attracts millions of tourists from across the globe each year. The Statue of Liberty, Broadway, and Central Park are just a few of the iconic experiences to see. For bargain hunters, a famous (or rather infamous) hot spot lures them in like a moth to flame: Canal…

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Matt Damon and Ben Affleck Almost Made a Gay Baseball Romance Together, Which Could Mean Nothing

How do we make this happen?

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Woman attends $1 day at Goodwill. Then she catches Goodwill doing something sneaky with the Orange tags: ‘They arent suppose to do that’

When TikToker Angelina Vue (@angelina.vu) attended $1 day at Goodwill, she made a shocking discovery. And needless to say, she wasn’t happy.

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New England woman goes through Walmart self-checkout. Then she shows it’s to protect the tiny creature she rescued in the store: ‘Just be careful’

Where did you get your first pet?

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Pamela Anderson had one big problem with her Golden Globes appearance

She is still looking for an apology for 'Pam and Tommy'

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