There’s an old stereotype about an oft-bullied, dorky kid who thinks he can reinvent himself at his new school. They decide that changing a surface-level aspect of their personality will be enough for a respected reputation with people who don’t know them. Of course, it never is because that’s not how it works.
Enter Zach Wilson, king of the bullied.
The ex-New York Jet is beginning his first season as a quarterback for the Denver Broncos. After spectacularly busting with Gang Green, Wilson is clearly ready for the fresh change of scenery.
I know this because he unveiled a new slicked-back hairstyle for his time with Mile High. No one’s going to bully him anymore. No way!
New look in Denver for @ZachWilson pic.twitter.com/fwZGOPXaZ1
— NFL (@NFL) June 25, 2024
To me, the hairdo makes Wilson look like a bizarre cross of Gordon Gecko from Wall Street and a bog-standard star player on a lacrosse team. I’m not sure what he was thinking other than maximizing an opportunity to be the cool new kid at his new school.
We’ll see if that gambit works.
NFL fans had so many jokes about Zach Wilson’s new hairstyle
zach wilson went to the broncos and turned into bo callahan https://t.co/XfBnLDjQrT pic.twitter.com/2hZBazMsq7
— cade (@CadeBuffalow) June 25, 2024
Zach Wilson looks like he's about to star in a Blood In Blood Out remake https://t.co/AhCCFfEl3O
— Hector Diaz (@iamHectorDiaz) June 25, 2024
Zach Wilson's new hairstyle makes him look like he's playing Brock Osweiler in a new Disney Channel movie that absolutely nobody asked for pic.twitter.com/cDZdfMjqmC
— Joe Beldner (@JoeBeldner) June 25, 2024
That is little rocky from Christmas vacation actually https://t.co/Czz67T7amt pic.twitter.com/MTn23yCf89
— lindsey ok (@lindseyyok) June 25, 2024
this is an extra from Wolf of Wall Street https://t.co/ffEZYK2Szp
— Jordan Zirm (@JordanZirm) June 25, 2024
you think this is slicked back? This is PUSHED back https://t.co/CL3vUGn1FE
— Tyler (@TylerHerrick) June 25, 2024
He look like Dash from the Incredibles https://t.co/n7paHxIZUw
— Good Grief. (@NotoriousBIGTIM) June 25, 2024
https://t.co/2e2vKTJyy7 pic.twitter.com/AatZKbDBN1
— SAM HINA (@samuelhinajr) June 25, 2024
This is the bad guy from a lifetime TV movie based on a true story https://t.co/EdAfKaar2z
— Im a writer (@JayJDONDA) June 25, 2024
