A woman shared her plans to track her 27-year-old daughter while she travels abroad and asked for advice on how to convince her to download an app, but other parents thought she had "no right to track her."
The mother shared her concerns about her adult daughter travelling to Bangkok and said that tracking her location will put her at ease if she does not hear from her for a couple of days. On the popular forum, the woman was met with a mixed response from its users, but many felt that she did not respect her daughter's boundaries.
On the 'am I being unreasonable' thread, she wrote: "I'm asking for information and your experience with these. What is the name of a good app? How have you used them? My daughter is off travelling soon for 6 to 9 months approx. Going to Bangkok to start with, Vietnam and so on. She's mid-twenties, 27? Hard to remember. So yesterday I mentioned a tracker app, as a friend had suggested it to me, and she just laughed. Think I may be able to persuade her. Your suggestions on how to convince her would be fabulous, please. Why would she be likely to resent it? I can't imagine the issue with it."
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She added: "She is an adult, indeed. She also has had problems with drink that have got her in quite a few pickles. I know Bangkok isn't the end of the earth and there is communications/ wifi in most places. I just feel it might reassure me if she doesn't respond to any messages for a number of days. She sometimes doesn't reply at the moment and I have learned to live with it. I suppose it's just something I've heard about so wanted to ask.
"She's quite sensible I suppose. I don't know. Just seeking people's experiences as she's going to be on her own and I am a bit of a worrier."
Many Mumsnet users were shocked that she would want to track her nearly 30-year-old daughter. One said: "She's 27! She wants to live her life, like we all do, and you do not need to know where she is all the time. I think adults tracking other adults is awful, but particularly if this is coming from a parent. Just, please, treat her with some respect."
Another added: "She had also said no. Presumably, because she can see how ludicrous this is. Leave her alone." While another commenter said: "Are you serious? You have no right to do this."
Some mothers told the woman that a tracking app would not ease her worries. A user said: "Realistically, what's the point? If she's out getting drunk in Bangkok, you aren't going to be able to go pick her up. This won't do anything besides stoke your anxiety." While another added: "This won't give you the reassurance you think it will. What happens when her phone is out of signal, or her battery dies, or she inevitably drops it in a puddle or smashes it at a bar and you can't see anything for hours or even days at a time?"
However, some commenters thought it was "a brilliant idea". One wrote: "Erm how do you not remember your daughter's age lol [laugh out loud]. But anyway, I actually don’t think it’s a bad idea to have a tracker on her phone but obviously, she would need to be in total agreement with it. I’d agree to it if it was my mum and I’m in my 30s. I don’t have a problem with her knowing where I am etc."
Another added: "I think it a brilliant idea to set it up and let her manage it. So, if there was a reason she felt she needed it, she could just enable it. The key thing is she’s in control of when she’s tracked. I know it kind of defeats to object but it’s a good compromise."
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