Insecurity can ruin even the healthiest of relationships. People who feel insecure tend to project their emotions onto others and get riled up about the smallest things. Their overthinking can chip away at their confidence and the way they feel about the relationships they’re in.
That’s exactly what a Reddit poster experienced when her girlfriend kept questioning her and putting her down for being too feminine. The woman was shocked at how easily the whole situation culminated into one big fight.
More info: Reddit
Lesbian couple reaches their breaking point when insecure GF attacks her partner because she decided to wear a dress to a party
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
21 Y.O. woman has been dating her GF for four months, during which her GF kept commenting on her clothing choices and her hairstyle, saying it made her look like a straight girl
Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch (not the actual photo)
Since the poster had only dated men previously, her insecure girlfriend kept accusing her of missing the feeling of being with men
Image credits: Rachel Claire (not the actual photo)
The couple was going to attend a party when the woman’s GF took issue with the dress she wore and tried to force her to change it, saying that “no one was going to think [they] were together”
Image credits: u/Numerous-Barber-5623
When the poster refused to change, her GF was violent with her, she also reduced the woman to tears by forcing her to prove she liked girls
The 21-year-old woman shared that she had only dated men before she met her girlfriend. She and her 24-year-old partner had been together for 4 months, during which the other woman kept commenting on her clothes and hair. Since the girlfriend was more masculine-presenting, she constantly had an issue with the poster looking too feminine.
The author always stood her ground and told her girlfriend she would not be changing her style. Another instance when this became an issue is when the poster commented on a video of two feminine lesbians getting married. Her girlfriend immediately got mad and accused her of wanting to look like them. Apart from that, the partner also seemed worried that the author missed being with men.
Since the poster had dated men in the past and was now dating a woman, she shared that, “I would call myself bi, but she hates when I do that.” The author also added, “she had problems with my long hair and my ‘girly’ clothes and my makeup, but also with the music I listen to (omg Taylor Swift is straight people music), and the things I enjoy (god, you actually like that show?) because it was all typically ‘girly’ or feminine.”
It’s interesting to note that heterosexual and gay/lesbian people are less willing to date bisexual people. Bisexual women are often the ones to be rejected, especially by lesbian women, due to stereotypes about them being untrustworthy, unreliable, or more likely to sleep with men. Another form of bias against bisexual women is the stereotype that they are actually straight and just trying to be with women for “fun” as an “experiment” or even to attract straight men.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
One day, the couple was getting ready to attend a friend’s birthday dinner. The poster had worn a black dress, but when her girlfriend saw what she was wearing, she told her to change it. The woman refused to change, which is when her partner got aggressive. She pulled the poster by her arms, held her face, and kept demanding she change her outfit.
The insecure girlfriend kept making these kinds of demands because she felt that nobody would know they were dating if one of them was feminine-presenting. After attending the dinner, their fight continued when the partner forced the poster to “prove” she liked girls. The author broke down because she didn’t like being forced, and she also had to apologize to her girlfriend.
The aggression that the poster’s girlfriend showed to her signals that something is wrong in their relationship. It is estimated that around 17-45% of lesbians have been a victim of some kind of physical violence from their lesbian partner. When one partner holds this much power, it can be tough for the other to know what to do.
According to Healthline, “these behaviors might stem from jealousy or lack of trust, but they can also suggest a need for control — both of which can contribute to relationship toxicity. Finding yourself constantly on edge, even when you aren’t facing stress from outside sources, is a critical indicator that something’s off.”
The author’s relationship seems to have taken a turn for the worse because of her partner’s problems with her dressing style. The girlfriend’s toxic behavior and her need for control also made the woman doubt herself even more. This post received 13k upvotes and 6.8k comments, with commenters outraged on behalf of the woman. Who do you think was wrong here? Share your point of view in the comments below.
Netizens were concerned for the poster’s safety and felt that the girlfriend was abusive and insecure
