Witnesses of Neymar’s sad decline hope for one final twist in his career’s brutal narrative arc

‘For all the absurdities of his career Neymar has also remained an absolute footballing machine.’ Illustration: Gary Neill

What’s your favourite Neymar advert? This is a tough question to answer. The body of work is huge and varied. The foot deodorant ad perhaps, which depicts Neymar’s feet literally on fire, ablaze with some kind of divine eau de toenail.

Or the new one for a brand of açaí berry death-gloop sorbet product, which shows Neymar holding up twin cones, like phials of luminous unicorn-sperm, and looking as though he’s just been hit over the head with a rock and it’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him.