Soon after the partner of successful businesswoman Amanda Morrison moved in with her, he packed in his job, settled into the comfortable home she owned, and put his feet up. He demanded money from her and she refused. So, he locked his hands around her neck and throttled her.
It was the first time he had been violent towards her, and she was adamant it would be the last. Amanda arranged a job for him on a tug boat out at sea, dumped his belongings at his friend’s house, and changed the locks. That is when the nightmare began.
“I experienced full-blown stalking,” she said. “He was very angry and wanted to destroy me after I ended the relationship.”
It may have been 25 years ago when she split from the man who had lived with her in her native Canada for three years. Yet, even today, as she gets on with her life in Scotland, she still receives hang-up phone calls on her mobile, and heavy breathing. Sometimes, he even speaks – and when he does, he tells her he loves her.
Every few years, she changes her number. But it doesn’t take long before he’s back on the line.
What Amanda experienced after throwing him out was sustained, coercive control that left her terrified and fearing for her life.
“He appeared everywhere I would go, screaming and shouting, even at my business, punching holes in the wall,” she said.
“He tried to run me off the road as I was driving to work. I once got home at two o’clock in the morning, went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, looked out the window and saw him standing there. I hit the floor, crawled out of the kitchen and phoned the police.”
His threatening behaviour and persistent intimidation took its toll on Amanda’s physical and mental health. Constantly stressed, she experienced dramatic weight loss and her hair began to fall out.
A group of friends persuaded her to join them on a weekend camping trip in the hope of helping her to relax and escape his obsessive pattern of behaviour.
Tired after a fun-filled trip with the girls, Amanda returned home to turn in for the night, with her best friend bidding her goodnight and heading to her spare room.
As soon as she climbed into bed, the distinctive smell of his aftershave on the sheets hit her. She darted out of her bedroom to find her best friend not in the spare room, but in the living room. He had urinated on both spare beds.
Frantically stripping the bedding and loading it into the washing machine, Amanda said: “I wanted him away, away, away. I did not stop and think this was evidence. He’d kicked his way in through the back door. Because he had been living in my house, the police couldn’t even get fingerprint evidence. I got myself and my business alarmed and monitored.”
While Amanda was experiencing unmitigated harassment and intimidation, the perception 20 years ago was that stalking was something that happened only to celebrities, perpetrated by a complete stranger and never in the context of a relationship.
Her stalker was never interviewed by police, who had nothing to go on but her word.
“One of my biggest concerns was, he was a gun-owner,” she said. “Growing up in the wilderness of Canada, he owned a hand gun. The gun box was there when I moved his stuff to his friend’s. That was the police’s only concern. They didn’t care about me. They cared about where the gun was. I received threats that he was going to shoot me with that gun.
“My best friend started staying with me to make sure I was safe. I could not have gotten through that as well as I did if it was not for her support. I was angry at myself for ever getting into the relationship.”
Although escaping the stalking was a factor in her decision to uproot, she moved to Scotland after an online meeting with a man she’d later marry.
During the seven-year marriage, her stalker’s persistent pestering ceased. But when the marriage came to an end, he was back.
She knows from friends in Canada that he’s “flat broke.” If not for his dire financial circumstances, mum-of-two Amanda’s in no doubt that he’d be here in Scotland, seeking her out.
It was while volunteering with Victim Support Scotland that she first came across several victims of stalking.
Amanda followed her life-long dream of gaining a BSc Hons degree in Psychology and Victimology from the Open University, and undertook a crash course in Scotland’s stalking legislation.
She attended an international conference hosted by charity Action Against Stalking, where she heard the story of its founder, Ann Moulds (inset). Amanda “fell in love” with Ann’s ideology, and became determined to be a part of it.
“I wanted to help people, to be that person I could not get when I needed it,” said Amanda, 51, a University of the West of Scotland student who six months ago embarked on PhD research into stalking.
She wants to scientifically analyse why crimes like stalking and rape are under-reported Scotland, with the aim of changing societal attitudes.
She’s also determined to challenge victim-blaming, when relatives and friends make comments like: “I warned you about that guy. Why did you date him?”
Amanda’s work as a throughcare practitioner at Action Against Stalking has highlighted the prevalence of neighbour stalkers – disputes between neighbours which have gone beyond the realm.
Calling on better treatments for serial stalkers, she continued: “I do not always think punishment is the right way to go. We need treatments, therapists and therapies especially for the crime of stalking.”
Currently, victims of stalking can apply for a non-harassment order (NHO), which allows the victim to take their own legal action. Because it’s a costly and stressful process, the number of applications for NHOs is low.
Prosecutors can apply for an NHO once a stalker has been convicted. However, criminal cases take time to investigate and prosecute, leaving the victim to navigate a civil action at a particularly vulnerable time. In addition, if they do not qualify for legal aid, the cost is prohibitive.
Proposals set out by MSP Rona Mackay for the Stalking Protection (Scotland) Bill would see police allowed to appeal directly to court for a stalking protection order (SPO) when they can prove there is a risk to the victim. Breaching an SPO would be a criminal offence.
The UK Parliament’s Stalking Protection Act 2019 gives police the powers to apply for SPOs for victims in England and Wales.
Action Against Stalking and Ms Mackay insist it is imperative that victims who are stalked in Scotland have access to a similar level of protection.
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