This is one of those moments where I think to myself, Oh, God, I'd never survive a wilderness situation. I can't even make progress in Aspyr's newest addition to its Tomb Raider Remastered collection, which is breaking my heart for the second Valentine's Day in a row with its hostile modern controls.
1-3 Remastered kept making my graphically upgraded, smooth and supple Lara drown in river currents like a wet rat, or pushing her off stone ledges like she was making every 50-foot leap with her eyes shut. Those clunky controls were neither truly modern, since they responded inconsistently to my inputs, nor traditional, since the remastered collection wasn't made with tank controls as its priority. They were awkward and unsexy. Moving sluggishly through intrepid Lara's treacherous and implausible world made for an agonizing experience. So, even though I love Lara like she's the most beautiful and idiotic part of me, I eventually gave up on Aspyr's first Remastered collection.
