Seven times Usman Khawaja has been dropped by his national side, a level of rejection that would, in dating terms, have even the deludedly optimistic beginning to catch on to the hint.
Seven times now, though, since his latest recall and the start of this last romance, has the opener reached the milestone of three figures.
None, judging by a wild, bat-hurling celebration, can have meant as much as this, a first away Ashes hundred ending a ten-year wait. Only Joe Root, after his unbeaten 118 on the first day, has as many centuries since the start of 2022, and that they have now included tons in England, India and Pakistan suggests a player, at 36, belatedly enjoying the prime years of his Test career.
As Khawaja was greeted by beaming partner Alex Carey, who made an unbeaten fifty of his own, he was perhaps offered a gentle reminder to reacquaint with his stick, work, in replying to England’s 393 for eight declared, still to be done.
Both were the beneficiaries of England sloppiness late in the day, Carey dropped by Jonny Bairstow off Root in the final over with the old ball, then Khawaja bowled by an overstepping Stuart Broad making first use of the new. By close, the pair had punished those blunders to the tune of another 47 runs without loss, Australia trailing by 82 with five wickets still in hand.
Khawaja picked his moments, pulling smartly and leading the charge against Moeen Ali - who bit back with two wickets on his Test return - but his speed of accumulation, 126 not-out coming from 279 balls, offered yet more evidence of the intriguing clash of styles between these teams. Two days into this match, Root has bowled more maidens than the tourists.
But for Khawaja, England might already be sniffing a series advantage, his knock providing the resolute spine of an innings that could have crumbled after two wickets in two balls from Broad at the start of the day.
Jonny Bairstow had finished Friday speaking of his pleasure at returning from injury in time for the ‘Big Dance’ but no player buffs up their grooving shoes for this particular boogie with quite as much vigour as Broad.
The inevitability of his snaring of David Warner, for the 15th time in Tests, took nothing away from the theatre, the great shows always worth seeing again. Nor did the fact that, really, batter bore more responsibility than bowler after an ugly slash chopped onto the stumps.
From the top of his mark, Broad wound his wrist, finger pointed upwards as if spinning an imaginary plate, and urged the crowd for more. At barely half-past-eleven, at sleepier grounds it may have gone unnoticed, but not here. The tension built, Labuschagne perhaps unsettled by the wait to face his first-ball, a policeman’s absent-minded stroll across the sightscreen not, presumably, a regular part of the ceaseless fidgeter’s protracted routine. He was soon exposed as a conscript to the drama, dabbing at the fabled outswinger Broad had, weirdly, claimed patent to months ago with this very victim in mind, the edge carrying just enough to reach Bairstow’s brilliant low dive.
Officially the world’s No1 batsman back in the hutch, the true master strode to the crease. He needed pay no attention to a rancid hat-trick ball hurled down the leg-side, though being Steve Smith, he did anyway, leaving in extravagant style.
English pleasure in Root’s mastery of a flat deck might have been stunted by the knowledge that Smith’s wicket would have to be extracted from it at some point today, but in the end the 2019 series’s top run-scorer made just 16 to start this one before being pinned by Ben Stokes, the skipper turning his arm over for the first time this summer and confirming the morning as England’s by quite some way, Australia at lunch in trouble on 78 for three.
As an exhibition of captaincy, the contrast with the previous day could only have been more stark had Stokes been commanding from high on horseback. Where Pat Cummins rarely strayed from his defensive Plan A of boundary prevention, and at times deferred to Smith, Stokes simply would not let the game rest, constantly tinkering with his fields and churning through seven bowlers by lunch - or, more accurately, asking seven players to bowl, Harry Brook’s medium-pace at first-change hardly the work of a specialist.
The exception to Stokes’s restlessness came in the early afternoon, when his stubborn backing of Moeen had the spinner continuing to roll in and the straight field up despite Khawaja and Travis Head’s blossoming counter. The pair added 70 in the hour after lunch, more than Australia had scored in twice as long before it, hitting the spinner down the ground with increasing comfort until Stokes’s faith eventually brought reward, Head clipping to Zak Crawley at midwicket for 50 and Moeen’s first Test wicket in almost two years.
A second ought to have followed moments later, but Bairstow fluffed a routine gather after Cameron Green had been deceived by the kind of delivery Stokes could not shake from his mind when mulling over a replacement for Jack Leach.
An even better one was to come, ripping through the giant all-rounder’s swing to take off-stump, but having created eight wicket-taking chances, that Australia are only five-down and within striking range should be a source of English regret.
