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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle

Speaking out on stammering and finding confidence

Men talking and drinking coffee in cafe
‘If a stammerer is told to just stop when they are stuck, and inhale and breathe properly, they do not do it as the pause seems like an eternity.’ Photograph: Getty

I would like to say a huge well done to Kimi Chaddah for being brave enough to write about her experiences of becoming more open about her stammer (I used to do anything to avoid talking to people. But now I’ve stopped hiding my stammer, 20 November). I hope her journey to openness will inspire the 1% of adults who stammer to be able to maximise their own potential.

When people ask me if I’ve stammered all my life, my usual response is to say: “Not yet.” Nowadays, when faced with a difficult speaking situation I always introduce my stammer before I introduce myself. It’s a remarkably efficient way to ease away the social anxiety and discomfort for both myself as the speaker and for the listener.

Of course, it took a long time and many embarrassingly disfluent verbal interactions to be able to get to this place of linguistic levelling up. Prior to this, people would sometimes laugh at my stammer, not out of cruelty, but I think because disfluency is often seen as socially funny.

But when one introduces one’s stammer, the listener is made instantly aware that any slip-up is not a matter for levity but the consequence of a communication disorder. My disclosure has never led to a negative reaction, only to positive ones, and often to some engaging conversations.

If I had four pieces of advice to adults who stammer they would be: tell people, be who you want to be and don’t be limited by your stammer, join the British Stammering Association and attend its open days, and see a speech and language therapist. And if you are the parent of a child who stammers, seek the advice of a speech therapist as soon as the stammer appears.
Daniel Hunter
Speech and language therapist of the year, 2005, RCSLT

• I acquired a stammer in my 40s after a head injury and spent years being frustrated and embarrassed, having previously been a jobbing actor whose ability to communicate was my gift and livelihood. I spent much of my time mocking my inability to speak fluently to put others and myself at ease.

With the help of my wonderful wife and a fabulous speech therapist, I have come to accept that I am now a stammerer and will no longer try to hide or mock it. With this acceptance has come a vocal relaxation, meaning I stammer less. I am so grateful to the stammering community for their bravery in literally speaking out.
Eleanor Dennison
Oakworth, West Yorkshire

• As a former stammerer, I was “cured” when working on my breathing in one of many speech therapy sessions. If a stammerer is told to just stop when they are stuck, and inhale and breathe properly, they do not do it, as the pause seems like an eternity. But then I was told to listen to speeches from famous orators such as Winston Churchill and Barack Obama. I discovered that there were very long pauses, which were as long as it would take me to inhale and breathe. Armed with this realisation, I had the confidence just to stop, inhale, exhale, then speak. The rest is history.
Dean Swift
Livingston, West Lothian

• I had a truly awful stammer as a child. When I became a dad, I wanted to read to my children, so attended speech therapy. It works! Especially helping with plosives such as “p” and “k”, by using the same techniques that singers use. The techniques take practice, but they do work. My stammer is now barely noticeable, and I can read out loud from a script fluently, which amazed my friends at my daughter’s wedding. The techniques become second nature and, as you gain confidence, they become easier.
Tony Butler
Manchester

• Do you have a photograph you’d like to share with Guardian readers? If so, please click here to upload it. A selection will be published in our Readers’ best photographs galleries and on our Saturday letters spread in the print edition.

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