Name: Soft jocks.
Age: Probably under 40.
Appearance: Jock-like, but soft.
Is this about pants? When I Google “soft jocks”, I mostly get ads for pants. This is about men: large, imposing, muscular men.
What’s soft about them? Everything else.
Is this about erectile dysfunction? Because those are the other ads I’m seeing. This is about a new template for modern masculinity.
Says who? The online women’s magazine Bustle says the alpha male is being supplanted by a more beta incarnation. Soft jocks may have masculine physiques, but their insides are way less toxic.
Can you give me an example of a soft jock? Bustle cites the actor Paul Mescal, “who pairs his hulking thighs with a deep appreciation for sad girl music”.
That’s very helpful. Can you give me another example? Travis Kelce, Taylor Swift’s bearded, Super Bowl-winning boyfriend.
So, sensitive, non-threatening, in touch with their feminine sides, but with enormous muscles. That’s the idea.
It sounds as if the muscles are quite an important part of the package. They really help to explode those outmoded gender stereotypes.
Is that what they’re doing, though? Bustle does also suggest the possibility that the new paradigm represents false progress, “proof that male softness is only desirable if it comes with biceps the size of your head”.
I would add that it’s easy to display your feminine side when you could flatten anybody who doesn’t like it. It’s certainly true that past incarnations of the sensitive male – the so-called “wife guy”, or the “golden retriever boyfriend” – were condemned for being weedy and too eager to please.
They were the true pioneers. Yes. Unfortunately, they wore glasses and had spaghetti arms.
And, ironically, they now have giants standing on their shoulders. Giants who consider it a compliment to be referred to as “babygirl”.
That doesn’t sound like a compliment. That’s because you are judging its meaning in the context of a lot of cultural baggage associated with the word itself.
Yeah. I’m pretty sure that’s how language works. Stop thinking so hard, and just celebrate the rise of soft-centred males who can bench-press a Mini.
I guess if it’s good enough for Taylor Swift. It is.
So should all men aspire to be soft jocks? According to Bustle, one doesn’t try to be a soft jock: “One simply is.”
Do say: “I’m just back from the rodeo – anyone seen my knitting?”
Don’t say: “You’re the man of my dreams – kind, considerate, and your favourite film is Dirty Dancing. Now I just need you to do some sit-ups.”
