Seeking Zen at a silent Buddhist retreat comes with its own challenges

‘My breathing was too loud. I know this because the man next to me told me so, several times’: Tim Lott. Photograph: Suki Dhanda/The Observer

As the taxi approached the remote Lake District house where I’d be spending a week doing a silent Buddhist retreat, a thought struck me with Zen-like clarity.

You must be out of your tiny mind.