Dual Brownlow Medallist and outgoing Fremantle Dockers captain Nat Fyfe has admitted he suffered from anxiety and depression, and had a "good hard look at rock bottom" as he struggled to overcome a horror run of injuries.
Fyfe this week stepped down as captain after six seasons leading Fremantle, with the club yet to announce a replacement.
He managed just seven games last year as he battled a number of problems with his shoulder, hamstring and back.
Fyfe opened up to ABC Summer Grandstand's Ben Cameron about his mental struggles following shoulder surgery and an infection that followed, revealing he lost about 10 kilograms and shaved his head because he no longer had the capacity to reach up and tie his hair.
He admits he struggled to come to terms with the host of challenges he faced.
"It was probably the most profound experience of my adult life to be honest Ben," Fyfe said.
"What was happening on the outside which was injuries, was just a small reflection of what was going on inside.
"I had a fair bit to deal with, I had a good hard look at some of the ailments that we all face as humans in life, in terms of anxiety, depression, and a bunch of those internal emotional things, which then came out as injuries.
"I had the shoulder that failed, then I got an infection, then I did my back, then I did multiple hamstrings.
"Internally I was cooked, and I was just fighting my way through it and I just kept breaking down.
"So it was pretty grim, and I still would look in the mirror and sort of see the old me.
"I couldn't quite relate with this new person yet, and when I was in that position and I still had a fair way to go as far as trying to figure things back out and getting that kind of internal energy system going again, so it was tough."
Fyfe hopeful about the future
But Fyfe says he now has a more positive outlook and is hopeful some of the worst experiences of his career will help motivate him moving forward.
"That space was, as I said, the most profound teaching environment, if you can go through that, find resilience out of it, come out the other side, I feel like that's the juice I now need for the back end of my career," he said.
"The past accolades were getting stale, there's only so long that you can parrot that you're a two-time Brownlow Medallist from years ago, they were starting to get stale and I had no juice and motivation out of them.
"So a good hard look at rock bottom has fired me back up again."
Fyfe has been transitioning from a midfielder to a forward in recent seasons and admits it's a move he was initially reluctant to make, saying he was dragged "kicking and screaming".
"I was stuck for a while there still trying to be what I was, we all cling to our past at times, but I now feel like I'm open, I've got that sort of beginner mindset again."
Inconsistent goal kicking has been a constant problem for Fyfe since his move up forward, and he admits overthinking has made it harder to overcome his difficulties in front of goal.
"It's my ultimate strength when I get it all lined up but it can tear me apart when it doesn't quite work.
"This pre-season I'm working with a couple of different people more around connecting with that sort of inner voice and that fear, the stress, and getting a good handle on how you can put yourself in the optimal mindset and position to take the shot."
