A mum has come under fire after she complained about her mother-in-law being 'overbearing'.
She took to a popular online forum after her mother-in-law changed her new baby's nappy, leaving the mum uncomfortable. She had emphasised that she was 'very keen on consent and protecting my baby’s privacy.'
But she was soon met with backlash after posting on Mumsnet, with a number of people telling her to go to therapy.
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Remaining anonymous, she wrote: "I’m very keen on consent and protecting my baby’s privacy and prefer that only myself and my partner are the ones to change DS [dear son's] nappy (six months).
"Obviously I understand if we’re not available due to nursery eventually or if someone else is babysitting then I’m happy for someone else to do it however this has not yet been the case.
"A while ago my MIL was over and my baby started crying and rather than just give him back decided to take it upon herself to change him (I was standing right there) he continued crying throughout the change and she gave him back straight after but it annoyed me as it wasn’t her place to change him.
"I didn’t say anything at the time, DS was four months, and I was trying to be nice and friendly but starting to find her more overbearing and I’m getting close to drawing a line."
Fellow Mumsnet users flooded to reply, with nearly 400 comments stacking up. While some agreed with her, others called her paranoid.
One replied: "YABU. If you don’t trust grandparents to change baby’s nappy they shouldn’t be seeing baby. If you do, no issue."
A second added: "It's good to be aware but you do sound paranoid. They are related and you were right there watching. Did something happen to you as a child? If so, maybe you need therapy to talk through things. Or maybe you could have said, it's OK I can do that or something."
"Is your MIL actually overbearing, or are you constantly pushing back and trying to stop her spending time with the baby?" A third interjected.
"At the end of the day you are the babies mum and nothing will change that, but having positive relationships with family is important and you should be encouraging this.
"Boundaries are important too and if she is genuinely being too much then you should address that, but your OP comes across like you may be the one being a little intense and over thinking things."
Another piped up: "I would say that changing a nappy is rarely an enjoyable experience, so I'd just be grateful that MIL did it without even being asked!"
The mum later defended herself and replied: "I 100 per cent don’t think my baby is at risk but at the same time my own mum wouldn’t change a nappy unless I wasn’t there and would otherwise ask if I want her to change the baby
"Obviously for some reason consent parenting is controversial but it’s not about the baby giving consent it’s about setting standards early the same way I expect grandparents to ask my baby for a cuddle not just go to grab him even while young babies have a preference for who’s holding them and I only let people hold my baby when he wants to go to them.
"My baby also doesn’t enjoy nappy changes and I try to make them positive experience ie. i don’t just continue when he’s crying I calm him down first."
However, others agreed with her point of you.
One replied: "Your MIL should not have assumed that it was ok to change your baby's nappy. She should have said something along the lines of 'is it ok to go ahead and change him' or 'would you like me to change him for you' particularly the first time."
"I used to feel a bit like this when his full family would be round at first and act like they all had to be part of a nappy change," a second replied.
And another commented: "You should set your rules and what you expect from her. It's early days. When this happens you just say that this is how you roll. Be very thankful also and mean it. But you do you"
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