Nobody’s perfect—nor should we be. Perfection is boring. We’re all about people embracing the heck out of their ‘flaws’ and being at peace with them. But that’s easier said than done. We all have small aspects of ourselves that we’d change if we could. Our partners, on the other hand, might not want us to!
The men of the r/AskReddit online community revealed what their partners dislike about themselves, but that they genuinely find attractive. From greying and wavy hair to slightly crooked teeth and silly laughs, there are lots of things that are endearing about people, making them unique. Read on for some uplifting answers.
Bored Panda reached out to the author of the viral thread, and she was happy to answer our questions about the "overwhelming positivity" of the discussion, as well as how to accept one's imperfections. The OP preferred to remain anonymous. You'll find our full interview with her as you read on.
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We asked the author of the viral thread about her thoughts on how people can come to terms with their imperfections. According to her, it's something that slowly comes about as we grow older and (hopefully) wiser... but having a supportive partner by your side can really help boost your confidence.
"I feel like a lot of acceptance of imperfections comes with age and time. As I entered my thirties, I gained a lot more confidence in who I am and what I look like," she opened up to Bored Panda.
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"Having a supportive partner who celebrates both the good and the bad absolutely helps in this regard. I think that, for many people, the responses in this post showed us that things that are commonly considered flaws, such as a crooked smile, chubby belly, or a prominent nose, can attract the right person," the author said.
"This thread unintentionally normalized all of these things and hopefully helped some people feel good about themselves."
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We were curious how the author came up with the idea for the thread in the first place. She was kind enough to walk us through exactly how the idea for the question came about.
"My husband and I have recently restarted watching Modern Family. In an early episode, Gloria felt bad because people were teasing her for her accent and she became self-conscious. Jay patched it up by telling a story of how her voice and accent initially attracted him to her," she shared.
"That got my wheels turning, and I decided to ask the men of Reddit what they are attracted to that their wife/girlfriend might not necessarily love about themselves."
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The topic the redditor touched upon resonated very deeply with a lot of internet users. "I think people enjoyed the topic because everyone can relate to having flaws or certain traits that make us feel self-conscious," the OP told Bored Panda.
"I was impressed by the overwhelming positivity in the majority of the posts. As a woman, it was really nice to see."
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If your partner were to suddenly change some aspects of their physical appearance and behavior to be more ‘perfect,’ it would come as a complete shock. And many of these changes would be unnecessary: we love people for who they are right now, not just for their imaginary future potential.
A core aspect of loving and respecting someone is accepting them for who they are—warts and all. It’s one thing to want your partner to live a healthier life while you encourage them to pursue their dreams. It’s wanting them to be the best version of themselves. This is healthy.
It’s another thing entirely to want the other person to change their appearance and behavior almost entirely just so you can feel satisfied. This is unhealthy and suggests that there are deeper issues at work, from a desire to control everything to a lack of respect and initial attraction.
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Though most of us have probably heard about body positivity, it could be argued that it’s not the healthiest of approaches in life. Celebrating yourself all the time can be exhausting and, in some cases, it avoids tackling actual issues. Toxic positivity can be as bad as chronic negativity. Instead, body neutrality can be a better choice to lean into.
To put it simply, body neutrality is being at peace with your body. No hate. No love. Just peace. The philosophy is centered around judging oneself and others less for physical appearances and natural changes like aging. It’s more about how you feel, less about how you look, as The New York Times notes.
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WebMD points out that body positivity isn’t without its critics. According to them, it’s not realistic or healthy to love your body unconditionally, at all times. This sort of over-the-top positivity can also mask your authentic feelings about who you are, what you look like, and what your body is capable of.
If you’re constantly in awe of yourself, every single moment of the day, are you being genuine? Similarly, if all you do is focus on your ‘flaws,’ are you being realistic or overly judgmental? Body neutrality is a peaceful sort of acceptance that centers on simply existing.
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Her stretch marks and extra skin from her weight loss. Some of the larger marks are red but they look badass to me, like she fought someone or something. And the extra skin just makes her extra soft, like the parts with extra skin are some of my favourites. It's so f*****g soft.
Edit: forgot to mention she still wants to lose a bit of weight and eventually remove the loose skin, especially if she gets a breast reduction one day. Totally fine by me, it's her body, doesn't bother me. I'm gonna marry her one day anyway, hip dips, cellulite, stretch marks, extra skin, and all. She's drop dead gorgeous and nothing will change that for me. She's seriously the most beautiful thing I've ever looked at and she wants to date me??? Fine by meHer hair is going grey and I think it’s just the best. She hates the idea of getting older. I love growing older with her.My ole lady is concerned about her weighing quite a bit more than when we first got together.
To that point, her cooking is what made me fat again. So like, you made us both fat. Congratulations, we are in this together.
Happy fat.That she likes to talk a lot.. I actually enjoy listening to her talk because her voice is like something crafted from god himself
She always says "Are you even listening? I feel like I'm talking too much" and then when I recite everything she said for the past 20-30 mins she kind of blushes ?My wife talks about how she got kicked out of choir in high school bc she can’t sing. And she can’t carry a tune in a bucket to save her life. But I love hearing her sing her favorite songs. When she gets so excited that she can’t hold it back. I could listen to her sing all day.I dated a girl with a mild stutter, it was the thing she was most self conscience about. every single time she would stutter it would give me butterflies. I can’t explain why but I thought it was absolutely adorableHer thighs. She was a volleyball player and doesn’t like how big her thighs got, then they got bigger when we got pregnant. But I f*****g love them. I think they’re so sexy and they compliment everything about her. She really is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen inside and out and she will never believe me. I pray everyday that she can see herself through my eyes, just once, to truly see just how beautiful she is and how much brighter she makes the world around her.She’s put on weight. I think she looks way more sexy and voluptuous. She’s tall so - yum! Come here amazing Amazonian. Death by snu snuMy wife has coffee coloured skin..dark coffee if anything.
In her culture (China) paleness is considered desirable and healthy for women.
For me, I actually like her colour. She always worried about it but it was one of the things that attracted me to her.My wife has a white streak in her hair from a birthmark. She hates it. It was the thing that made me stare at her the day we met. Last week was the 29th anniversary of our first date.My wife has slightly crooked front teeth. She hates it and constantly says she wants to get cosmetic dentistry to fix it the moment it becomes financially feasible. I, however, love it. It's one of the things I've always loved the most about her physical appearance because it's so unique to her, and I find it so adorable.
That being said, I would also have no issues paying for her to get it fixed in a heartbeat as well, because as much as I love it, I also want her to love herself and be happy with her own physical appearance.her face. she thinks she is unattractive although she is the most beautiful woman on earthClingy. Makes me feel wanted.Her crow's feet.
I love the lines on her eyes when she smiles. It's so genuine and beautiful that I fall in love all over again.
She can't help but smile because I look like some oaf that's seen a boob for the first timeMy wife always complains that she is “dirty” or “sweaty” when I get close and I try to explain that I am extremely turned on by her scent and that sweaty lady parts send my pheromone sensors over the edgeMy wife dogs on herself so much after having two kids. I think she looks amazing, plus the little baby pooch she has meaning for me, she gave me two amazing kiddos.freckles. She is the only one in her family with freckles, she never liked them. I find her face so beautiful specially her frecklesHer hair. She has natural curly hair it turns me on. She hates it I LOVE itHer boobs it causes her back problems. I love them but for the sake of her health I wouldn't be upset if she had a breast reduction.Her height.
She's 5"10' and is self-concious. I absolutely love it (I'm the same height). She will wear heels and become 6"2 and it drives me wild. She's an absolute goddess. Tall, slim and blonde but constantly worries because of society. We have a couple of friends built similarly and they feel the same, and they shouldn't have to worry about that.My partner feels that her breasts are uneven or misaligned. Next Tuesday will be my sixth year of staring at them whenever I have the chance. Her visual issues are what worry me the most.Her sneeze. She's not like super self conscious about it but she acknowledges its a bit weird.
I think its cute. She does a normal splutter and about half a second later this little feminine "choo" that's totally not part of the sneezy chaos.
Its kinda like "haaa...spssst....choo"She’s always complaining about her butt, I think it’s amazing though.She thinks her boobs are too small but I disagree. When I tell her she has fantastic boobs it's like the light of heaven enters her eyes. God blessHer ears stick out. She covers them with her hair. But I think they are adorableHer smile, when she smiles (her real genuine smile) she sticks her teeth out. She calls it her “horse face”, but I can’t help but love how adorable she looks. Especially when she tries to hide it.Her nose. She's asian and likes my high bridged "white" nose. But I think her little round nose is adorableMy ex had literally perfect 10/10 lips, then got lip filler surgery. They got worse. Don’t mess with perfection.A slight belly bulgeHer weight. In college she was 110lbs, now she's.... more. We've had 2 kids and getting older. I think she looks better now but she doesn't believe meHer big butt, i like big buttsMy ex was 4'11" and she was super self conscious about it. I loved her height though, I really enjoyed the awkward kisses and hugs.My girlfriend has terrible eyesight and always has to wear glasses. I find them super sexyMy ex hated her “small breasts.” They were a pretty nice size… they just weren’t porn star HUGE.My ex had a big bum, which I love anyway, and she had little stretch marks around her hips and on her actual bum. She hated them, but it was the first time I’d actually ever saw them on a woman, and they drove me nuts.
I actively look for them now. Big booty for the win.Her hair. She grew up in a super white environment and anything that doesn't match traditional white woman beauty standards is hard for her to see as beautiful on herself. Hair is a big one. Meanwhile I think her hair is absolutely gorgeous, like pretty much everything else about her.Her accent when she speaks her second language.Pretty much my entire wife... she hates that part.Her calves.Her legs.
According to her, they "get in the way" and are unpleasant on aircraft, cars, and public transit. Additionally, she finds it a little difficult to get trousers to fit. Still, I adore them.
