Katie Price feared she would go to jail after overturning her car at 5am in a drink-drive crash near her home in September.
In her new Channel 4 documentary, Katie Price : Trauma and Me, the former glamour model lays bare 'hitting rock bottom' and the lead up of traumatic events that culminated in the 'nightmare' accident.
The programme starts on the day Katie, 44, is preparing for her sentencing at Crawley Magistrates Court, having previously pleaded guilty to drink-driving, without insurance and whilst disqualified.
The former glamour model's anxiety she could spend a stint behind bars is clear to see, describing waiting for the verdict as "like walking into the unknown".
"It doesn't matter how many people say you won't go to prison, you'll get punished. They're not the judge. Only the judge knows", she says.
"Until today I can't get on with the rest of my life because I don't know what's going to happen. I'm not in control of any of it.
"Carl's going and my Dad. I will be looking at them thinking 'is this going to be the last time I'll see them'."
Katie says her mum Amy, who is battling terminal lung condition Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis, told her to go to court with pyjamas and her bags packed for prison.
Refusing to give up hope, she says: "If they heavily punish me I'll deal with that. My mum is dying. Every moment is precious. Harvey it would break his heart because I see him every weekend and he wouldn't understand why he couldn't see me.
The television personality says the crash "turned her life upside down" and is well aware the crash could have had tragic consequences.
"At the end of the day I got in the car, I could have killed someone else, I could have killed myself," she says.
"I should be punished and in a way I want to be punished. The timebomb has been ticking and it's exploded now.
"Getting in the car was a terrible mistake which I'm so sorry for. I should never have done it I recognise my mental health has been shaken, the triggers are there, I need help."
Katie was sentenced to a 16 week prison sentence, suspended for 12 months and 100 hours of unpaid work in community.
The I'm A Celebrity star headed to rehab clinic The Priory to seek help for depression, anxiety and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Katie Price: Trauma And Me airs Thursday 8th September on Channel 4.
*If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch
