DEAR ABBY: My neighbor “Doris” runs our neighborhood group that has in-person meetings once a year. She didn’t have any meetings in person or even on Zoom for three years during COVID. Two weeks ago, she contacted me and asked me to come to the next meeting. I told her I didn’t want to because at the last meeting I wasn’t able to ask all the questions I wanted of city hall officials. Doris apologized several times and assured me it would not happen again.
Last week, I attended the meeting, and they had a sheriff’s deputy speak. We were told we could ask questions, so when it was my turn, I began asking questions — and Doris cut me off and censored me! I saw later that evening that she tried to call me, but I feel it would be redundant to have the same conversation with her. What do I do now that I have been burned twice by her behavior? — BEEN THERE, DONE THAT
DEAR BEEN THERE: You have two choices. Either stop attending those meetings or, because you feel Doris is too controlling, oppose her leadership, run for that position (if you have the time to devote to it) and ask your neighbors for their votes. It may be time for the “winds of change” to blow through your neighborhood.
DEAR ABBY: I have been involved with a man I met online. We texted and talked for months before we met. He told me he had a lady friend he goes fishing with. He said she was just a friend. On our first Valentine’s Day, he gave me a teddy bear that said, “I love you.” I started developing deep feelings for him, but he then informed me that he loves her.
I tried several times to walk away, but he kept pulling me back. I don’t know if he doesn’t want to hurt her or if he just loves having two women in his life. I know about her, but she doesn’t know about me. Should I contact her and let her know? What is the right thing to do? — TWO-TIMED IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR TWO-TIMED: The right thing to do is to walk away from this person — and stay away. He lied to you when he told you his fishing buddy was just a friend. Now that you know their relationship is more than that, run!
DEAR ABBY: My parents announced during their recent visit that they are planning to move here. Because of a laundry list of complaints, including them being snippy to serving staff in restaurants, my wife has decided she never wants to visit with them again. My inheritance from my parents is my only hope of being able to retire. What do I do? — CORNERED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR CORNERED: That the reason you won’t tell your parents not to move closer is the inheritance you expect to get from them is sad, not only for them, but also for you and your wife.
Explain the facts of life to your missus and make clear that you expect her to show your parents the same respect you have shown to hers. She probably won’t have to see them as often as you will, but she can’t write them off entirely because of the financial impact it will have on you. Then cross everything you have two of that at the last moment they don’t donate their money elsewhere.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in “What Every Teen Should Know.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)
