ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
Crash! Bang! Wallop! What a football match. In truth, Chelsea 4-4 Manchester City was more like a big-budget cinematic experience; a comic-book explosion of colour in driving rain, starring superheroes from across the Premier League multiverse. BAM! Not one, but two, thudding headers from centre-halves. THWACK! Erling Haaland finding a new part of his body to score with. AGH! Peter Drury and Jamie Carragher reduced to primal screams by the chaotic end to the game. POW! A Lampardian deflected goal from Rodri to surely win the match. GAH! City’s Rolls-Royce centre-backs skidding about like the pre-loved motors that were once parked behind the goal at Stamford Bridge.
