Cheers and jeers, hugs and thugs: life as a sporting mascot is anything but predictable

‘Hawka will eat your head, just don’t punch him in his.’ Mikey Cahill has seen it all during his 19 years as Hawthorn’s AFL mascot. Photograph: Scott Barbour/Getty Images

“Hawka, ya dickhead!” *THWACK* I’ve just been punched in my spongey beak by a preteen Collingwood fan. It didn’t tickle.

Yes, I’m wearing the Hawthorn FC mascot suit, dressed as Hudson “Hawka” Knights. Yes, I’m on level two of the MCG, deep in enemy territory sans minder (where did she get to?). And yes, the brown and gold are giving the Pies a touch-up. But there’s no need for this.