At first glance, Boris Johnson and Katie Price have absolutely nothing in common. Then you look at their blonde, straw-like hair, remember their tacky, complicated love lives and the children they’ve both had with many different partners.
One more thing, too. They both have a certain something - it’s not The Midas Touch, it’s more The Robinsons Touch. They’re utterly jammy.
They can be bang to rights, absolutely cornered, caught red-handed, done for, finished, game over… and they will simply shrug, grin, and emerge from the wreckage of their latest scandal utterly unscathed. Price and Johnson are The Teflon Two. Nothing ever sticks.
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There is not enough room, in a printed newspaper or on the entire internet, to list all the things Johnson has got away with in his time.
This week alone, he’s faced at least two events – trying to get the woman he was cheating on his wife with a very well paid job in Parliament, and the biggest byelection reversal in(itals) history(itals) – that would have been career-ending for anyone else.
Party Chairman Oliver Dowden resigned on the spot, because “somebody must take responsibility.” Johnson, far away from the upset, in Rwanda, took the opportunity for a little dip in his hotel pool.
Meanwhile, at Lewes Crown Court, Katie Price was avoiding jail yet again, for breaching a restraining order banning her from contacting her third ex-husband’s fiancée. Her defence was that she “misunderstood the rules”.
This latest trial comes hot on the heels of the last one, where she totalled her car while under the influence of alcohol and drugs. Presumably that was a misunderstanding too, up til the minute she was arrested she thought being behind the wheel while off your nut were the optimum driving conditions.
When walking into court to express her sincere remorse for the foul language she used in abusive texts, Price gave reporters outside a mouthful, telling one to “suck my d***.”
But while some may be shocked that she let rip like this, at least she was honest. When questioned, Boris Johnson basically always expresses the same sentiment, just in waffley posh person politics speak.
Maybe it’s just because anything to do with Johnson’s antics are exhausting at this stage, but it would be quite refreshing if he took a leaf out of Katie’s book here.
He obviously gives as much of a toss – if not less – about public opinion as she does. At least she doesn’t bother lying, and pretending otherwise.
And while it might be tempting to think that if he did actually come right out and tell the British people to stick it where the sun don’t shine, that would be the last straw, obviously we know better now. Don’t we? Sigh.
