My companions on the quest to rid our realm of an ice-breathing dragon included an elf, a skeleton, a titan wizard and a dragon barbarian.
The one thing that united our band of merry misfits was a thirst for orc blood – well, that and the butter beer and mead on tap at our inn while we waited for our epic adventure to start.
Except we weren’t in the thatched Stonehill Inn, in the northern mining town of Phandalin on the Sword Coast in the 10th century.
It was the regular Wednesday night Dungeons & Dragons game at Dice Tower Cafe & Gaming in Basingstoke, Hants, and I was getting tooled up with twin hand-axes, rapier and long-bow ready to explore the fantasy tabletop maps with my fellow role-playing cos-players.
The last time I threw the dice and cast spells was in the sixth form. But after seeing new film Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, starring Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, Sophia Lillis, Hugh Grant, and Rege-Jean Page, I was keen to play again.
It’s hard to believe that back in the 1970s when this fantasy role-playing board game was invented it caused a moral panic among parents. The wholesome kids in 1982 film ET played D&D, and 40 years later Netflix series Stranger Things brought a new generation to the game.
Leading our quest in the Dice Tower was dungeon master Jay, who explained the basic rules and helped me create my character. I had to fill out a long form to get all the numbers that would guide my journey through the game. However, this can also be done online at character creator websites such as dndbeyond.com.
Jay said: “First you choose your race, such as elf or teifling, and then your class and level. You’ve decided to be a fighter and your background is outlander.”
Using his rule book, he added all my traits, strengths and abilities. He described my character: “You are big on strength and constitution but lacking in charisma.” I laughed: “I thought this was supposed to be fantasy!”
I chose to be a proud fighter wood elf called Ginevere, but in my emerald velvet cloak, pointy ears and dodgy green wig I looked more like an evil leprechaun.
Healer elf Nimue (Ru to us mortals) helped me stick my elf ears on. Around the adventure table with me was Bones Malones (Ari) the skeleton, who carried the head of Skeletor on a stick.
Also on my team was Minsc (Sam) the 8ft tall Goliath with a falsetto voice, Nimue the flaxen-haired healer elf, Ariel (Bex) the titan wizard and the dragon barbarian Set (Ash). Every D&D dungeon master is different, and they control the storyline and characters. Jay says: “I’m all about bringing the story to life.” Which he does with great enthusiasm.
We have a choice between looking for lost sheep, hunting orcs or slaying the ice dragon, all while dodging the local sell-swords, Stone-Cold Reavers.
Minsc the Goliath voted we hunt for orcs, so our miniature board game characters set off into the foothills of the Sword Mountains on the map while us players were armed with seven dice each with a different number of sides, including one with 20 and another with 100.
The numbers we throw decide our actions or choices as the dungeon master rolls his own dice behind a screen.
While the dungeon master is in control, it’s up to the players to create the attack plans. As we entered the final battle map, we needed to use all our magical powers and weapons and work together to slay the orcs.
The dungeon master turned the game on its head and suddenly we were being attacked by the evil sheep and the ice dragon. Before long, we’d lost Bones to a savage wolf attack, and then Minsc the Goliath launched an ill-fated melee attack – but too late, and he ended up as dragon food.
But now, bevvied up on butter beer, the last of us found a sudden inner strength. Set shouted: “You get the dragon’s back legs, and I’ll attack him from the front.”
Which is how, on a rainy evening in Basingstoke, a terrifying dragon was brought to its scaly knees.
Just then I noticed the time – I had even bigger dragons to slay. “Oh no, I’ve missed the last train,” I cried.
Even a fighter elf can’t battle the South Western trains timetable.
* Join the D&D adventure every Wednesday at 5pm at dice-tower.co.uk / 01256 437051
