It’s no exaggeration to say I’ve lived on a diet of primarily beige food for the past 32 years. As soon as I left home, the four foods I’d reach for were cheese, hummus, bread and beer. Why am I recounting my lifelong crappy eating habits in a column dedicated to the topic of menopause? Buckle up …
From October last year until around March, I was bedridden for half the week. Having one “good” day – a good day being able to get out of bed to drive the kids to school – meant the following morning would be a total write-off. The day my daughter’s school rang to ask for a meeting to check if I “needed help getting her to school” coincided with the appearance of a colossal boil on my chin. The boil, it later turned out, was a hint I was arriving at high speed at the gates of menopause – a visible display of hormones in turmoil.
I’d chalked up the intense fatigue to a crap diet and the stress of writing a book while being a single parent. Little did I know that when oestrogen and progesterone levels begin to decrease, which, in my case, happened seemingly overnight, our circadian rhythms can be deeply affected, hence my crappy sleep.
I simply presumed the adage “you are what you eat” had finally come home to roost. In a sense, it had. Blood tests a while later would show that I wasn’t just hurtling into menopause but deeply anaemic as well. I’d been depriving my body of the nutrients it needed and it could no longer cope as it had when I was younger. I looked as washed up as a character from The Walking Dead – a walking pot of menopausal hummus.
“Have you thought about seeing a nutritionist?” were the words uttered by a well-meaning friend one cold February morning. A shudder juddered down my spine. I’m from a family of northerners, folks who wouldn’t dream of going to the doctor unless their leg was hanging off, so seeking help from a nutritionist, who’d obviously just tell me to eat more veg, felt akin to burning two 50 quid notes. Scrap that, make it three – I live in central London. “Nah,” I said, waving my hand as though I could smell poop nearby. “Went to see my doc last week for a blood test.”
When the results were finally in, they read like a full house at bingo. Anaemic! Zero oestrogen! Nada progesterone! As for testosterone!? Pfft, forget about it!
After Googling “I’m in menopause, HRT, vitamins, fatigue, feel insane”, I now understand why people pay actual professionals to navigate health cul-de-sacs on their behalf. After a few expensive (and quite smelly) mistakes, including a wild yam diet involving spices only available from deepest, darkest Peru and a soy protein shake schedule that was less Breaking Bad, more breaking wind, I got a grip. But even when the oestrogen-patch-progesterone-combo kicked in, providing a welcome break from anxiety, I still found myself semi-bedbound.
Having done my anaemia research, I did at least understand how the condition can leave you feeling drained. One cause can be a lack of vitamin B12, something our stomachs find increasingly difficult to break down as we age. Given my love of beige food, plus my ADHD diagnosis, which can render entire food groups off-limits (What, no carrots for a year – why? Oh, no reason), I’ve added, for the past eight weeks, a squish of B12 spray beneath my tongue to my morning routine. Would you believe the packaging is beige?
My research also suggests that women going through menopause can benefit from more vitamin C and D than when they were younger.
“Did you see a nutritionist in the end?” asked the well-meaning friend. “You appear to have brushed your hair.” A backhanded compliment I’m willing to take. I just smiled: “You’ve heard of Zooki*, right?” Anxious, she looked at me like I’d mentioned a guru she’d never heard of. “Zooki’s the best!” I went on. “I mean, I’ve never felt so good!”
*Please note, Zooki is NOT Hollywood’s latest health and wellbeing expert; Zooki is, in fact, a purveyor of liquid vitamins sold in snazzy-looking sachets. No flight to LA is required; head instead to the menopause section of QVC.
For advice from leading experts on how to navigate your menopause, alongside curated products specially designed to ease your symptoms, discover Menopause Your Way at QVC
