The Latest Breaking News from The Mary Sue

Oh Nelson.

Good for him.

Concerns about food safety are constantly on the rise. Millions of Americans lack faith in the institutions meant to protect them from food-borne illnesses.

America is grieving the loss of Alex Pretti, an intensive care nurse who was holding a camera when ICE agents brutally shot and killed him on the streets of Minneapolis, but not the MAGA dimwits. They are instead subtly celebrating the incident and spewing their own stories around it that…

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and Maleficent fame Angelina Jolie is joining the list of celebrities distancing themselves from Hollywood, as per recently emerged reports. While the primary reason behind this is “peace” and “safety”, some outlets highlight financial troubles as an additional impetus.

Wedding dress shopping as an activity alone already has you wrestling with your self-esteem. Now, imagine finally finding the gown, only for every mirror moment to come with a running commentary on your chest.

Watch while you're trapped inside.

Hooters doesn’t exactly have the classiest reputation, but boy howdy is it beloved. Affectionately called a “breastaurant” by its clientele, the massive chain—whose very branding is decidedly more on the adult side—promises a “deliciously tacky, yet unrefined” experience. This lightheaded slogan, however, hasn’t delivered fun for everyone.

If there’s one thing few can resist, it’s a salacious cheating story.

This week, the internet dusted off a forgotten JD Vance clip from CNN, back when he was just a senator. A year later, it still plays like an unintentional audition tape for hypocrisy. But we’re only now that realizing it was always this obvious.

Kanye West is asking for forgiveness from his fans after years of erratic behaviour, including anti-Semitic conduct in a newly released Wall Street Journal ad. The ad contains a long letter in which West explains his situation, attributing it to a car accident 25 years ago that broke his jaw…