Get all your news in one place.
100’s of premium titles.
One app.
Start reading
We Got This Covered
We Got This Covered
David James

Zohran Mamdani dazzles Donald Trump with fake front pages, lovestruck president putty in his hands

Nobody should be even slightly surprised that Zohran Mamdani can effortlessly charm the pants off Donald Trump. Mamdani has spent the last year selling elderly New Yorkers on his vision of the future, so for him, Trump was just another old geezer nostalgic for 1980s Manhattan.

On top of that, the two can unite over their common enemy in establishment Democrats. Despite Mamdani being the most exciting thing to happen to the party in years, the likes of Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi only praise him (if they mention him at all) through gritted teeth.

Plus there’s the simple fact that Trump likes winners, and if they’re good-looking, charismatic, and wear a suit well, so much the better. Their first meeting saw a bromance develop on the spot, and Mamdani has just repeated the feat.

The key to Trump’s heart is flattery, and it’s impossible to be too obvious about how you’re doing it. And so, with Mamdani after $21 billion in federal grants that only Trump could approve, he knocked up some fake newspaper front pages praising Trump for having agreed to the deal, saying:

“TRUMP TO CITY: LET’S BUILD. Backs new era of housing. Trump delivers 12,000+ homes, most since 1973.”

Literally anyone else would have rolled their eyes at this obvious ploy, but Trump beamed like a kid unwrapping a new bicycle at Christmas. And why shouldn’t he? Being praised for building things in New York City is like a shot of dopamine straight to his cerebral cortex, activating neurons that haven’t pinged like that since the mid 90s.

“The president was very enthusiastic”

Joe Calvello, Mamdani’s press secretary, said their team had crafted the plan after Trump told Mamdani during their first White House meeting that he should “come back with big ideas to build big things together in New York City.”

“The mayor took him up on this invitation and came to D.C. today to do just that”, pointing out that this would be “the biggest federal investment in housing” in the past five decades and that “The president was very enthusiastic about this idea.” I mean, hey, let Trump take credit for it so long as the affordable houses are built!

And so, with Trump purring like a kitten at the Democratic Socialist tickling his belly, Mamdani pressed his advantage, asking Trump if he’d release Elmina Aghayeva, a Columbia University student detained by ICE. Trump practically freed her on the spot. Anything for Mamdani-senpai…

Sign up to read this article
Read news from 100’s of titles, curated specifically for you.
Already a member? Sign in here
Related Stories
Top stories on inkl right now
One subscription that gives you access to news from hundreds of sites
Already a member? Sign in here
Our Picks
Fourteen days free
Download the app
One app. One membership.
100+ trusted global sources.