The prosecution: Carol
Barry vapes anywhere and everywhere. It’s rude, embarrassing and makes me cough
I think vaping is antisocial but my partner, Barry, does it all the time in public. I think it’s quite an imposition, because it affects everyone around us, but he doesn’t seem to care. He will vape anywhere: in restaurants and bars, and on country walks. I’m 52 and I used to smoke but don’t any more. Barry is 55. We’ve been together for five years.
I hate the acrid smell of vape pens. I have seen him accidentally blow smoke in children’s faces at football matches. But Barry would rather wait to be asked not to vape than seek permission. He’s been asked to stop by the stadium stewards, and once by our friends on a bus. It’s embarrassing.
Another time, in a pub, he was trying to vape without being seen. The waiter came over and said something like: “If I don’t see you, it’s fine.” Barry and I interpreted that very differently. I took it to mean: when I see you, the vaping has to stop. But Barry saw it as a green light to just go for it.
I also think he’s addicted. He doesn’t even seem to realise that he’s constantly vaping. When we first got together, it didn’t bother me. You fall in love and initially accept everything about the other person, but gradually it began to irritate me.
We don’t know the long-term effects. Barry says it’s good for his health, as he used to smoke cigarettes, but what about the health of everyone around him? I also noticed that I had a constant cough this winter, which went away when I didn’t see Barry for a while. The next time we saw each other, he was vaping beside me and the cough came back. He has agreed to no longer vape next to me, which I’m grateful for.
We are set to move in together this month as the last of our children – we both have grown-up kids from previous relationships – recently left for university. But Barry works from home all day, whereas I go into an office. It could really bother me if I come back and smell the vapours in the house, even if he only vapes when I’m away. How’s that going to work? It could be tricky.
The defence: Barry
Vaping has saved my life. I try to do it politely but I’m not giving it up
I started smoking in sixth form, back in 1984, when I was turning 17. And I finally gave up when I was 40 and getting into marathon running. I had one slip-up and reverted to smoking temporarily, but then vaping arrived. It saved my life, really. I used to smoke 15 roll-ups a day, but vaping has fewer health risks.
Vaping is actually not banned in pubs in the UK – it’s down to each landlord to decide. That time Carol and I were debating this, I called the waiter over to ask if I was allowed to vape. He said something like: “Well, if I don’t notice, don’t worry about it.” I took that as the fella turning a blind eye, but Carol thought I was still breaking the rules by vaping there.
To be polite, I’ll blow the vapour down towards the ground when I’m in a pub and blow it upwards, away from neighbours, at football matches. The thing with that, though, is it’s a dead giveaway. The bloody stewards always come over and tell me off. I’m not rude about it, and admit that the wind could blow the smoke into someone’s face.
Carol thinks there are three of us in this relationship: me, her and the vape. But I don’t agree with her that the vape is bad. I can run 5km in 20 minutes, or go on the exercise bike for 30 minutes. That’s great for a 55-year-old. I also love how I can vape in bed and at work.
You have to go outside to smoke cigarettes in public, and indoors they are a fire risk – but you can vape anywhere. It’s also cheap. I spend about £10 a week on e-liquids and, luckily, there’s a 24-hour shop near me. I love the pineapple and berry flavours best. I don’t think I’m addicted, and I’d compare my habit to Carol being on her phone all the time, although she won’t agree with that.
When Carol and I move in together it will be fine. I won’t vape in her presence but I will vape while I work, when she’s not around. I love vaping with a cup of coffee and some jazz.
And because the smell doesn’t linger, if she comes in, I’m sure she won’t notice. I’ll get away with it.
The jury of Guardian readers
Should Barry quit vaping?
Barry is exhibiting all the traits of an inconsiderate child. Who on earth wants to walk through a cloud of synthetic, sickly sweet, candy-floss/apple/cherry bakewell fog? And why should Carol have to endure this in their home? You gave up smoking once Barry, now do it again with vaping.
Stuart, 52
Vaping is banned on public transport and in lots of places (including pubs) for a reason. To do it regardless, and then wait to be caught, is selfish. However, Carol should let up on the country walks as that’s not a big deal.
Kelly, 35
If Barry is being shouted at by stewards at football games, he knows he is in the wrong. Carol is obviously embarrassed by his behaviour, which does show a lack of consideration for those around him.
Mark, 43
I’m quite impressed Barry can run 5K in 20 minutes – is he vaping while doing it?! I think he should be allowed to do what he likes with his own lungs. Carol should try to let him be free.
Anita, 70
One thing Carol is too kind to mention is that vaping looks so lame. It is sad for her to be going out with a vaper. Barry should think about keeping his sex appeal. Smoking may be worse for you than vaping, but at least it looks a bit cooler.
Beatrice, 31
Now you be the judge
In our online poll below, tell us: should Barry stop vaping?
Last week’s result
We asked whether Sade should lay off the lip balm, because it annoys her boyfriend Damilola.
23% of you said yes – Sade is guilty
77% of you said no – Sade is not guilty
