Women around the world are choosing to have fewer kids, with many deciding to remain completely child-free. And while it’s a personal choice, research from the UK charity Population Matters reveals that over half of 18-35 year-old women who have opted not to have children feel judged for their decision.
It’s something this Redditor recently went through with her own family. After telling her sisters—all of whom have kids—that she didn’t plan to become a mom, they took it personally. So much so, that they uninvited her from Christmas and blocked her on social media, leaving her unsure of what to do next. Read on for the full story.
The woman chose not to have kids, partly because of her family’s history of disabilities
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This decision offended her sisters, who now don’t want to speak with her
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Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual image)
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Not having kids is often perceived as morally wrong
While being child-free is slowly becoming less of a taboo, the stigma still lingers, as this Reddit story and research show. In fact, a study published in Sex Roles: A Journal of Research revealed that choosing not to have children isn’t just judged lightly—it’s often seen as morally wrong.
The study surveyed 197 undergraduate students from a large urban university in the United States. Participants were asked to evaluate a married man or woman who either chose to have no children or two children. They were then invited to share their views on the person’s happiness and their emotional response to the decision.
Those who were child-free were perceived as far less “psychologically fulfilled” than those with children, the results concluded. The study noted that “child-free targets” triggered significantly greater feelings of moral outrage, including anger, disapproval, and even disgust.
“What’s remarkable about our findings is the moral outrage participants reported feeling toward a stranger who decided to not have children,” said Ashburn-Nardo, Vice Provost for Diversity, Equity and Inclusion at Drexel University and author of the study. “Our data suggests that not having children is seen not only as atypical, or surprising, but also as morally wrong.”
Ashburn-Nardo’s research, published in 2017, raised concerns that harsh judgment of child-free individuals might result in workplace or healthcare discrimination. Now, in 2024, these warnings feel even more relevant, especially in countries like the U.S., where the overturn of Roe v. Wade has sparked heated debates. With reports of women losing their lives due to lack of abortion care, there’s growing anxiety about how society treats those who choose not to have children—and what this means for their future.
Image credits: Engin Akyurt (not the actual image)
Many commenters supported the woman and believed it was a responsible choice
Still, some suggested she could have shared the news with her sisters more delicately
