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Louise Thomas
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After less than a year of marriage, one couple may be on the cusp of divorce if the husband doesn’t clean up his act – literally.
Frustrated and defeated, the 28-year-old wife took to Reddit’s popular confession forum, Am I The A**hole, questioning whether she was in the wrong for wanting to end her marriage. She started by explaining how she and her husband had been together for a little over four years.
Until the moment they said, “I do,” her husband was impeccably clean. At first, the Redditor saw no issues with her partner or living with him. Unfortunately, his habits quickly deterriated when the status of their relationship changed.
“After we got married, my husband stopped cleaning,” she admitted. “He wouldn’t pick up after himself, wouldn’t do his agreed-upon chores, and suddenly became a slob. It was like he’s been intentionally dirtying things up.”
A month into their marriage, the Reddit user halted her housework. She didn’t want her husband to assume she was responsible for all the cleaning, so she stopped doing it. But now, their relationship is far from what it used to be or should be – a partnership.
“I’m rarely home due to the mess. I part-time live with my sister at this point, and he doesn’t even care,” she admitted. “I come home only to sleep at night and sometimes I don’t even come home at all.”
At this point, the original poster has experienced multiple mental breakdowns, stressing about her relationship and the ghost of who her husband once was. If her partner isn’t going to return to his old character, she no longer wants to be married to him.
She confessed: “I wanted to get married but this is not the man I married. I would much rather be home where I belong, but I’m not a maid.”
For any readers curious as to her husband’s level of uncleanliness, the Reddit writer gave a detailed list. She said he leaves wet food in the sink, “puddles of mystery substances”, and garbage littered everywhere. The original poster compared him to a toddler.
“It’s exactly like mommy isn’t cleaning up, so he’s tornadoing through our house and not caring,” she remarked.
At her wit’s end, the Redditor finally gave her husband an ultimatum. She told him if he didn’t start cleaning up after himself, she’d divorce him immediately. He didn’t take the demand well – the opposite. Instead, the Reddit user’s husband called her an “a**hole.”
She admitted: “He told me that cleaning is no longer his job.”
“I nearly popped a f***ing blood vessel. We did not decide on that. He’s telling me that I’m throwing everything away over pride and that all new marriages go through this transition,” the Reddit user wrote. “He told his mom, and she called me not too long ago and told me that I needed to calm down and reconcile. I really love my MIL and she’s one of the most level-headed people I know, hence the reason I’m writing this post.”
The Redditor’s respect for her mother-in-law made her question her reaction to her husband’s response. She thought her consideration of divorce might be too harsh. However, after having time to reflect, the Reddit user doesn’t think she’s overreacting at all.
“He fooled me for four years and marriage is not trapping me,” the original poster proclaimed. And many Reddit readers agreed.
Thousands of passionate viewers took to the comments section of her post, arguing the Redditor was valid for wanting a divorce.
One supporter said: “Your husband’s behavior is completely unacceptable. It’s one thing to have different cleaning standards, but it’s another entirely to actively refuse to contribute to a shared living space. The level of filth you’re describing is not just messy; it’s unsanitary and disrespectful.”
“It makes me think he’s freaking out about being married and driving you to leave so he doesn’t look like the bad guy,” a second person guessed.
A blunt reader suggested: “Walk away now. Think of how awful it will be if you decide to have children. Find someone who will respect you.”
“Stop wasting your time. You don’t have to prove anything to your MIL, her opinion doesn’t matter. Her son can go be a lazy bum at her house,” a harsh individual remarked.
