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Phoebe Bowden 

Widow of Afghanistan veteran tells royal commission the army rebuffed her calls for help dealing with husband's aggression

The widow said she felt abandoned as she struggled to cope with her husband's aggression. (ADF file photo: Corporal Hamish Paterson)

The wife of an Afghanistan war veteran has told how she repeatedly appealed to the army for help in dealing with her husband's aggressive behaviour following his discharge, only to be told: "He's not our problem, he's yours." 

The woman, whose identity is protected, was giving evidence to the Royal Commission into Defence and Veteran Suicide in Sydney.

She described how she felt abandoned and alone as she battled to cope with her husband's aggressive outbursts.

"I didn't know what to do, I still struggle to this day," she said. 

Counsel assisting Gabriella Rubagotti asked: "Did anyone from the army come out to assist you, when your husband experienced aggression?"

"The padre would just come and pick him up and take him away," the woman replied.

Ms Rubagotti: "What did the army tell you about contacting civilian police?"

Witness: "It's best if I just contact the padre to pick him up."

Following her husband's death from the effects of alcoholism, the woman said it took seven months for her two children to gain access to a counselling service through the Department of Veterans Affairs.

The commission heard there was an "unacceptably high" backlog of claims at the Department of Veterans Affairs.

As of June last year,  there were 56,663 outstanding claims, more than double the number compared with two years earlier. 

'No apology' for gay veteran 

Yvonne Sillett said her request for an apology from Defence was denied.  (Supplied.)

The commission also heard from Yvonne Sillett, who gave evidence that her military career was cut short when she was stripped of her top-secret security clearance and driven out of the army in 1988 because she was gay.

After a decade of service, including in the Signal Corps, she described how she was interrogated about her sexuality, with the army suggesting it made her prone to blackmail.

"The sergeant then said words to the effect, 'Let's stop beating around the bush, we have reason to believe that you are homosexual'," Yvonne Sillett recalls.

"At this point, I was shocked and I felt that I was losing everything right before my eyes, everything that I've worked so hard for, for nearly 10 years and my childhood dream."

In 2016, Ms Sillett asked for an apology through the defence ombudsman, but her request was denied, she told the commission,  because it was not deemed to be "serious bullying".

Call for more people to come forward

Commissioners Peggy Brown, Jamebs Douglas QC and Nick Kaldas have received more than 1,100 written submissions, and more than 250 applications for private sessions.

Despite the high the number of submissions from veterans, and family of those who have taken their lives, commissioner Kaldas made an appeal for more people to come forward.

"There may be some groups who are reluctant to engage with the royal commission, who may think this inquiry is not for them," he said.

"This royal commission is for anyone who can help us to identify the systemic issues, which are contributing to the current rates of suicide.

"We want to hear from you, please don't think someone else is better qualified to speak to us."

Hearings will resume on Tuesday. 

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