Kalyn Ponga admits he was "a bit of a ratbag," whose shoulders weren't quite ready to carry a city desperate to rekindle an era when the Newcastle Knights were top of the league and Silverchair were top of the charts.
There came a point the mercurial fullback had to look at himself in the mirror and ask: "who do I want to be?"
Now comes his crowning moment, with Ponga on the verge of leading the Knights into a grand final - just a year after they finished with the wooden spoon - against the Sydney Roosters at Accor Stadium on Sunday night.
The mere thought of reaching the decider was enough to bring Ponga to tears. Make no mistake, his shoulders are now ready to carry the dreams of a city onto the game's biggest stage.
"I probably didn't understand the position that I was in when I was 20, you know? Probably even until I was about 24, I didn't really understand the responsibility that I have. Not that I was scared of it or anything, I just didn't understand it," Ponga said.
"Now that I'm older, I've been here for so long, I know what it means to so many people, it's definitely a responsibility that I enjoy, and I don't see it as a burden. I enjoy having the responsibility of making people's day. So now? I'm pretty proud of it.
"I got myself in some trouble a couple of years ago, and I feel like that was probably a moment I had to look at myself. I just had to decide, who do I want to be?
"I feel like, since then, I've just tried to grow and tried to get better. This year with the addition of a good culture and good players and all that around me, it's just allowed me to excel."
Ponga heads into Sunday's grand final playing as well as ever, which says something given the Newcastle fullback stormed to a Dally M Medal in 2023 just months after a series of concussions threatened to derail his career.
Paul Harragon - the man who led the Knights to their maiden title in 1997 - figures Ponga is too good of a player to finish his career without a premiership. When Newcastle fell to the wooden spoon last year - their fifth in 20 years - many feared that would be the reality.
So what if you had told Ponga then, that in 12 months' time, he would be preparing to play on the first Sunday in October?
"Honestly, after last year, I would've said it's going to take a lot of hard work. It would've been tough to agree," Ponga said.
"It's funny what a good culture can do, and what a good front office can do. The addition of some great players has helped so much, and if you had told me all those things were going to happen, I probably would've said, 'Yeah, we've definitely got a shot then.' But there was so much uncertainty a year ago."
Uncertainty had seemingly followed Ponga from the moment he arrived in Newcastle.
There has been no shortage of suitors chasing Ponga's signature. Outsiders have demanded instant results from the club's highest-paid player and have even mistaken a laid-back nature for a lack of desire. But the 28-year-old, who has committed to the club until the end of 2030, has put those questions to bed.
You could see it the moment Ponga ran towards his teammates after a season-opening win in Las Vegas. That photo has been plastered on the walls of Newcastle's change rooms all year, and it will be unfurled again in Sydney. This is a leader desperate to win.
And without him? The Knights wouldn't be playing in a grand final. Butchers wouldn't be selling red and blue sausages. Houses and cafes wouldn't be painted red and blue.
"Everyone has sort of questioned him as a leader and his commitment to this club over the last couple of years and I don't think that was fair on him," Knights back-rower Dylan Lucas said.
"He's always carried himself like this around the club and he's always been a great leader for the club. I'm just glad that everyone else is seeing it now, and now that we're getting the results everyone else is seeing what he is and what he means to this group. We've always known that, so I'm stoked for him.
"For him to be able to commit to the club on his terms [earlier contract deal] and be able to do what we've done this year, so happy for 'K'. He works so hard and the confidence that he puts into this group, just having him in the sheds before he goes onto the field, is just second to none."
So how will Ponga be feeling inside the change rooms, moments before he leads the Knights onto the park for their first grand final in 25 years?
"I'm always pretty nervous. I'll probably be shitting myself, to be honest," Ponga grinned.
"Just be present, that's the main thing. I feel like there's no feat too big for us at the moment. We've overcome a lot of adversity and challenges this year, so just be present throughout the whole game, and go after it."
