What makes a good wedding these days? I say flirting and chaos, but not three days in a French castle

‘These days – even for non-celebrities – weddings are often big, flashy affairs, perhaps in exotic destinations, sometimes over several days.’ Photograph: wundervisuals/Getty Images

Am I allowed to start a column about weddings by saying I don’t know exactly what I think about weddings and marriage in general? Well let’s see.

One thing I do know: I really like attending weddings. I love to go as a valued guest, to see close friends in love and watch dads I have known for many years gruffly and fearfully breach the dancefloor. But I also love to go as a totally minor guest (the better for people-watching) and collect anecdotes about who, from the various overlapping families, hates who. People will just tell you these things, especially if your presence is quite random. I like to see the freshly single sporting their revenge dresses and haircuts and physiques. I like to witness and partake in the abundance of flirting. I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad time at a wedding.