Vanessa Feltz's ex partner Ben Ofoedu has addressed the breakdown of his relationship for the first time after admitting he cheated. The This Morning regular announced her 16-year relationship with Ben had come to an end last week due to him being unfaithful.
The 60-year-old TV star addressed her and Ben's split in a video message shared on Instagram, where she told her followers that she was "shocked" and "incredibly sad". Vanessa revealed that the trust had been broken in her relationship with Ben, who shot to fame as one half of the dance duo Phats &Small in 1998 with the massive hit Turn Around.
Now the singer, 50, has opened up about his infidelity for the first time in an exclusive interview with The Mirror. Ben has now admitted that he betrayed Vanessa's trust for a second time after she forgave him for cheating at the start of their relationship.
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Ben told the Mirror how fiancée Vanessa forgave him after he had sex three times with an older woman but he insisted that the affair in Ibiza was “just sex – and a chore”.
But he then admitted that his relationship was finally over when he later 'sexted' one woman and 'flirted' with another.
“I was wrong ...I betrayed the love of my life," he said.
"I’ve broken her trust. She gave me another chance. I’ve gone and destroyed that.”
Ben admitted that the first woman was an Instagram follower who he grew close to in 2022, who had sent him nude photos. He then said that he flirted inappropriately at a Butlin’s gig in Skegness, Linconshire, last December.
Vanessa, who turns 61 next week, has now reportedly kicked Ben out of their north London home and is now blocking his calls.
“So many people have been hurt, not just Vanessa. I was so close to her grandchildren, her daughters, their husbands. We’re a close knit family," Ben said.
“My family have been appalled by it as well. There’s been a lot of pain."
Elsewhere in the interview Vanessa Feltz's former fiance claimed he cheated on the TV star due to the fact she wouldn't marry him. Ben said he had sex with the older woman in Ibiza while TalkTV presenter Vanessa was at home because he felt so insecure about his fiancée's reluctance to walk down the aisle.
“My last conversation with Vanessa was me saying how wonderful she was, how she was the love of my life and saying how much I loved her and that I’m so, so sorry it’s happened. ‘Please find it in your heart to forgive me’. Those were the last words I said," Ben admitted.
“Then she blocked me on her phone, on social media and never answered my emails. I started off by sending her an email every day saying how sorry I was. She hasn’t responded. It’s been a bit scorched earth really.”
Ben reminisced over eight years to pinpoint the start of his troubles, saying he met the woman while touring with Phats and Small.
He explains: “I met her on the gig scene. She was the same age as Vanessa, possibly older. She took a shine to me, said lots of nice things.
“Over a short period of time we had sex three times. It was purely sexual, there were no feelings involved. It felt like a chore. I just fell back into it with her to keep her sweet and everything under wraps.”
Ben says the woman, who was involved in the music scene and lived in Ibiza, wanted to continue the relationship – but he didn’t.
She then contacted Vanessa eight months later to unveil the truth. Ben said: “I stopped it and the person hated that and kept on at me. Then she contacted Vanessa. We had to deal with it. No one knew, but I moved out for a little while. We worked it out. She forgave me. It took her a lot to do that. I knew how hurt she was. I felt absolutely terrible.”
The couple spent years rebuilding their trust and to the public eye they seemed the perfect couple. But last year, as he dealt with the death of his beloved brother Roy, Ben turned to drink and began pulling away from Vanessa.
In the spring he struck up an 'initially innocent' friendship with a fan over social media.
But it turned into more, leading to suggestive messages and nude pictures. There were nine months of messaging up to three times a week. Vanessa caught sight of them on Christmas Day while Ben was in panto in Southsea, Hants.
Ben says: “Vanessa saw the messages. I was sex texting somebody. It was the last straw. It’s well documented that Vanessa’s been hurt before in marriage, by infidelity, and she couldn’t take any more.
“The sexting came about from a woman that was following me on Instagram. She started complimenting me and we built a friendship.
“We’d message once a week, then twice, three times a week, then a nude. I never sent one back. She said ‘Oops, sorry’. I should have blocked her but I didn’t.
“A week later another one came through. Then we’d sent flirty messages back and forth. When you’re in a relationship you shouldn’t be talking to someone who your other half doesn’t know about. I can’t justify it, I knew I was in the wrong.
He added: “I felt guilty but it was a light-hearted relief and distraction which turned into a monster and destroyed my life.”
Detailing Vanessa’s reaction, he said: “She was shocked and hurt. She said she felt betrayed. She was going ‘How could you? Why would you? After what we’ve been through’.
“I never had any intention of meeting the woman from Instagram. She came to one of my gigs but we never met. I initially made out I was sexting an ex – the first thing that came to mind. Vanessa was horrified.
“Then on the phone she made me tell her the truth. I told her it was a random. It was so embarrassing. I was ashamed that it was a random person. Someone who didn’t matter took down everything that we’d built over those years.”
Vanessa had more cause for concern when a woman at one of Ben’s gigs messaged her about their flirting.
Ben goes on: “The truth had been broken again... she got the message from the Butlin’s girl.
“Even though I didn’t do anything, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Vanessa got a text saying ‘Ben said this to me, something sexually suggestive, but he didn’t do anything’. I can’t recall saying anything. I was annoyed about it. I knew I was innocent. But it didn’t go down well.”
It was the last straw for Vanessa – whose ex-husband Michael Kurer, a surgeon, also cheated on her. Vanessa then told Ben to move out of their £3.5 million home.
With a sigh, he tells the Mirror: “I don’t know why I did it.
“Someone will tell me one day. I’m still processing it. It’s still fresh. I should have got some help after the first dalliance. I knew there was an insecurity. But I papered over the cracks and if you don’t tackle something it reared its head. I cheated because I was insecure. The girl in Ibiza said things like ‘You’re such a great guy. I don’t know why you’re not married. Who wouldn’t want to marry you?’
“That, coupled with alcohol... it was a volatile situation.
“The trust was damaged and then the sexting, plus messages from people saying I’ve been doing this and that, it’s a recipe for disaster.”
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