Bill Maher used Friday’s Real Time to talk about President Donald Trump walking Chinese President Xi Jinping through White House construction work. Maher said the visit included a personal tour of upgrades rather than a typical state sit-down.
Maher listed the stops he said Trump made a point of showing. Those included an improved place where the limo drops people off, a new helipad, the ballroom, and the driveway. Maher said China “builds like entire cities in a week,” then contrasted that with Trump pointing at the driveway.
Maher put the comparison in cooking terms. “It’s like showing Gordon Ramsay how to reheat pizza,” Maher said. He also said Trump thinks Xi “could give a F–k about being his friend.”
Maher tied White House upgrades to talk of Iran and a planned arch
Maher said the whole tour felt personal. He said Trump “did everything he could to show him around” and added, “Really, I’m not making this up.”
Trump took Xi on a tour of his projects. Xi builds entire cities in a week, and Trump shows off his helipad? It's like showing Gordon Ramsey how you can reheat pizza. pic.twitter.com/EDGHthY1HH
— Bill Maher (@billmaher) September 26, 2026
Maher then moved from the buildings to what he described as a second habit of the administration. He said officials seemed busy redecorating at the same time they were making threats to annihilate Iran.
“It just seems like this administration is very into redecorating. Redecorating and annihilating! I’ve said it before, it’s the most macho and the gayest administration ever,” Maher said.
Maher shifted into a Trump impression about a giant arch. He said the newest decorating push was Trump demanding one at once. “We need an arch. Yesterday. F–k, all the cities in the world have an arch,” Maher said in that voice.
The impression continued with Trump complaining that the country looked bad without one and that Joe Biden had left America “archless for years.” Maher had Trump call Xi understanding and willing to accept that going without an arch was “criminal.” Trump has also lashed out at groups that opposed his projects, such as when he accused them of compromising national security over his ballroom construction.
Maher then joked that Trump was an “arch-criminal,” pointing at past legal trouble. He told the cheering crowd, “I kid. The former president has a history of critiquing his predecessors’ upkeep of the White House, such as when he called it a dump and pointed fingers at past presidents. It’s always with love, everybody.”
Maher closed the bit by naming two words he said define the agenda. “That is our agenda here in America. Arch. Annihilate,” he said.
