Northern Ireland goalkeeper Trevor Carson has opened up on the gambling addiction that left him 'hitting rock bottom'.
Carson has been almost eight years off gambling but knows even one more bet would see him descend down a spiral of misery and despair.
He remembers the date he attempted to win back his life as if it was yesterday. He even knows what night of the week it was – a Tuesday.
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A night where the St Mirren keeper walked through the doors of a non-descript hall in Gloucester, sat down with a dozen strangers and made the greatest save of his life. A night where he saved himself from the hell of a gambling addiction that had run out of control and destroyed everything around him.
Seven and a half years on the 35-year-old Northern Ireland international still has an itch and believes he always will have. But it’s one he knows he can never scratch. Carson told Record Sport : “I am almost eight years off gambling but I know I’m only one bet away from starting again. They say you’re an addict for life and that’s true.
"I couldn’t just do a bet on the Grand National for example. That would be me. If I did that one bet it would be spiralling out of control again.”
The Saints No.1 doesn’t shout from the rooftops about an addiction that cost him his marriage, his self-esteem and almost his career. He is not evangelical about the dangers of gambling but he is more than willing to put his head above the parapet to use his experiences as a way of trying to steer young players, in particular, down a different route.
Carson added: “I don’t preach to the boys at St Mirren because I don’t like when people do that to me. I hate it. If someone throws it in your face it isn’t something I like.
“I don’t want to say to someone who is having a bet that they shouldn’t do it. But I’ve been off gambling for eight years and I’ve been in dressing rooms and I’ve seen some red flags with some boys. I’ve then spoken to them about it.
“I don’t speak to them about their situation but I talk about my own issues and where it took me. I hope they would take what I said on board and take it as a warning after what happened to me because of gambling.”
He nearly lost everything, he admits, and in an earlier interview Carson revealed the moment he hit rock bottom – when he gambled his young daughter’s birthday present money a week before he made the life-changing decision to seek help.
Carson, who was playing for Cheltenham at the time and living in neighbouring Gloucester, said: “It was my daughter’s birthday on November 4 and she is up in Newcastle and I was going to see her. At the time I had gambled so much money that I think I had £200 to my name.
"That £200 was enough for me – petrol up to Newcastle, take my daughter out, get her a little present, take her for something to eat and petrol back down. The rest of the month would look after itself.
“I had managed to convince myself that I could make that £200 into £1000 – that is the gambler’s mindset – I could get her a better present and take her to a nicer restaurant.
“So I went into the bookies, lost the £200. Luckily I was able to go to my grandad, which I did on many occasions, and made up a lie about needing money for this and that, which as a gambling addict you do. You lie and you deceive.
“But for me, I just never forget getting in the car and thinking, ‘This can’t go on’. Going to Gamblers Anonymous saved me. I didn’t even contact the PFA, I remember Googling, and I went to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting for the first time in my life.
“I went to a meeting with 12 ordinary people in Gloucester on a Tuesday night and I sat and listened to their stories. That night changed my life. I had hit rock bottom, my marriage had broken down and I was spending all my money on gambling.
“I made a lot of bad decisions, my daughter had moved back to Newcastle with her mum and I had a lot of time on my hands. Personally I didn’t need anyone to push me or force me to go. I took the decision and I knew I needed help. It was the best decision I ever made.”
Carson believes the PFA in England should be doing far more to combat gambling addiction – and while he’s playing north of the border the Northern Irishman is more than willing to help the Scottish players’ union.
He added: “If someone came to me and asked for advice I would tell them my story and where gambling can take you. It is horrible.
“I know some people can have a bet once a month and they have that discipline but I didn’t. I had an addiction. Of course it’s rife in football as we have so much time on our hands. You have young guys on their own with disposable income and the temptation is there.
“I have spoken to the PFA in England and they need to do more. Yes, you get leaflets around the training ground but I think they need to come in and educate people about what it is like.
“It isn’t just about the gambling, they need to teach people how to use their money, spend it wisely and invest it. You have teenagers in England on silly money. It’s above my station but I think they should look at it. I have helped a few boys in the Northern Ireland international team. Kyle Lafferty and I helped each other.”
In a sport that walks hand in hand with betting companies through sponsorship partnerships, Carson is confronted with his demons every day in life.
He said: “It’s everywhere you look now. I would love to do something for PFA Scotland and tell my story to youth teams in the country.”
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