Home is…
New York City.
Where do you stay when in London?
Usually the Rosewood in Holborn. It’s delightfully out of the way and I love the big courtyard.
Most memorable meal you’ve had?
I was once at a Chinese restaurant and the man at the next table got down on one knee and proposed to his girlfriend. The whole restaurant stopped and applauded, but when she said no, no one knew what to do. It was the most mortifying meal I’ve ever had.
What was your first memory of London?
I went on a school trip from my little primary school in Scotland. I leant against a railing that had just been painted and got paint all over my trousers. I had to run downstairs in just my cagoule — that’s my first memory of London, having no trousers on. It wouldn’t be the last time either.
Where would you go for a night out?
In the Eighties and Nineties I used to love Popstarz on Charing Cross Road. And I used to go to DTPM, I was a bit of a raver in my 30s. Now if I want to go dancing I go to Duckie, which used to be at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern but now moves around. It’s such great energy.
Who do you call to have fun?
Susie Gorgeous and Andrew St Clair. My oldest besties and Nineties clubby friends.
Tube, cab or walk?
I love walking. It helps me get to grips with the city.
Best thing a cabbie has ever said to you?
‘I had that Alan Cumming in here last week,’ as he thought I looked like him. Usually when people say, ‘You look like Alan Cumming,’ I say, ‘I get that all the time.’
What would you do if you were Mayor for the day?
Insist that restaurants stay open later and there were more taxis available late at night.
Where would you suggest for a first date?
Definitely a walk along South Bank. London at night — as the song goes — is a beautiful place. I lived in London for 10 years and I don’t miss it, but when I walk along South Bank I just think it’s magical.
If you could buy any building and live there, which would it be?
Buckingham Palace. I’d turn it into a home for people who don’t have homes.
Who is the most iconic Londoner?
Barbara Windsor. She was a ledge. She had great theatrical pedigree and she went out with a Kray. Come on.
What do you collect?
The salt and pepper shakers you get on planes. Whenever I steal something I say, ‘Well, it was meant as a gift.’
What is your biggest extravagance?
Probably houses. I’m multi-homed. I don’t have children, I just have a couple of houses too many.
What are you up to for work?
I’m about to do concerts in London, Manchester and Glasgow. And also The Traitors season two; the American version just came out. I’ve also done a show called Alan Cumming’s Paradise Homes and then I’m doing some more concerts. Since the strikes finished everything has gone nuts.
What are you looking forward to in 2024?
The end of violence in the Middle East. I’m looking forward to Trump not getting in to power again. I’m looking forward to people taking a step back from this frenzy that we’re in where nobody can say anything. We all feel so helpless and so triggered that all we can do is shout at each other rather than shout out at the people who are really the problem. I’m looking forward to listening to each other, not screaming at each other.
