Thank you and goodnight
Phew, what a final and what a series. That concludes tonight’s liveblog but please feel free to continue the castle conversation in the comments section, especially if you watch on catch-up over the weekend. We’d love to hear your thoughts. I’ll keep an eye on it and chip in, now I’m not typing quite so frantically.
In the meantime, I’m @michaelhogan on the platform formerly known as Twitter, so feel free to say hi and give me a follow. Thanks for watching along with me and your excellent company. Stay faithful and sleep well. If you can…
Think you’d be better than this lot?
Funny you should say that. You can currently apply to take part in series three by filling out an online form. Applications close on 11 February so don’t leave it too long, wannabe Wagathas.
A series full of memorable moments
The meme-worthy talking points just kept coming. There was that line-up double-bluff upon arrival at the castle. Harry licking his lips. Diane’s “But Ross is…” mic drop. Brian’s “am I or amn’t I?” meltdown. That “bye” from inside the coffin.
Miles’ face when Diane was alive and well at breakfast. Darth Paul’s downfall and final bow. Ross vowing to avenge Diane - and then turning out to be just as rubbish at revenge as he was at the game. Evie muttering “I’m fucked”. Elusive-gate. Mollie slate-gate. All in just 12 electrifying episodes. Top tier TV.
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Claudia with a chance of meatballs
Let’s give it up for Lady Winkleman Of The Manor, who really has been the perfect presenter and puppet-mistress.
The owl. Those knits and coats, those gloves and funeral veils. The way she switched from screechy cheerleader during the missions to “not angry, just disappointed” when they idiotically eliminated Faithfuls. Camply hamming it up at Round Tables. Her clear relish for the game and love of the contestants.
She’s earned another BAFTA nod, a long nap and quite possibly some cheese. Or she said on The One Show last night: “I’ll be under a blanket with my puppy. That’s not code.” Iconic.
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A series that lit up the darkest month
After the debut series proved a BAFTA-winning word-of-mouth hits in late 2022, The Traitors deftly avoided second series syndrome. Indeed, its sophomore run surpassed the first. The missions were more epic. The twists were even more devilish. With players having learned from watching the first series, the stakes were higher and the gameplay more ruthless from the get-go.
Her fellow Traitors turning on Ash so quickly was an early sign that nobody was safe. There was no loyalty between Traitors, which kept everyone on their toes. It was brutal but brilliant to watch. Clever casting - the likes of Paul, Harry and Diane became all-time classic reality TV characters - made it even more addictive second time around.
This series has made January bearable and blown Love Island: All Stars out of the ratings water. It even nearly restored Twitter/X to some of its former TV tweetalong glories. This finale was just the icing on a deliciously dramatic cake. Fizzy rosé all round.
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Faithfuls didn’t deserve to win
I was rooting for Jaz to take Harry down to Chinatown but let’s face it. Harry played a better game than all the Faithfuls put together. They’ve been useless at sniffing out Traitors, only managing to banish them once they turned on one another. It’s Traitors who got rid of most Traitors, not Faithfuls.
They repeatedly fell into the trap of banishing people based on personalities and clashes, rather than whether there was evidence they were a traitor. The group dynamics were fascinating, as they all fell into line behind accusers, arguing amongst themselves while the Traitors sat back, watched and suppressed smiles (barely in Harry’s case).
Even in this final, they banished two strong Faithfuls in Evie and Jaz. If Jasmine or Zack hadn’t fallen narrowly short, it would have been a whole different game of Scottish soldiers.
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Too little, too late for Jazatha Christie
Jaz-ica Fletcher. Hercule Jazot. The castle’s resident amateur detective teased us in this final, dancing around the possibility of unleashing his “caged tiger” theories. Instead Jaz Singh went out with a whimper due to a brain-fart by Mollie.
The Mancunian with the tidy beard and suspiciously well-pressed white clothing was fans’ big hope to crack the castle case wide open. Early in the series, he swam against the tide by becoming convinced Paul was a Traitor. He turned out to be right, of course, but Harry claimed all the credit. Jaz then trained his sleuthing skills on Harry himself. He talked a good game about “hard evidence” but was reluctant to air them at Round Tables in case it made him a murder target.
Jaz was so laid-back and unassuming that when he did speak up, he struggled to make himself heard and convince his fellow Faithfuls to back him. He just about joined the dots to rumble both Harry and Andrew in the home stretch. He doggedly kept voting to banish again but didn’t put together a convincing enough case. If he and Andrew had joined forces against Harry – or Mollie had gone with her head, not her heart - it might all have been different.
He’d had a rough upbringing, hero-worshipping his father only to find out that he was leading a double life and had a secret second family. No wonder Jaz found it hard to trust people. He spoke admirably about using the potential prize money to rebuild his fractured family. He would have been a worthy winner but it wasn’t to be. Jaz was sharp, cynical and analytical but his caution cost him. Welcome to Jaz club. Nice.
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Tonight’s non-Traitors TV tips
At 10.50pm, it’s The Graham Norton Show on BBC1 with a Hollywood-heavy guestlist and music from Elbow.
Film-wise, Boogie Nights is currently on Comedy Central. Late-night options include period drama Effie Gray (11.15pm on BBC2), Brad Pitt fantasy romance Meet Joe Black (11.40 on BBC1) or Quentin Tarantino’s Jackie Brown (midnight on Dave). “Sit your ass down on that sofa…”
Mollie belonged on a different reality show
“Me and Mollie are the babies of the group,” said Harry memorably. “We’re both young, dumb and fun. Not saying everyone else is old but they’ve got wives and stuff.” #wivesandstuff
The 21-year-old disability model from Bristol never truly emerged from her close pal’s shadow but she was popular enough to slip under the radar all the way to the final. Everyone thought Mollie Pearce was far too sweet and guileless to be a Traitor. They were right. She turned out too guileless to be a Faithful as well.
Mollie was hoodwinked by almost every Traitor and became defined by her susceptibility to Harry’s wily charms. She repeatedly insisted that he couldn’t be a Traitor, while viewers at home face-palmed in frustration. If Harry came down to breakfast in a hooded cloak and a knife dripping blood all over the mini-pastries, she would still have insisted he was innocent.
She came agonisingly close to a late moment of clarity about Harry, then was blinded by their friendship and changed the name on her slate to Jaz. Which made literally no sense, as he’d just voted to banish again so clearly wasn’t a Traitor. Oh, Mol.
She spoke inspiringly about her limb difference and coming to terms with having a stoma bag at such a young age. In a rare moment of sincerity, Harry said “She’s an amazing young woman”. Ultimately, though, he used her as a human shield and broke her heart in the process. That’s the game, I guess, but when she fled the room in tears, it was still toe-curling to see. It’ll take more than a slap-up feed at the Slough branch of Nando’s to sort this one, Harry.
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Andrew was too much of a reluctant Traitor
He was the BFWG (big friendly Welsh giant). The muscle-bound insurance broker from Talbot Green was often shown in cutaway shots working out shirtless or eating a bizarrely large bowl of mints. Backstabbing simply wasn’t to his fresh-breathed tastes.
Once he’d got to know his fellow castle residents, Andrew opened up about his past trauma. Pronounced dead at the roadside 23 years ago after a serious accident, he was predicted to be brain damaged and paralysed, but defied medical expectations to rebuild his life. Poignantly, Andrew admitted he spent many years hating his scars and angry at the world. The Traitors was his bid for a fresh start.
Andrew’s popularity led to Harry and Paul recruiting him but turning Traitor never really sat easily with the protective father figure. He was so trusting, he defended Paul against accusations. When Harry schooled him in strategy, Andrew looked like a confused labrador. The cloak weighed heavily on him and he went into his shell, which only made him look dodgier. The “elusive-gate” row at Round Table, when he tried to gaslight Ross, ultimately proved his downfall, making him look just dodgy enough to be banished second tonight.
Andrew has an Neuro Linguistic Programming qualification and said he’d use the prize money to set up a mental health initiative. An admirable ambition that I hope he finds a way to fulfil. He touchingly said that he’d never been proud of anything in his life before getting to this final. Be proud of that and much more, Andrew. Oh and pass the mints.
SecretPuddleJumper says: “This is going to be a big and important life lesson for Mollie about bastards.”
Pampers adds: “Have they added ‘oh my days!’ in ADR to remove some sweary stuff?”
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bishamsmith says: “There’s something beautifully poetic about Harry being crowned champion to an empty room.”
PreviouslyID9637740 adds: “Cue Sunak ringing Harry to join the Tory election team. Lies ‘r’ us!”
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giroliddy says: “Siri, show me a Pyrrhic victory. But 95k buys you a lot of Pyrrhic, I guess.”
ColinWilson says: “Thought Harry dressing up more than usual as an ersatz spiv for the last bit should have been enough of a clue. Oh well.”
fotografere adds: “I hope Mollie is OK because she was really played! Gutted for Jazatha Christie. He was spot-on but he had no chance at the final banishment. To think, Harry NEARLY went out. That’s an expensive lie to buy!”
Your Traitors verdicts
Time for a rapidfire round-up of your comments. emilyscatnaps says: “I absolutely would be Andrew in this situation. With extra crying… Oh Andrew. Short of ripping the jacket off Claudia’s back and forcing Harry into it, you couldn’t have made it clearer for Our Jaz. Come on now.”
Harry was the antihero we needed
“Oh my diddly days” indeed. Army engineer Harry Clark, 22, introduced himself as a “proper lad” with “a face you either want to kiss or punch”. Which was it for you? Bit of both? A kunch?
After ostentatiously licking his lips when he got that fateful tap on the shoulder, he emerged from Darth Paul’s shadow to outdo even his Jedi master when it came to treachery. The only OG Traitor still standing played a masterful game from start to finish. If anyone ultimately deserved that £95k prize pot, it was him. But damn, he came close to being exposed at the last gasp.
With his baby face, gelled quiff and George Michael earring, “Hazza” admitted that his game-plan was to play on his youth by acting the naive innocent. He became everyone’s surrogate son or cheeky little brother. He made himself a hero on missions, becoming widely trusted - like his namesake Potter, Harry had an invisibility cloak - while secretly scheming and strategising like a stone-cold killer.
As Harry said, his military background meant he was trained to complete the mission. He was able to disconnect his emotions and get the job done. He proved a worryingly good liar too, outsmarting rivals without them realising. Harry took full control of the treacherous conclave, schooling “my baby Traitors” Andrew and Ross in the ways of the conclave, then throwing his co-conspirators under the bus when it suited him. He execured his evil plans to perfection and only wobbled wth the end in sight.
Andrew came for him in the final but the Welshman brought a knife to a gun battle. Jazatha Chrsitie came within a whisker of rumbling him and would have done so if it wasn’t for Mollie’s naivety. There was no satisfying ending to that paritcular whodunit. The cherubic master manipulator just about kept his cool. He broke Mollie’s heart but his newly boosted bank balance will soften that particular blow.
Will Harry use the money to fund the “Instagram lifestyle” that the tabloids have been getting in such a froth about? Or on treating his large family and getting his foot on the property ladder? Either way, the schemer from Slough deserves it for the four weeks of prime entertainment he’s provided. Lick those lips one more time, Hazza. You’ve earned it.
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Don’t go Traitors cold turkey just yet
Not only is Ed Gamble’s spin-off show Traitors Uncloaked underway on BBC2 but the canny Beeb is ensuring there’s more Traitors action coming our way soon. Three international versions will be available on iPlayer this year. In fact, the second series of The Traitors Australia begins on BBC3 at 10.50pm tonight, with all nine episodes available as a boxset.
Later in the year, the debut run of The Traitors New Zealand and the second season of The Traitors US (hosted by Alan Cumming and featuring John Bercow among the contestants, surreally, as well as Love Island alumna Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu) will also be coming to iPlayer.
Oh and in wireless news, the finalists will be reunited Claudia Winkleman on her Radio 2 show tomorrow morning at 10am. You’ll have to imagine the cloaks and suspicious glances.
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Mollie's slate correction was the game-changer
And also totally nonsensical. Jaz voted to banish again. A Traitor wouldn’t want to banish again, so why on earth did she then vote to banish Jaz? Blinded by her love for Harry but good golly, Miss Mollie.
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Credits roll
Well, that was a nerve-shredding 70 minutes with a worthy (if frustrating) winner, I thought. Please stay with us for analysis, reaction and a round-up of your comments.
The OG is victorious. He celebrates outside the castle with fizz and a cry of “Come on! I’m the best Traitor in the world!”
Very Titanic. “I hope Mollie didn’t hear that,” he adds sheepishly.
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Harry wins The Traitors
“Harry, you’ve played the game of your life,” says Claudia. He scoops £95.150 and vows to try and win Mollie’s trust back. Dream on, soldier. The 22-year-old has beaten everyone. Claudia takes him off for a gleeful glass of champagne.
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Harry reveals that he’s… a Traitor. “I am, and have been since the start, a Traitor.”
“Oh my fucking God,” says Mollie and leaves the rooms in tears. She admits that she wrote his name down first, then changed it. Gutting.
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And then there were two
The two young’uns are the last ones standing. Mollie reveals that she’s a Faithful. Brace yourselves.
Jaz is banished
And reveals that he’s a Faithful. Mollie looks devvo-ed.
All down to Mollie and she votes for… Jaz. She trusts Harry too much. Oh, Mol.
Jaz votes for… Harry.
Harry votes for… Jaz. And spells his name wrong, as the final insult.
Mollie’s vote isn’t locked in and she asks if she can change it. Drama. Unbearable. She’s still not sure. Has she changed it back? What the jiggins is going on?
Back to the slates
Mollie goes wobbly and tearful. Come on, gangster’s Mol.
He’s only confident to stand with Mollie. He brings up the Traitors vs Traitors trend. Harry blusters that “he was just angry because he brought up yourself”. Good to get a last “yourself” in there.
Jaz’s flame is… Red! Plot twist. YES, JAZATHA.
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Harry’s flame is… Green! End the game, obv. Sly as a fox called Sylvester Fox McSly from Sligo.
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Mollie’s flame is… Green! End the game. She thinks there was only one traitor and they’ve just found him. Yeah, about that…
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And then there were three
Back to their pyro-pouches. Are they convinced they’re all Faithful or is a Traitor still in their midst?
Andrew is banished
And admits he’s a Traitor. No “parting gift”. Too much of a gent for that.
Back to the slates
Mollie votes to banish… Andrew. Andrew votes to banish… Harry. Harry votes to banish… Andrew. Jaz votes to banish… Andrew. Nooooo! Jazatha Christie has bottled it.
Harry has chosen… Red! Banish again! “That was kind of random,” he says.
Andrew has chosen… Red! Banish again! “I believe Harry has been a great traitor from the start,” he says out of nowhere. Yes mate.
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Mollie has chosen… Red! Banish again! Bravo, Moll. She wants to be sure and secure.
Jaz has chosen… Red! Banish again! Yes, Jazatha.
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They’re doing the camp coloured flames thing like last year. The final four must choose a pouch apiece: “endgame” or “banish again”.
The endgame is upon us
The final four gather around the flickering flame. Perhaps they’re going to toast marshmallows and make smores.
Jaz trusts no one. Jaz is humanity’s last hope.
Harry, the youngest traitor, enjoys Claudia’s flattery that he’s always been several steps ahead. Could his over-confidence prove his undoing?
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Andrew’s got a plan. He’s going to put up a fight. This could get tasty.
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In cosy fireside chats, Claudia reminds Mollie that she’s the last woman standing. Mollie says she’ll never forgive herself if a Traitor gets to the end.
Under scrutiny from Jaz, Harry decides it’s time to throw his co-conspirator Andrew under the bus. Meanwhile, Andrew goes to Jaz and knifes Harry, telling Jazatha Christie he was onto something.
“There’s been a pattern of traitors taking other Traitors out,” muses Jaz. Is he cottoning onto the fact that Harry and Andrew are both on the dark side?
It shouldn't happen to a vet
The veterinary nurse from Inverness lived just 30 minutes down the road from Ardross Castle. Perhaps that’s partly why Evie Morrison always seemed so at home, she became like part of the furniture. Viewers often complained that they couldn’t tell the “three blondes” - Evie, Charlie and Mollie - apart. It wasn’t until the home stretch that softly spoken Evie truly emerged as a character in her own right. She also casually dropped into conservation last night that she had a wife and was immediately warmly embraced by the LGBTQ community.
As well as her outdoorsy nature making her handy in the missions, she turned out to be a shrewd observer of behaviour and canny judge of character. Evie was one of the first to suspect Ash and Paul. Having talked of the code-switching adaptability she needs in her day job, Evie even became a dark horse to win. However, she eventually came under suspicion herself. She and Jasmine accused each other at last night’s heated round table. When Jasmine was duly banished, Evie muttered “I’m fucked”, knowing her head was next on the chopping block.
Her ambitions for the prize money were endearingly wholesome - buy a bigger house for her, her wife Kayleigh and their two rescue dogs, perhaps a smallholding where they could rescue more animals - but those plans will have to be put on hold for now. Won’t someone think of the dogs?
Evie is banished
Four for Evie, one for Andrew. She joins Claudia and announces that she’s… dramatic pause… a Faithful.
And the votes are in
Andrew votes for Evie and vice versa. Jaz, Harry and Mollie also vote for Evie.
Harry argues that Paul was chucking out names as a smokescreen. Jaz looks reassured for now. COME ON, JAZICA FLETCHER.
Enter Jazatha Christie
Jaz says that he trusts Harry but brings up the Paul chat incident. Harry is rattled for once. Andrew looks intrigued. Is this is his chance?
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Evie puts up a compelling case. Mollie backs Harry over shieldgate. Come on, guys. Somebody needs to work out that Ross didn’t kill his own mum and was recruited. Evie suspects “yourself, Andrew”.
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Who can you trust? Who can you not?
Players, the floor is yours. Evie kicks us off. She understands how she’s signed her own death warrant post-Jasmine but promises she’s a Faithful.
They’ve all dressed up in their wedding outfits, bless them. Claudia has donned velvet sparkles, signalling the solemnity of the occasion.
This is it. The final round table
Will glass goblets be thrown? Will the slate spellings finally be correct? Will someone leave “a parting gift”? Time to find out in the last circular showdown of the series…
Harry continues to scheme and strategise. He’s now sowing seeds with Andrew to go after Jaz and Evie. Andrew seems to lack the stomach for a fight with his fellow Traitor.
Tension building nicely ahead of the final round table. Harry thinks he’s got Mollie and Jaz on side. But has he?
The banishment looks to be between Andrew and Evie at this stage. Jaz agonises over whether to bring up his Harry doubts.
Mainsail is hoisted
Mission accomplished with a mere seconds to spare. They’ve added £20,000 to the prize pot, taking the total to £95,150.
The producers have borrowed some dolphin footage from David Attenborough to celebrate.
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Harry gets seasick and starts “yakking up” over the back of the dinghy. That’s livened things up, at least.
Claudia is worried they’re wasting too much time on the detours. I’m worried the finale is wasting too much time on this outward bounds, corporate team-building, Go Ape-on-a-Groupon tedium.
A hairy moment as Andrew has an abseiling nightmare and ends up hanging upside down. Surely he could simply smash the cliff to smithereens with his Hulk fist?
Harry is annoyingly good at it, obv.
Jaz seems to be stuck on a loop of saying “Oh my days” and “This is next level”.
The mission involves abseiling and Mollie bravely volunteers to go first. Krypton Factor stuff.
The final mission
Time for the quintet to be set their 12th and final mission in picturesque Portknockie. Claudia’s changed into a black peacoat and gives them their instructions. They must take detours over the cliffs, find flags and raise the mainsail on the Traitors’ ship to win the money. Salty.
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Get to the chopper
A helicopter lands in the castle grounds, to much excitement. Out steps Claudia to whisk them to their final mission. She tells them to enjoy the views of the majestic Highlands en route. All a bit I’m A Celebrity, only without the weeping Gemma Collins.
Evie is upset, the pressure getting to her over her head being on the chopping block. It’s looking like Evie vs Andrew for the first banishment but Jaz is dropping dark hints about “having something on Harry”.
UNLEASH THE CAGED TIGER, JAZICA FLETCHER.
There hasn’t been a game of snooker this tense since Ronnie O’Sullivan shoulder-barged Ali Carter. A reference for the baize aficionados there.
More than £75K at stake
After 11 missions, the spoils stand at £75,150 from a possible £100,000. Or “75 bags”, as Harry called it last night.
They’ll have the opportunity to increase this by a further £20k in tonight’s mission, which sounds like it might be piratical-themed. Who’ll take the loot home, me hearties?
Winkleman wardrobe watch
Here comes our games mistress, looking on-point as always in a tweed jacket with “Traitor?” on the back. Coming soon to a march market stall near you…
Evie arrives and helps herself to Ribena. She’s the only Scottish finalist but maybe won’t be here for long. “I’m fucked” indeed.
Jazatha Christie in the house. He’s switched up his wardrobe from white to black. But can he step up tonight and crack the case? Your time is now, Jaz.
“Who would’ve thought I’d make it to the final?” asks Mollie. Not many of us, frankly, Mol.
The final five arrive separately, allowing a misty-eyed look back at their j-word, journey. Andrew: hench and emotional. Harry: hair-gelled and less emotional.
The last breakfast
That breakfast table has been shrinking by the day. Now it’s set for five, groaning under the weight of that maximalist table-scaping, melon-heavy fruit salad and slightly stale croissants.
Tiny swords! Round table rows! Fare thee well, Jasmine - rugby-playing, bird-impersonating, Zack-bickering queen of our hearts.
And we’re off!
Roll a rapdfire montage of series highlights and the traditional “Previously on the Traitors” recap.
“Players, it’s time.” Goosebumps.
Quick, last chance for a fizzy rosé top-up and a trip to the castle loo. We’re about to go over to Chateau Chicanery…
Amanda & Alan’s Italian Job just finishing on BBC1 right now. Sadly, Ms Holden and Mr Carr aren’t pulling off an audacious gold bullion heist in Mini Coopers. They’re merely doing up a Sicilian pile. Why they expect us to watch, only the ghost of Lord Reith knows. Five minutes to wait now…
Those we have lost
Just time to raise a glass of Kylie blush to the 17 contestants who didn’t make it this far.
The murder victims, in chronological order, were Aubrey (proud owner of Luther Vandross the cat), economist Kyra, illustrator Meg, clairvoyant Tracey (she didn’t see that coming, etc), Lady Di (“bye”), Charlie (this is for Bristol!) and Zack, aka “Zacky Boy”, the world’s worst archer.
Banished were knit-wit Sonja, Brian the sheep (or amn’t he?), outcast traitor Ash, ex-military man Jonny, gilet-clad chess coach Anthony (“let that sink in”), poisoner Miles, Darth Paul, bath fan Charlotte, rubbish avenger Ross and the excellent Jasmine (so near yet no far)
Hope they’re all resting in peace, up in reality TV heaven. NB: they were just knocked out of the game, they’re not actually dead. Not long to wait now…
What’s been grinding your gears?
“Traitorous” rather than “treacherous”? “Myself” and “yourself” instead of “you” and “me”? My own latest linguistic bugbear is Harry saying “fateful” rather than “faithful”. He almost deserves to be banished for that alone.
Ten minutes until cloak o’clock…
Last night’s episode rewound
A quick reminder of last night’s action. Zack didn’t come down to breakfast after being murder in the night, putting Jasmine in the spotlight after their recent rows.
The penultimate mission saw Claudia “Wickerman” dressed as her own fringe and presiding over a folk-horror style scenario with gold-masked figures gathered around “the Traitors’ monument”. The team solved riddles to win £7,000. Harry pulled out a scared sword from its stone, giving him the option to take the £7K for himself. He declined to build trust and look like a team player.
Around the penultimate round table, Jasmine and Evie turned on each other accusingly, leaving the Traitors to sit back and watch the fun unfold. Jasmine was sadly banished, leaving Evie with a target on her back.
The final five were treated to a dinner party at which they bonded, shared their personal stories and came over rather emosh. Then they were sent to bed and told to get their game-faces on for the ultimate showdown. Now we’ve refreshed our rosé-addled memories, it’s 15 minutes until the fingerless gloves come off….
Let’s play Traitors bingo
Tick them off as they happen on-screen! Take a drink for each! End up tipsily ordering a Claudia cape from ASOS! Here’s your 10-point spotter’s guide for tonight’s final…
Cutaway shot of an owl followed by cutaway shot of a mouse, blatantly “borrowed” from Springwatch
Harry smugly congratulates himself for making a perfect choice and playing a good game
A laughably literal song strikes up on the soundtrack
Evie huffily pushes up her jacket sleeves and mutters an F-bomb under her breath
Nervous sipping of glass goblet at Round Table
Andrew talks so fast in a broad Welsh accent that you only catch the gist
Pass-agg use of “mate” or “babe” when the game gets spicy
Mollie insists that Harry is a Faithful despite all evidence to the contrary
Jazatha Christie strokes his beard thoughtfully while wearing a dazzlingly white rollneck
Misspelt vote on slate at round table, even though there’s only four other names to learn and they’ve had weeks to do it
Is The Traitors is a young person's game?
The youth have come out on top this series, with 45-year-old Andrew the only member of the final five aged over 30.
The two youngest contestants, 21-year-old Mollie and 22-year-old Harry, both went all the way. They’re joined by Evie and Jaz, 29 and 30 respectively. A shame that the golden oldies - especially Diane, of course - all fell away.
Twenty minutes until red fingerless glove hour…
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Pass the popcorn
In a measure of how much Traitors-mania has gripped the nation, tonight’s final is being screened in selected indie cinemas for free - the first time reality a show like this has ever had a theatrical screening.
Bubble from Big Brother and Wagner from The X Factor would be turning in their graves, if they were dead.
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Why has Harry’s crown slipped?
The baby-faced assassin’s masterful gameplay has got him this far undetected and largely unsuspected. En route. he’s seen off four fellow Traitors in Ash, Miles, Paul and Ross. So why is Harry suddenly looking at risk?
Well, Jazatha Christie’s had him in his sights for some time now, mainly thanks to his conversational connections to Paul. If Jaz pools his knowledge with Evie - especially over shieldgate - they could turn up the heat on Harry. The scheming squaddie admitted that no murder last night was a major blow to his strategy and was starting to feel guilty about his treacherous antics - especially the prospect of swiping the money from Mollie. There’s also the danger of his confidence spilling over into cockiness.
Will he be unmasked at last? Not long until we get our first clues…
Mollie is the new bookies’ favourite
Ever since his senior partner Paul’s departure, Traitors ringleader Harry has been the bookmakers’ top tip to win.
However, many are now predicting him to fall at the final hurdle, leaving Mollie as the favourite among the Faithfuls.
Poor old Evie is the rank outsider. No wonder she muttered “I’m fucked” last night. Just 25 minutes until the owl hoots…
Final five follow the pattern
We go into this finale with three Faithfuls (Mollie, Evie and Jaz) versus two Traitors (Harry and Andrew). Last series, spookily, it was exactly the same ratio and gender split: faithfuls Hannah, Meryl and Aaron versus traitors Kieran and Wilfred.
Will the result repeat itself too? It’s less than half an hour until we go over to that well-appointed country pile…
Will Traitors or Faithfuls be kings of the castle?
Expect Round Table tension, gasp-inducing plot twists and perhaps even some “parting gifts”. Good evening all and welcome to the first must-see TV event of 2024. No, not the darts or that Ab Fab reunion on The Masked Singer. We’re talking about the grand finale of The Traitors UK series two.
I’m Michael, your cyber sofa companion for tonight’s turret action. Please watch along with me as our final five bid to come out on top in the most treacherous game outside Tory party politics.
Four weeks ago, a fresh batch of 22 strangers arrived at Ardross Castle in the Scottish Highlands for the cloak-and-dagger reality contest. Since then, 17 have been murdered under cover of darkness or banished from the castle walls forever. Now just three Faithfuls and two Traitors remain. Tonight’s pivotal episode is all that stands between them and the £75,000-plus prize pot.
Will snake-in-chief Harry snatch it all? Could Andrew usurp his treacherous tutor? Is Evie doomed to be banished first? Has Jazatha Christie left it too late to speak up? And how will Mollie react when she learns the heartbreaking truth about Harry? As host Claudia Winkleman warned way back in episode one: “You think you know how this game works. You don’t.” Anything could happen. Backs will be stabbed. Betrayal is inevitable. Our heads might spin like that resident owl’s.
An extended 70-minute climax will see their biggest and most action-packed mission yet, followed by the last Round Table gathering. Banishments will continue until they’re confident that no traitors are left. If they’re right and none remain, the surviving Faithful will share the prize fund. But if one Traitor or more makes it to the end, they will take all the money and run off cackling into the Caledonian night.
It’s treachery time at 9pm on BBC One. I’ll be liveblogging from 8.30pm, providing build-up, rolling coverage, insta-reaction and mild-to-medium snark. So charge your poisoned chalice with delightfully sparkling Diane tribute rosé and I’ll see you on the sofa for what’s bound to be a nail-biter.
I’d love to hear from you too. You can tweet me @michaelhogan, email me michael.hogan.freelance@guardian.co.uk and the comments section below is open for castle-based conversation. I’ll keep a Claudia-style smoky kohl eye on it all and quote a selection of your comments.
Can the righteous Faithfuls win again? Or will those infernal hooded Traitors get their revenge? Nearly time to lower the drawbridge, light those flaming torches and find out…