Hand a woman a bit of chalk, a blackboard, and ask her to analyse a game of football and watch the meltdown.
Within seven seconds of Emma Hayes stepping up to offer a succinct, compelling, and straightforward breakdown of fairly complex tactical issues as Spain were held to a goalless draw against tournament debutants Cape Verde this week, social media was already getting itself into a lather.
Add to the mix her comment that Cape Verde’s point was a ‘victory for immigration’ and the toxicity was firmly ramped up another couple of notches. One sometimes feels the need to reach for a bottle of hand sanitiser after social media exposure.
By the time Hayes spoke to a substantially larger audience during the, ahem, ‘hydration break’ as England opened their campaign against Croatia on Wednesday night, the lather had become a distinct frothing of the mouth.
Paddy Power’s betting specials missed a trick by failing to add in a few Hayes reactions; more than a dozen ‘milk, two sugars’ gags within 30 minutes of her comments? 2/1. Anything that starts with ‘I’m not sexist, but…’ 3/1.
And these are the tip of the iceberg. The more insidious comments clearly illustrate the reaction to a woman, and a substantially qualified one at that, speaking with any authority about football triggers a certain type.
And, speaking of types, it did not take long for someone’s itchy fingers to take to their keyboard; “Give it a rest, Emma love,” piped up Joey Barton [to everyone’s huge shock].
The optics around Hayes weren’t particularly kind, as someone at ITV should have realised, with her surroundings resembling a kitchen, manna from heaven for the trolls. The retro look of chalk and blackboard was an easy AI hit with, inevitably, shopping lists and cooking recipes recreated in place of her tactical notes. Yawn.
That Hayes will have heard all of this as many times as she has had hot dinners is not the point. It is more than just wearisome. The comments are underpinned by a zealous misogyny, a nasty, sour stench about them.
The reason that bitterness rises to the fore is depressingly simple; here is a woman who has achieved much within the game, has earned her platform and then some, and who is now more than qualified to take up a punditry post and speak with a bit of clout.
That celebration of her achievements is what sticks in the craw of the type of man who hides behind a fabricated social media persona. The real sadness is how threatened so many are by it.
AND ANOTHER THING
If Scotland’s women are to make it to Brazil next summer, they will need to produce their best ever result.
As the draw was made in Nyon on Thursday afternoon, Melissa Andreatta’s side were given an exceptionally arduous route through the play-off system.
First up will be Czechia with the winners then taking on whoever comes out on top from the game between Lithuania v Sweden. The Swedes will be heavy favourites to be progress through both ties and book their place at the tournament next summer.
Andreatta was inevitably upbeat but Sweden are one of the original heavyweights of the women’s game. The bronze medal winners of the FIFA Women’s World Cup 2023, the fourth time they finished third in the world, they are also World Cup finalists, too, having made it to the 2003 final, a game, incidentally, that drew the second highest Swedish television audience that year.
Perennials at the World Cup – they have qualified for every tournament - they finished third in their League A group behind Denmark and Italy. If that was something of a surprise, they will not be inclined to offer any more intrigue having secured the safety of a play-off route.
Scotland have been undone at this stage in recent tournament qualification journeys by Ireland and Finland. If those game pointed to a failure of belief, the potential games against Sweden will require more than just conviction.
Coming through such a tie would be every bit as impressive as the 2-0 win Steve Clarke’s side had against Spain at Hampden back in 2023. If they are going to make it to Brazil, they are going to have to produce a tournament moment before they get there.
AND FINALLY
Caroline Weir’s ambition of winning the Champions League has become more likely on the back of her move to Lyon.
The French champions have won the tournament a record eight times and although they haven’t had their hands on it since 2022, they remain one of the most prestigious teams in the women’s game.
They lost the Champions League final to Barca this season but have designs on restoring their European champions status. Weir’s switch to France from Real Madrid isn’t just a fantastic personal move but also reflects well on the Scottish game; any player performing at the most elite level shines a light on our own production line.
It can also only help the national team to have its captain competing against the very best on a daily basis and being exposed to the pressures and demands of that kind of environment.
Just turned 31, Weir has ample time ahead of her to go and get her hands on the biggest prize of all as she targets the Champions League.
She will not be without her supporters back on home soil.
