Next week, let’s do a BTL Forbidden Ingredient - get those thinking caps on and drop in your suggestions before we get cracking! I also promise to be less of a Scrooge - see you then, pals!
It couldn’t really have been anyone else than Gareth. A bit of an underwhelming episode, but heck it’s all for charity and at least none of the bakers got injured this week.
The winner of The SU2C Bake Off 2022 Episode 2 is ..
Gareth! It sort of had to be, didn’t it? The technical was a write off for nearly everyone, and his Showstopper was the only one that was entirely created from meringue.
I must apologise for my grumping all the way through this episode, I was rubbed up the wrong way by that cursed handshake. The bakers did do a decent job (excluding the obvious) - and the win will have meant a lot to Gareth, who definitely deserved it.
Remember Michael, two of them forgot to put flour in the technical.
You are entirely right (though “good” is certainly an odd word choice). While I’m being a Scrooge, I think the praise being heaped on Laura for all the different flavours is perhaps a little excessive, considering it’s just a teaspoon from a different bottle each time.
Am I right in thinking that you can’t really screw up meringue? They all really seemed to have done a good job there.
“If we’re basing this off vibes, as well as bakes, then I’ve won”, suggests an optimistic Yung Filly. I’d suggest he’s more like Clara Amfo than he may think:
Relatable. 🤣🤣🤣 #GBBO pic.twitter.com/2evoIMWDJ1
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) March 22, 2022
I’d say that Ruby Wax’s Bill Gates looks more like the late, great Larry King.
Ruby Wax’s ‘Bill’s On Fire’ Showstopper - a memorable homage to an unfortunate incident involving @BillGates’ eyebrow. #GBBO @RubyWax pic.twitter.com/3S97Ioivp9
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) March 29, 2022
“Crispy on the outside, squishy in the middle” says Prue, neatly summing up my personality.
Laura Whitmore has done a bang up job I think. Let’s just hope she hasn’t opened herself up to potential legal action from the makers of a certain pig-shaped supermarket sweet.
Laura Whitmore’s ‘What A Donkey!’ Showstopper. She hasn’t made an ass of herself with this lovely looking bake! #GBBO pic.twitter.com/y4CcOXjcFC
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) March 29, 2022
“Was I supposed to put flavour in there?!”, asks a bemused Yung Filly. Clara Amfo from last week would be horrified.
Yung Filly’s ‘The Kiss That Missed’ Showstopper. Made with love and an important message to us all. ❤️ #GBBO @YungFilly1 pic.twitter.com/IqmM1B9dpY
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) March 29, 2022
Will Yung Filly be the first baker in Bake Off history to have not actually not baked anything on Bake Off?
On to the judging…
At least they all have something to present this time.
I loved Yung Filly’s mother roaring with laughter down the phone as he FaceTimes her for approval.
“This looks like something you see in a maximum security prison”
“S***. How do I cover the cracks?” says Ruby, inadvertently answering her own question.
As for the Percy Pigs Laura Whitmore has just baked, have we learnt nothing from the Colin the Caterpillar debacle?
Correction. A melted Mr and Mrs Potato Head.
Yung Filly has made Mr and Mrs Potato Head.
Gareth’s italian meringue looks absolutely fantastic, to be fair. I think he might have this in the bag (bar any missing ingredients…).
This is actually an inspired strategy
I admire that Ruby Wax still has meringue in her hair from the time she turned over the bowl to see whether it had set at the start of the challenge.
A nice note from Gareth there, mentioning his friend who has cancer. It clearly means a lot to him, and brings home the message of this whole series.
Anything to do with meringue is making me think of James Acaster’s showstopper when he decided to add loads in to make it taste of the sea.
I did the same as Yung Filly once apart from that I missed their cheek and accidentally kissed their ear! Or the time that a friend let me dance with her boyfriend for the slow dance at the school prom but the boyfriend didn’t want me to get too intimate so I could only dance with him if both our arms were straight ahead and to the sides of each other, as if we were both opening a wardrobe.
Yung Filly was embarrassed by trying to kiss a girl who promptly “turned her cheek to the side”. Prue demonstrates by turning her whole body away – suggesting she might be thinking of the wrong cheek.
Okay Scott. Indulge me. What’s your most embarrassing moment?
If only Ruby had opened some Windows before blowing on the flares in front of Bill Gates… (sorry).
“The trick of Bake Off is to follow everyone else,” says Filly. In a usual week of Bake Off, yes. This week? Maybe not.
Gareth is making a cream bush. I can’t for the life of me work out why that sounds rude, but it certainly does.
The bakers must create a magnificent meringue scene, featuring their most embarrassing moment.
Surely that technical must feature somewhere in their worst moments…
Another heartbreaking story. Remember if you want to donate, you can do so on the Stand Up To Cancer website here. Scott and I will be donating a portion of our fee, too.
Do I really need to write out the results of that challenge?
My prediction is:
4th – Laura, Yung Filly and Gareth
1st – Ruby
Time for the technical judging!
I don’t understand how they can do anything but call a draw between the three splats?
RUBBBBBBYYYYYY. It’s a pudding it’s a pudding it’s a pudding it’s a pudding it’s a pudding it’s a pudding it’s a pudding it’s a pudding it’s a pudding it’s a pudding it’s a pudding it’s a pudding. It’s a pudding!
Never before has the proof been so much in the pudding.
AND RUBY HAS DONE IT! Imagine if she came last now.
THREE OUT OF THREE BAKES have now completely fallen apart. I admire that Paul and Prue are having to compare them, as if they are any different. The one that resembles an actual pudding will win this technical challenge and just to infuriate Michael, a handshake.
Second set of structurally deficient puddings. Yikes. Apparently they taste good though, which is perhaps unsurprising considering the only ingredients are eggs, sugar and chocolate.
“Probably needs a little longer in the oven”, suggests Paul. I think that’s the least of the issues, really.
Send Paul to jail. JAIL.
Well, Yung Filly’s puddings have collapsed. He’s “fuming, bruv”.
It appears that the flour is only added shortly before putting it into the oven. Gareth can claw it back, perhaps. Yung Filly, meanwhile…
Yung Filly, too! Some accidentally gluten free bakes coming right up.
Well, in Gareth’s case, just ignore the flour step entirely. It’s easier!
It is a lot harder to follow the recipe as a viewer, as they’re all at different stages. Here’s the basics of what you probably need to know:
They have to whisk up the eggs and sugar to a thick foamy stage, then fold through chocolate and flour. They then have to partially fill the mould, allowing the mixture to set a little, then press in the white chocolate centre before covering and baking to the right time.
Ruby nearly shoving her hands into the electric whisk reminds me of the time Alex Jones gave herself AN INJURY because she didn’t secure the bowl in the first place.
I’m still reeling from the you-know-what. Finding it hard to concentrate on anything (which puts me and Yung Filly into the same boat, by the looks of things). I did enjoy Ruby buttering her tins by inserting the whole block of butter, though.
They have edited out them telling the challenge to Ruby so for a second I assumed that she had no idea what she was going to be baking.
In the words of Yan: “If you serve a cake, serve it phallic.”
The last time they did this challenge was when Yan served Paul fondant puddings in the shape of a penis.
Never forget Yan #GBBO pic.twitter.com/BbRRd8ktwP
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) December 1, 2020
I’m absolutely fuming. Not even this staggered start (which I would usually love) can save it. Is Paul now contractually obligated to grab the hand of a randomly selected baker during judging?
They have to bake four chocolate fondant puddings with a melt in the middle centre. There’s also a staggered start.
“It’s all in the baking,” emphasises Prue. No shit.
FINALLY.
A HANDSHAKE?! That’s it. I’ve had enough. Scott, you’re on your own.
Prue Leith is officially no longer the designated driver.
Ruby’s cat backsides are raw but buttery, and Laura’s shamrocks have a rather suspect looking glaze that is thankfully glossed over. Thank goodness Prue’s got a tipple, though.
Filly, with a bit of pride: “That’s the first thing I have ever baked in my entire life.”
Paul Hollywood: “I question if it is even baked.”
If Paul dares to give out a handshake for any of these I will resign with immediate effect.
The bakers face the judges for the first time…
… and I don’t think it’s going to be pretty.
Updated
Yung Filly is adorable and I will protect him with my life. #gbbo #bakeoff pic.twitter.com/287tsH29z4
— Ariadne 🦋 (@Ariadne_Reviews) March 29, 2022
Would pay good money to see Yung Filly’s mum’s reaction.
You can also tell that Laura Whitmore is a Bake Off fan because she is serving her alcohol-fuelled turnovers along with a selection of alcohol.
Gareth’s have puffed beautifully, but Laura’s seem to be seeping everywhere. Elsewhere, Ruby’s bottoms look enormous (but pale) and Yung Filly has made what appear to be runny scones.
All of the liquid has seeped out of Laura Whitmore’s bake so it looks like she is baking soup in the oven.
Gareth is entering the pantheon of bakers who ignore Matt and Noel – barely cracking a smirk as Matt treats him to some distraction.
It feels like there are multiple competitions in the tent: Gareth vs Laura, Ruby vs Her Bin and Yung Filly vs Everything.
Yung Filly can also cook a good sea bass. The things! You! Learn! About celebrities in this show!
Ruby is tidying her bench – forgetting that one of the main benefits of the tent is the kitchen elves who do it for you!
The karma is immediate – in a classic move, she has binned the main ingredient from her turnovers. Gulp.
To be fair, I’m grateful for any identifiers at this point. Also, I feel like we can give ourselves a mark on the bingo card for Prue’s pastel Elmer outfit.
Of course Gareth Malone is doing a musical note themed turnover. WE GET IT GARETH.
In what I’m assuming was a compliment, Yung Filly has told a bemused Gareth that he’s “on flames”. Can anybody shed any light?
Gareth is baking with “all his favourite flavours”, which appear to come to the sum total of *checks notes* two. How adventurous!
At least she gave an explanation. Alex Horne last week cooked cold sausages and potatoes and I still don’t really know why.
I am concerned that the shamrock cutters may end up looking just as phallic as Emma Willis’s Signature last week…
…and Ruby is baking a bottom. That’s both the front and back covered in this series’ first two episodes, then.
“I’m a big fan of Bake Off.” Three minutes later Laura is already filling her bake with alcohol. You can tell that she knows how to sway the judges.
Six identical turnovers in rough puff pastry.
Rough puff is how I feel after going to a hen do this weekend.
“Choirmaster and broadcaster”, Gareth Malone. So, I was sort of right with my guess?
Ruby Wax has never worn an apron (last week we discovered that Clara Amfo has never cut a vanilla pod). The things you learn about celebrities on the show.
I am rooting for Laura Whitmore because she is a) Irish and b) has some excellent dungarees on (and also because I know who she is).
I get a little bit of a thrill when celebs say they have been a fan of the show “for years” - then I remember this likely means they watched me sob into caramel for weeks on end a few years ago. Yikes.
Great start. Anyway this week’s episode features a Showstopper of someone’s face for some reason.
I do not know who Gareth is but I am assuming it’s something to do with singing? Is he like Britney Spears for the middle-aged?
Immediately Noel and Matt are singing to Gareth Malone. I KNEW it.
*whispers* Michael, do you know who Gareth Malone is?
Absolutely. Bake Off has been so important these last couple of years. Both the celebrity and the main series have coincided with either lockdowns and restrictions, and the comfort this show has brought me has been so important to me.
This week’s bingo is as below:
- Boozy bakes
- A celeb that has “never baked before”
- Inadvertently sexual sculptures (see above)
- Prue in an outfit inspired by Elmer the elephant
- Paul in jeans, again (boring)
- Michael getting cross about yet another meaningless handshake
And this week’s Forbidden Ingredient, which earns immediate expulsion from the tent, is… a random scattering of fresh fruit masquerading as decoration!
In case you missed it last week, Alex Horne served Paul and Prue cold mash potato, Clara Amfo started a fire in a mee-cro-wav-ay, Emma Willis accidentally baked some male genitalia and in his Showstopper Blake Harrison decided to depict Prue and Paul in a wrestling match. May I repeat. It is supposed to be a wrestling match.
truly I will never recover from Fondant Paul and Fondant Prue... wrestling... #gbbo #bakeoff pic.twitter.com/XdLljPTwwu
— Ariadne 🦋 (@Ariadne_Reviews) March 22, 2022
Just a reminder that the celebrities are taking part in SU2C Bake Off to raise some all important cash for the charity. Michael and I are donating some of our fee to the charity, and you can contribute by heading to the SU2C website.
Hello again friends! This week I’ve made sure I’m not locked out of my Guardian commenting account, so that’s a marked improvement on last week already. That said, I’ve just read the bakers’ bios and I am not entirely sure I know who all of them are. I’ve always considered a “Yung Filly” to be a foal.
Welcome to the Great Stand Up To Cancer Bake Off Guardian liveblog! I’m Scott Bryan. Michael Chakraverty is here too. This week four more celebrities will try (and will most most likely fail) to bake delicious treats for Paul and Prue.
The stars include comedian and mental health ambassador Ruby Wax, broadcaster and Love Island host Laura Whitmore, comedian and BBC Three star Yung Filly plus choirmaster and broadcaster Gareth Malone. Matt and Noel are going to sing to him, aren’t they?
