If you’ve always dreamed of Natasha Lyonne helping you out with a crossword, inviting over Lena Dunham to paint a mural on one of your walls, or hiring Parks and Recreation’s Adam Scott to walk your dog, it’s your lucky day thanks to a series of star-studded charity auctions,
In a bid to fundraise for the actors, writers, and other film crew who are currently taking part in the ongoing Hollywood strikes, a whole host of celebrities are auctioning off weird and wonderful experiences and rare items.
All auctions are currently taking place on The Union Solidarity Coalition’s eBay page. The many prizes include Lena Dunham painting a mural in your house, an apron signed by the cast of The Bear, Tom Waits’ fedora, and a Hawaiian shirt signed by Daniel Radcliffe and "Weird Al" Yankovic.
Many of the auctions have already attracted soaring numbers of bids. All proceeds will go to the Motion Picture and Television Fund, to help the organisation support striking Hollywood crew who have lost their healthcare insurance during the ongoing strike action.
Hollywood’s strike action began in May this year when the Writers Guild of America – which represents over 11,500 US screenwriters – went on strike. The American actor’s union SAG-AFTRA also began strike action from July. Strikers’ demands include higher pay, fair compensation and transparency around shoes which go onto became hits on streaming services, shorter exclusivity deals for writers, and for assurances and safeguarding measures around protecting crews from rapidly-advancing AI tech.
A fair few of the objects and experiences on offer, you may have noticed, are quite odd – and it has inspired all manner of speculation around what other celebrity auction items would break the internet.
As it turns out, making up fictional auctions you would be willing to go bankrupt for is addictive. A guided Cosmopolitan-drinking tour around Manhattan with Kim Cattrall, with a secret off the record segment dedicated to Sex and the City drama? Take my money!
An interior design consultation with Jennifer Coolidge, in character as White Lotus’ Tanya McQuoid? Obviously! And as several tweeters have already noticed, one of the greatest prizes of all would be getting the exclusive inside story on what really went down on the set of Don’t Worry Darling.
Unfortunately, none of these items on sale are real, but nonetheless, here are the internet’s greatest fake auction listings. We can still dream!
HELP i won the lena dunham mural auction and she hasn’t painted Shit!!!!!! i want her to leave 😰 pic.twitter.com/7c4NYhL7y1
— sbeve (@bereswheel) September 15, 2023
yh take my money. https://t.co/aGgTFjI0Bc pic.twitter.com/QHSwB1OYr6
— bobz. (@boujeebx) September 14, 2023
This is the one for me pic.twitter.com/Ks95Oil6qv
— Keith Goulette 🪦 (@keithgdesigns) September 14, 2023
guys please spare $2,624 🙏🙏 https://t.co/yvu31gVUDj pic.twitter.com/Me1TescyCN
— mar (@bettercallmarz) September 14, 2023
If they had this one it would’ve gotten me to empty my savings account https://t.co/FZWYfZfNeW pic.twitter.com/1leFNMg59m
— Tom Zohar (@TomZohar) September 13, 2023
Wasn’t paying any attention to the celebrity auction until now pic.twitter.com/TsFcVtXRC0
— Keri (@kerionmywayward) September 15, 2023
wow no way pic.twitter.com/64uiJ2KLoN
— lucy ford 🍊 (@lucyj_ford) September 14, 2023
https://t.co/BxxKUg0cWf pic.twitter.com/mi5RuYp71v
— myesha thee stallion (@myeshachou) September 14, 2023
I absolutely can't tell which of the celebrity auction things are real and which are jokes so for simplicity and also my own amusement, I'm pretending they're all real
— Sarah Hollowell 🦝 (@sarahhollowell) September 14, 2023
These strike auctions are insane pic.twitter.com/2YFn7CShWU
— The Only Living Dead Girl in New York (@missjellinsky) September 14, 2023
The auction is gonna get real competitive https://t.co/FvQ6JuRedJ pic.twitter.com/ZkfkUUBu7G
— Andy Unreal Unearth (@djarincinciri) September 14, 2023
https://t.co/88dEmEo65j pic.twitter.com/W0I4pxWVZa
— Lucy (@LMAsaysno) September 14, 2023
https://t.co/QiwFqDK3dI pic.twitter.com/AucUWY2cHQ
— Amanda (@DuganAmanda) September 14, 2023
would go into credit card debt if they had this one https://t.co/NkYtcL94gp pic.twitter.com/pWPTIUF5wa
— lissy (@babeygirlmac) September 14, 2023
can we crowdfund this pic.twitter.com/ZUMTEMGkj4
— jay (@kendallhosseini) September 14, 2023