Being thumped 11-1 in your very first match would cause most new football teams to consider sacking the manager, to contemplate drafting in a new goalkeeper, to question if it is worth continuing even.
For the Held In Our Hearts FC players who were thrashed by that whopping margin by Denny Warriors at Little Kerse in Polmont just outside Falkirk last weekend the outcome of the friendly encounter was inconsequential.
The side is made up entirely of bereaved fathers who have lost children at an early age. All of them were able to put the heavy reverse in its proper perspective given the personal tragedies they have suffered in the past.
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William Stevenson turned out at right-back as the team he helped to start up – which is named after the Scottish charity that provided him and his wife with invaluable support following the tragic death of their newborn son Campbell back in 2024 - made their bow.
He enjoyed meeting up with his team mates despite the unfortunate result and is looking forward to their next fixture next month, as well as the fundraising match against Arniston Rangers at the Vanloq Community Stadium in Edinburgh on Sunday, October 11, enormously.
“It was the first time that a lot of the boys had met and we were playing against an established team,” he said. “It was all about putting faces to names really, getting to know each other and building up our fitness levels. It was just good to get a run out.
“Every single one of us is a grieving father. We've all been in the exact same situation, some of us quite recently, some of us in the past. We have all lost children at different ages as well, everyone has a different story. It is quite powerful when you meet up and talk to each other.”
The mental health benefits of playing football are considerable for young Scottish males – who are at a higher risk of stress, depression and suicide due to their tendency to supress emotions and mask internal pain with destructive behaviours – and the Scottish government and the SFA both fund worthy initiatives which encourage participation.
So getting together with other men who have been through the same terrible ordeal as him to talk, to socialise, to kick a ball about a park, was an invaluable experience for Stevenson as well as an important part of his ongoing healing process. The same was true of all of the Held In Our Hearts players.
Yet, the 32-year-old product marketing executive from Loanhead outside Edinburgh is pleased that he is going to be able to give something back to an early-intervention organisation which was there for him during the darkest period of his life.
“When my wife had her 20 week scan we found out our son had CDH or congenital diaphragmatic hernia,” he said. “It is basically a hole in the chest. We knew he would need an operation to move his internal organs and fix it when he was born.
“But we didn’t anticipate how big the hole would be and what affect it would have. His organs were in his chest cavity and that compressed his lungs which meant they didn’t grow. When he tried to breathe on his own it impacted on where his heart was. We lost Campbell 56 seconds after he was born on November 3, 2024.
“We had met with every kind of specialist for months, doctors, consultants, paediatricians, surgeons, and everyone we spoke to thought that he would be fine when he was born.
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“We knew he would have to go in to a ventilator. But we thought that would happen and then he would have an operation to fix the hole in his chest and his organs and he would be okay. Unfortunately, we didn't realise the extent of the damage.
“It was totally devastating when we lost him. We didn't know what to think, didn’t know what to feel. I don’t know if this is a man thing, but I went straight in to protection mode and tried to help my wife to cope with the whole situation. Ultimately, though, I had to deal with it as well.
“I can recall sitting at three o’clock in the morning and thinking, ‘Where do we go from here?’ But fortunately I remembered the midwife in the hospital telling me about a charity that supports bereaved parents. I went on to their website, read about what they do in more detail and a did a self-referral.”
Stevenson added, “Held in our Hearts were a lifeline for me. I could talk to them about anything I was feeling. The support my wife and I have had from them has been absolutely fantastic. I would recommend them to anyone who has had the misfortune to experience what we did.
“All kinds of difficult things arise. People knew Clare was pregnant and knew her due date. All of a sudden we are back home without a baby. What do you say to folk when you are out at the shop? What do you say when you get asked, ‘Have you two not got any kids yet?’ Held In Our Hearts gave us all that advice.
“We did peer support counselling sessions with them for between six months and a year. Clare still goes to see them to this day. You soon realise that you're not alone on this journey, you understand that other people have been through the same thing. I was 32 and I had never met anyone who had lost a child never mind knew what it felt like. But I have now.
“They have multiple group chats. They have chats where mums can speak to each other, chats on how to parent after the loss of a child and there is a chat for dads. Scottish men don't talk about how they are feeling and what they are thinking. It is really helpful.
“Held In Our Hearts put on events as well. We have all met up, spoken about how we got to where we are, discussed what our experiences have been like and how we deal with things. It's quite powerful when you sit in a room with 12 other men and everyone shares their story.
“The members of the dad’s support group chat met up for pickleball and pizza in Craiglockhart one night a while back. The idea to start a football team and play a fundraising match came out of that. I just thought it would be great to get 20 odd dads out on a football pitch honouring their little one’s memory. The response was great.
“Arniston Rangers, the football team I normally play for, had a remembrance match last year and made around £5,000. We talked about doing something similar and are going to play a fundraising match in October. The sponsors have been so easy to get, everyone has wanted to support the cause.”
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Premiership clubs including Celtic, Hearts, Hibs and St Mirren have all donated items for the raffle. Falkirk went above and beyond. Their manager John McGlynn turned up at Stevenson’s door and hand-delivered a strip that was signed by every member of his side.
“John lives nearby so he just decided to drop it off on his way home,” he said. “We had a chat and he wished us all the best for the event. I wished Falkirk all the best for the rest of the season - apart from when they play Hearts.”
Gary Mackay, the Hearts legend and former Scotland midfielder, has agreed to manage the Held In Our Hearts team on the day while Wouter Vrancken, the Tynecastle manager, and Neil Lennon, his Dunfermline counterpart, have both pledged to lend their support if their busy schedules allow.
“It's a charity fundraising football match which will be played during Baby Loss Awareness Week at Spartans’ ground,” said Stevenson. “The support we have had from throughout Scottish football and sport as well as the business community has been phenomenal, the prizes we've received for the raffle have been incredible.
“Hopefully we can also raise the profile of some of the issues surrounding baby loss as well as some money. I think that raising awareness and raising funds go hand in hand.”
Stevenson, who is now the proud father of a healthy nine-month-old son Miller, was surprised when he discovered that not all parents who lose a child receive the crucial help which Held In Our Hearts provide. He has thrown his backing behind the Hospital to Home campaign which the charity has launched.
“At the moment, certain health boards across Scotland are not required to automatically refer any parent who has suffered a child loss to Held In Our Hearts,” he said.
“The in-home support model is in place in Lothian, Fife, Forth Valley and Highland, but not everywhere. So parents don't always get the assistance that they should get and need. There's a big push on at the moment to make sure everyone gets the same offer and nobody misses out.
“Myself and my wife and another two couples who have suffered from child loss have written an open letter to Maree Todd, the minister for women’s health, asking her to make it a statutory right rather than a postcode lottery. We have asked people to provide signatures and back the campaign.
“By holding a football match during Baby Loss Awareness week we are trying to raise the profile of the issues and using the sport to show the importance of men getting the help that they need following the loss of a child and the benefits of talking about it.”
Held In Our Hearts FC will play Arniston Rangers in a charity fundraising match during Baby Loss Awareness Week at 3pm on Sunday, October 11, at the Vanloq Community Stadium in Edinburgh.
Anyone wishing to make a donation can do so here: https://www.justgiving.com/page/heldinourheartsvsands?utm_medium=FR&utm_source=CL&utm_campaign=lc_frp_share_transaction_fundraiser_page_donation_received_-_nth_donation
