I love how The Bachelors just got the rulebook for this ten-season series, did a huge wee on it, threw it into a sewer, stewed it around a bit and then lit it on fire. Honestly, like we open tonight’s episode at the END of the rose ceremony! We never do that!
This is because Lord And Saviour Krystal
Tilly Lost Sealmy hobby? kissing. my secret I’ve never told anyone? I’m a great kisserMeditation DaddyTruly no one can use a telescope in broad daylight and not come off as a creepI’ve dated three Jeds, one Felix and chatted for an entire week to a ThomasThe Bachelors JedAngela,You might remember me from “that one tennis scene”“Lauren”Is this just a producer they threw in last minute to fill a gapBritney SpearsThis is where Pitbull would take a dateif I took a shot for whenever someone said “my walls are up” this season I’d be deadso I met you…. at the park? And you’ve been in the house this whole time?hahaha but seriously. Did I pick youwhat do I like to do on weekends? Kissingdinner and a show! round two!Please, look more disinterested in each otherAbbie ChatfieldThe Bachelors HustlersGET. IT. GIRL.I regret everythingI was meant to just be a plant in the group you weren’t supposed to pick mejust tell me you fuckedyou do realise this is the bachelors and we’re all dating him bebare there party bags tho that’s a moodI WILL BARRAGE YOUNEVER STOP DRY HUMPING METhe Bachelorsoh honey. who’s gonna tell herTASHsurprise bitchMelissa Mason is a freelance writer, you can find her on Insta and TikTok.
