A common complaint about dating apps is that people are rarely completely honest when they create their profiles. But Texas native Kristen Armstrong, 41, took a different approach to online dating: she decided to tell the whole truth. And her love story turned out to be more complicated, and more inspiring, than most people could ever imagine.
In 2008, Kristen was married to Brandon Smith, now 41. At the time, life was not exactly easy for the young couple.
“We were broke and living with my mom,” Kristen recalled while speaking to Newsweek. “Materialistically, we didn’t have much, but we had each other and so many dreams for our future.”
Her role changed
Unfortunately, those dreams were tested much sooner than either of them expected. On Nov. 5, 2010, while Kristen was driving from one job to another, she received an unexpected call from authorities informing her that Brandon had been involved in a serious accident with a moving truck.
Kristen still remembers the chaos of that day. She said authorities first instructed her to pull over before telling her that Brandon was severely injured and had been airlifted to a Level 1 trauma center. She wanted to know if he would survive, but they could not give her that answer over the phone.
At the time, the couple had only been married for two years. But nothing could have prepared them for what came next.
For the next two months, Brandon remained in a coma. Eventually, he regained consciousness, but the accident had permanently changed his life. He never regained the ability to walk or independently care for himself, and Kristen’s role slowly transformed from wife to full-time caregiver.
@followmetothemouse There were times in the early days after B’s accident that neither one of us wanted to continue being of this earth. Thank goodness we both healed and decided to keep living. There is life after tragedy, there is life after Brain Injury. tbi healed chosenfamily caregiver tbisurvivor
♬ original sound – Runitup
Today, Brandon continues to struggle with memory issues caused by his brain injury. Kristen describes herself as his “safe person” — the familiar presence he can always depend on to be there for him.
Years later, Kristen joined Match.com, but she was determined to be upfront about her reality. When she met James Armstrong through the platform, she told him during their first phone conversation about Brandon, their history together, and the fact that any relationship with her would also mean accepting Brandon as an important part of her life.
James was not intimidated. Instead, Kristen said he was compassionate and curious about Brandon. He wanted to meet him almost immediately, and over time, the two developed a genuine friendship. They eventually became close enough to tell each other they loved each other.
“I have seen them laugh together and Brandon has even told James that he loves him,” she said. “James also often says this to Brandon.”
Because of Brandon’s brain injury, he does not fully understand that James is now Kristen’s husband. But that has not stopped the three of them from forming a unique family.
They have a blended family
Kristen and James now share two daughters, ages 8 and 6, as well as a 17-year-old stepson from James’ previous relationship.
Kristen said one moment perfectly captured the kind of love that exists within their blended family.
“The other day I looked over and James was clipping Brandon’s toenails,” she recalled. “He is truly a partner in caring for and loving Brandon.”
For Kristen, their story is a reminder that love does not always follow the traditional path people expect.
“Love comes in all shapes and sizes,” she said.
