Exceptional by Asda
Quiche lorraine
£3.50, 400g, asda.com
Itamar: This feels very wet and raw.
Sarit: Very soggy bottom. If you just eat the filling, it’s not that bad, but … it’s pretty bad. Maybe if you went home and put it in a hot oven … I feel like you shouldn’t be eating this at this level of bakedness.
I: I feel like you shouldn’t be eating this full stop.
★★
Waitrose
Mac ’n’ cheese quiche
£3.50, 400g, waitrose.com
S: What is it? I can’t tell. Pasta? Ah …
I: The issue is similar with the pastry. The flavour I find … offensive. Are we the best people to do this?
★
M&S Viva
Pork and English mustard sausage roll
£3.75, 2 x 180g, Marks & Spencer
S: This is quite yellow, and looks pretty appealing. Mustardy! That comes through. It does feels like there is some proper meat in it.
I: I am a friend of this. Nice.
★★★★
Morrisons the Best
’Nduja sausage rolls
£3.50 for 8, 144g, morrisons.com
S: Is this kind of a chorizo? I don’t like the look of it. Yes, I hate that. It’s claggy, nothing to it in terms of flavour.
I: You expect it to be more punchy. I don’t think that’s offensive.
S: To me that’s offensive.
★
Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference
Feta and honey filo straws
£3.50 for 4, 130g, sainsburys.co.uk
S: It’s surprising inside. It’s like an actual Middle Eastern-y thing. It looks like it has some sort of za’atar on it. Is it a feta thing?
I: Even though I feel like it is meant to be crispy but isn’t, it’s nice. Cheesy.
S: If someone put it in an oven, it would be quite nice.
★★★
Aldi Specially Selected
Sicilian queen nocellara olives
£1.80, 150g, groceries.aldi.co.uk
I: We’re big olive people. I love the look of this. I love the colour.
S: Crisp. Good.
I: All day, every day. This in one sitting, just me. This is top.
★★★★★
Tesco Finest
Double stuffed halkidiki olives
£3.25, 160g, tesco.com
S: Is it chilli or pepper stuffed? And garlic. Still crisp. I’d eat these.
I: Nice, but a little bit too salty. But good.
★★★★
Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference
Romesco olives
£3.50, 160g, sainsburys.co.uk
I: Mmm, I love this. This is lemon and chilli.
S: It’s like a Tunisian peppery relishy lemony thing.
★★★★
M&S Collection
Deli Spanish pinchos
£5, 124g, Marks & Spencer
I: If someone stuffs an olive like this, I respect that. If you stuff an olive for me, we’re good. If there’s cheese and ham in it, you start high. It’s like a meal.
S: It’s a satisfying snack for a picnic. Substantial.
I: If the olives were a shade less strong, it would be kissing five stars. It’s a good idea. I’d buy this.
★★★★
Aldi the Deli
Serrano and gouda rollitos
£1.99, 80g, aldi.co.uk
S: Cheese in ham. This is nice. Decent. The cheese is a bit funky.
I: I respect the effort. Yum. Really good. Good ham, tastes like good quality. Rolled things is a whole genre I didn’t know existed.
★★★★★
Asda
Italian cheese and ham rollitos
£3, 88g, asda.com
I: Now all I want to eat is cheese rolled in ham. Two minutes ago I didn’t know it was a thing. Now it’s my favourite genre of finger food.
S: This is not as good. Is it mozzarella or something? But I would still choose to have this on a picnic.
★★★★
Co-op Irresistible
Whipped feta and mint dip
£2.50, 160g, shop.coop.co.uk
S: It’s like a seasoned ricotta, yoghurt or something. What is it?
I: With mayonnaise?
S: Please tell us what it is … oh, it’s not salty enough to be a whipped feta, not distinctive.
★★
M&S Viva
Green goddess dip
£2.25, 170g, Marks & Spencer
I: Oh! I like this green guy. Herby – basil, dill.
S: Does it have avocado? The flavour is OK, but it’s very emulsified, quite oily. Mayonnaise? I might spread it on a sandwich.
I: Yes, I wouldn’t call it a dip. Where does a spread end and a dip begin?
★★★
M&S Food
Fully loaded Indian style dip
£4, 410g, Marks & Spencer
S: A layered dip, how American.
I: Again, we respect the effort. Oh, I love it, something beanie-lentilly, something tomatoey, something creamy. I don’t even need a dipper, but I would have it with crisps. It’s more like a meal. Thank you so much.
S: Yeah, that’s OK. It’s super rich.
I: ★★★★★/S: ★★★★
Co-op
Creamy Bombay potato salad
£2.50, 225g, coop.co.uk
I: Potato salad is definitely something I’d buy for a picnic. Everything is very good here except for the potatoes. I’ve never tasted potato like that. Something bad happened to them and someone needs to answer for it.
S: They’re floury and mushy but also waxy.
★
Waitrose
Roast garlic aioli potato salad
£2.50, 225g, waitrose.com
S: This at least tastes like a potato.
I: The chivey sour cream is completely my thing. I can sit with this happily.
I: ★★★★/S: ★★★
Sarit Packer and Itamar Srulovich are chef-owners of Honey & Co. The 10th anniversary edition of Honey & Co: Food from the Middle East (Headline, £28) is out now
