With the rise of social media, weddings have become a bit of a spectacle. Hey, people even hire wedding content creators these days so they can get the perfect TikTok to post in the hopes they’ll go viral (they’re also cheaper than a videographer, TBF).
And because more people are sharing their special days on the ‘gram (as they should), it means we’re seeing weddings get more bougie and elaborate with every post. Couples trying to outdo each other in the hope that their wedding day will trump all others. Having a second wedding dress, custom cocktail menus, and all the bells and whistles are now the norm.
Though some people like to keep their weddings intimate, private affairs, it feels as though a lot of couples are absolutely balling with their budgets.
So, if you don’t have a loose $100K to throw around for your dream wedding, what are your options? We spoke to director and co-founder of The Wed Shed, Amy Parfett, to find out how to still plan a special day.
Getting real about your budget
“I think there’s a bit of a misconception that a lot of weddings are really massive,” Amy said.
“The reality is that most weddings aren’t $100K, but it’s just that couples see these extravagant weddings because so much wedding content that gets shared and pinned online comes from weddings where budget isn’t a deciding factor in how the day looks.”
According to Amy, the “normal wedding club” typically has a budget between $30,000 to $60,000. But because it’s the elaborate, bougie weddings with all the fixings that create share-worthy, scroll-stopping content, we’re more exposed to what’s unachievable.
But the cozzie livs isn’t solely responsible for our budget limitations. In a post-COVID (sorry for the C-word), people are being more intentional with how they celebrate — and who they do it with — to keep their numbers and budget in order.
“During that time we realised actually having a smaller wedding doesn’t mean we’re compromising on a celebration. It means it’s more intimate and in some ways it can actually be more meaningful as well,” she explained.
Amy said that the generation of couples getting married now are also more money conscious and intentional with how they want to spend their hard-earned dollars.
How to reset your expectations
So, you’ve gotten engaged and are starting to plan your wedding, and are very quickly realising that the one you dreamed up in your head won’t become a reality without putting yourself into debt. How can you come to terms with that?
“A common mistake is that couples will jump in, they’ll set a figure and be like, ‘This is the budget’, and then they’ll start trying to plan a wedding without really thinking about what actually is important to them first and then discussing that with their partner and perhaps with their families,” Amy pointed out.
Amy said the best way to go into wedding planning with a clear head, budget, and vision is to sit down with your partner, cracking open a wine, and discussing how you want the day to feel like. From there, looks can grow, but the mood can’t be forced, no matter budget.
Want a dance floor that pops off? Then you might want to allocate some of your budget to a live band or DJ instead of a Spotify playlist. Are you really passionate about food and a sit down dinner? Then finding a caterer that can whip up a feast might be your top priority.
“You need to figure out what’s important to you and then spend properly on those two to three priorities, and let the rest go, and be okay with that,” Amy said.
People vs frills
Once you’ve figured out how you want your wedding to feel, you have to decide the thing that’s going to impact how your wedding looks the most: more people, or more frills.
If you’re opting for more people on your guest list, you’re probably going to have to sacrifice how elaborate your wedding looks, whether that means canapés instead of a three-course meal, minimal florals, a simpler venue, etc. But if you’re taking the other route, you’ll be able to ball out a little more… at the cost of perhaps not having everyone you want there.
“We’re seeing heaps of couples actually opt for this as well where they’re having a smaller, more intimate guest list, and it means that their money stretches further and they can do more experiences for their guests,” Amy said.
“You’ve got the same budget, but you’re using it in a different way depending on what the vibe is that you want for your wedding.”
How to make your wedding feel special without the luxury vendors
If you don’t have a $100K budget, don’t worry, there’s still hope for you to have a beautiful wedding day. Amy told PEDESTRIAN.TV that a lot of what you see is more achievable than you think.
For instance, if you want a moody, candlelit vibe for your reception, you can arrange the candles on the tablescape yourself, rather than paying hundreds — possible thousands — for someone to do it for you.
Having been to hundreds of weddings, Amy said that she can hardly ever remember the specifics of florals or table linens. What she left remembering was how the day felt. So, she pointed out that reframing ‘luxury’ is important.
“It might sound trite, but I think the luxury of of an actual wedding is getting to spend really like beautiful concerted time with your family and friends,” she said.
“It’s not to minimise how weddings look and or if anyone wants to have a really beautiful wedding you can do that just by having simple taper candles or paired-back flowers.”
Amy suggested sticking to one element for table settings, and having the focus on good food, good booze, and great music. “They’re the three things, honestly, that make a wedding successful in my opinion.”
The 4 best areas to save on your wedding
Invite less people
According to Amy, the biggest money-saver when it comes to weddings is inviting less people. This means a smaller venue, less food, less drinks, and “less bums in seats”.
Book an all-inclusive venue
“It might sound counterintuitive, but actually booking a venue that has everything included,” Amy explained.
“A lot of couples will get caught out by hiring a really DIY venue without realising actually how much the individual elements can cost by the time you’ve added it all together.”
Getting married on a week day or in off-peak season
If you can, swapping a weekend wedding for a mid week wedding can help you save on costs. Rather than paying wedding rates, some venues will let you pay normal event rates, since it’s not a typical day for a wedding.
Saying ‘I do’ in off-peak season is another money-saving tactic. Amy said that most couples get married in autumn or spring, so opting for summer or winter could save you some dollars.
You don’t need to pay for things you don’t want
Believe it or not, you have free will, and you can use it on your wedding day!
“You might decide not to have a cake, and instead you invest in a round of cocktails or something like that,” Amy suggested.
“That’s not necessarily a cheaper swap, but it’s swapping your budget for things that are actually going to be more important for you.”
So if you don’t have a monstrosity of a budget that’s equivalent to a Vogue wedding, don’t fret. There are countless other ways to make your day special, even on a regular-person budget.
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