Dick Butkus is still delivering hits — just a different kind.
The Bears’ hard-nosed middle linebacker of the 1960s and 1970s just joined Twitter at the ripe old age of 79. He’s no longer treating opponents’ heads like twist-top bottle caps, but he’s still dishing it out:
— Responding to a tweet claiming “you killed my grandpa on the football field”: “Probably deserved it.”
— “Based on my numbers, the entire city of Peoria is following me.”
— “Maybe the world needs butcoin. Can be used to purchase deep dish pizza and Chicago beef.”
— “Fantasy football is what guys played after I hit them.”
Headlines
— At @NFL_Memes: “Breaking: NFL cancels the rest of the playoffs, will make the Super Bowl a best-of-7 series between the Chiefs and Bills.”
— In the Los Angeles Times, after the Rams beat Tom Brady and the Bucs: “GOAT busters.”
Penalty on the play
The NFL fined Chiefs WR Tyreek Hill for using a cheerleader’s pom-poms to celebrate a touchdown.
League bean-counter, penciling out the unsportsmanlike-conduct tally: “Two bits, four bits, six bits … $12,875.”
Gone Googling
The Packers had only 10 men on the field when the 49ers kicked the winning field goal in their playoff game.
Apparently the missing guy was off doing his own research on blocking kicks.
That’s not the ticket
Gonzaga suspended the basketball season tickets of former NBA star John Stockton because he refused to comply with his alma mater’s COVID-19 mask mandate.
In other words, he believes the only place you set a screen is on pick-and-rolls.
Out of state
If you think that guy was mad enough to sue for fraud because New York’s Giants and Jets play in New Jersey, wait’ll he finds out that the New Jersey Generals are going to play in Birmingham, Alabama.
Lots of Nantz
CBS’s Jim Nantz called Friday’s and Saturday’s Farmers Insurance Open remotely from Kansas City, where he’ll also work Sunday’s Chiefs-Bengals game.
Golfers or kickers, he’ll certainly get his fill of shanks and hooks.
Upon further review
— Stanford play-by-play broadcaster Scott Reiss, on the Bills losing the OT coin toss against the Chiefs: “Pretty much the only mistake Josh Allen made in two weeks was call ‘tails.’ ”
— Sam Farmer of the L.A. Times, via Twitter, after QBs Jimmy Garropolo and Joe Burrow staged NFL upsets last Saturday: “As a friend reminded me, it’s not about the X’s and O’s, but the Jimmys and Joes.”
— Colin Cowherd of Fox Sports Radio, after all four NFL divisional playoff games were decided on the final play: “I give up. The entire weekend is drunk.”
Talking the talk
— Islanders Hall of Famer Clark Gillies, who died at 67 on Jan. 21, when once asked where his native Moose Jaw was located: “Six feet from the moose’s ass.”
— Matt Prehm of 247Sports.com, via Twitter: “Looks like John Stockton and Aaron Rodgers both graduated from the University of YouTube.”
— @BobbyBigWheel, via Twitter: “Aaron Rodgers likes his football the way he likes his medical advisers, with zero degrees.”
— Nick Canepa of The San Diego Union-Tribune, on Broncos exec John Elway expecting his eighth grandchild: “A long wait for his next quarterback.”
Tweet of the Week
“There will be snow (2-5”) tomorrow during the AM rush hour, so you know the routine: Make sure your tires have good tread, drive slowly & give the same amount of room to nearby cars that the Bills gave to Travis Kelce with 7 seconds left to get to FG range.” — Lakewood (Colo.) Police Department
Quote marks
— Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun, listing his all-time favourite Penguins: “Sidney Crosby, Mario Lemieux, Burgess Meredith, Jaromir Jagr, Bob Johnson and Danny DeVito.”
— Bill Walton of ESPN, on the University of Kansas going by KU: “That’s like me spelling my name ‘B-I-L-L’ and you calling me Zeke.”
— Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on diva WR Antonio Brown still drawing NFL interest, apparently this time from Ravens QB Lamar Jackson: “It’s all part of the league’s strict superstar policy: ‘17 strikes and you’re out.’ ”
