Late-night hosts spoke about Donald Trump’s ad for a $60 Bible as well as some good news about one of his upcoming trials.
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers said that Trump was “desperate for cash” while also barely coherent on social media, with a recent post claiming that Joe “Buden” has been a president who “misinformates” and that he needs to make America “grest” again.
“Did he post that while he was on a trampoline?” Meyers asked.
The post hadn’t been taken down as of airing. “Either he doesn’t know or doesn’t care or knows his supporters don’t care,” he said.
Trump has also been given a gag order for his upcoming criminal trial over hush money paid to Stormy Daniels, which stops him from attacking those involved with the court. “Telling Trump he can’t attack people is like telling Trump he can’t breathe,” he said.
This week also saw the former president start to hawk Bibles, “his slimiest cash grab yet” with copies going for $60. “Yep, the guy who’s about to go on trial for paying hush money to cover up an affair with a porn star is selling Bibles,” he said.
Meyers jokes that “most of the 10 commandments are blacked out”.
He added: “Trump’s campaign isn’t in any way a real political campaign, it’s a money-making venture in an attempt to get out of jail.” Meyers also said that Trump “very obviously doesn’t care about making America great again”.
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert also spoke about good news in “one of Trump’s thousands of court cases” with the gag order announcement.
“OK that’s positive but it raises the disturbing question: how do you gag someone who speaks out of their ass?” Colbert asked. He then responded: “The answer is very carefully.”
Trump is under an “avalanche of legal scrutiny” yet still finds time for his “non-stop grifting of the rubes” with a Truth Social ad for his new God Bless the USA Bible.
Colbert said it was “just like any other good book except in the middle of this one there’s a centrefold”.
Selling the book is “no surprise” given that “making a profit is Trump’s religion” even though buyers would be “spending $60 on public domain writing” with the text of the Bible joined by historic documents like the constitution.
In the video, Trump alleges that he has a great number of Bibles in his house. “He has to have spare Bibles because every time he holds one, it bursts into flames,” he jokes.
Colbert also spoke about Trump’s claim that he won major awards at his own golf club, which has now been debunked. He joked to audience members that he would “give you a moment to pick your jaw up off the floor”.
The sports writer Rick Reilly, who has golfed with Trump, has said “his wins are as fake as Velveeta cheese”. Colbert responded: “How dare you sir! Velveeta isn’t fake, it’s full of all-natural ingredients like yellow and rectangle.”
Reilly said more talented golfers would pretend that Trump won because they wanted their own stories about him cheating. “The only other way to get a story about Trump cheating is to marry him,” he quipped.
The past week has also seen former the RNC head Ronna McDaniel make the news. “In case you’re unfamiliar with Ronna McDaniel, she’s terrible,” he said.
She was hired by NBC, which caused a backlash both inside and outside of the network given her support of Trump and his election lies, which led to her being quickly ousted. It was the “most recent time she’s been fired” as she was also removed from the RNC and replaced in part by Lara Trump.
Many others have been removed and forced to reapply, the process of which involves them being asked for their thoughts on the “stolen” election. “If you wanna work at the RNC, then you’ve gotta believe Trump’s big lie.”
