It doesn’t matter what I think of the new, clunkily titled Vogue Williams-fronted E4 show Send Nudes: Body SOS, (Wednesday, 10.15pm, E4) because it doesn’t exist.
What must have happened is this: some weeks ago, I must have got into an accident and fallen into a long, sad coma. It doesn’t matter about the specifics – you don’t exist, I don’t exist, this column does not actually “exist” – but I think it was on my birthday, when that bus swerved very close to my head. I think what actually happened is it hit me, the bus, and I am brutally unconscious, and everything that has happened to me for the past month and a half has been the delirium of my dying brain. And there is no more proof that I am in an imagined world of my own mania than “Send Nudes: Body SOS”, which is clearly a message from the illuminated realm telling me to wake up, wake up, wake up.
