Savaged by Simon Jordan – and thanks to the algorithm I want to be savaged again

‘I was a side-beef, an afterthought. By now the algorithm is already filling my feed with fresh SJ face-offs.’ Illustration: David Humphries

Yet again the mainstream wokealorium is preachifying from its pulpitrex. It’s egregious. It’s sanctiforial. It’s a wangitude of complete retardifaction.

This has not been an easy column to write. It has been difficult, gruelling in parts, but also warm, exhilarating and at times deeply erotic. Yes. I was SAVAGED by Simon Jordan. And I’ve never felt so alive.